im not stereotyping any gender when it comes to this question because man or woman -- there is always the possibility to cheat. i've met many people who have cheated on their spouses because they're looking for something that their spouses can no longer give (read: sex). but when i ask them "why don't you separate with your spouse then? give them and yourself a chance to move on and find someone who can satisfy you?" they'd say "i still love him/her" then i'd ask "if you love this person, why did you cheat then?!" -- i don't think sex is an acceptable reason for cheating. obviously, these people didn't marry for love, but for lust. because if you love a person, no matter how imperfect he/she is... you'd never replace him/her with somebody else. so why do married people cheat (well not all of course.) instead of cheating, why not just separate with their spouses?
2006-06-12 03:34:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oh another thing... if they are so bored with their marriage and wanted to have sex with other people, why did they get married in the first place if they can't stay married?
2006-06-12 03:43:37 · update #1
because people are too cowardly to look at what issues are facing them rather than doing the work on themselves and the relationship in order to make it more functional. Cheating is a escape, not an alternative.
2006-06-12 03:42:15 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, cheating is just a symptom of the real problem in a relationship. It isn't THE problem. When you get married, every problem you ever had before the marriage is magnified X100. Family relationships, money, kids, jobs, etc. all take a toll on a couple. When a couple stops communicating effectively they seek out other alternatives. Some people simply get bored of the same routine everyday. When one in a marriage is hurt for some reason they also act out in certain ways and this is one of them. It isn't usually done to hurt the other person but usually to console themselves. Yes, it's selfish but it's done. Sometimes on a rarity we marry the wrong person and find our true love later. This is when cheating is no longer cheating but becomes something from nothing.
2006-06-12 10:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by sweetypie9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to think just like you - until it happened to me. You cannot claim I married for lust, I have been married to the same man for 21 years, believe me.........people change! We do still love each other, but .................it's just so indifferent. In my case,sex was not the "goal", it was the result. I would NEVER have cheated, thought anyone shallow enuf to do it was weak. I was weak - and it happened The friendship was never meant to cross that line, but after years of neglect from my husband, I let myself enjoy the touch of a man who has loved me for 22 years. There is no justification for it and I don't know that I can ever forgive myself. I made a thoughtless decision, and I will pay for that mistake the rest of my life. Communication is so important, and is missing from so many couples lives. You get caught up in the day to day complications and difficulties in life.
2006-06-12 12:23:48 · answer #3 · answered by hotleggz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time they cheat because they are lacking or not being fullfilled somehow in the marriage... It is usually selfish desires and wants that lead to this... You are right they should leave or get out before even thinking about doing this to their marriage or their spouse. If you truley love your spouse you will not cheat anyway! I agree with you an alot that you have said here... Thanks for bringing this up .....
2006-06-12 12:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a long term marriage many things come up that can cause people to change take me fo example i worked at a factory for 26 yrs and have been with my wife for 20 yrs i lost my job not of my own fault the factory closed and went to mexico i didn't quit or get fired and my wife has kinda let me know that i'm worthless though i have tried all avenues to find a good steady job nothing has worked even went back to school and finshed that.
but i still have phyiscal needs and she is never willing
2006-06-12 15:04:48 · answer #5 · answered by cowboy8870 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cause no one is meant to be with the same person for their whole life. No matter what you get bored sleeping with and being around the same person ALL the time. Marriage does not work anymore. Soon the divorce rate will be almost 100%.
2006-06-12 10:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well , theres a saying that goes that you cannot have curry everyday that why ppl tend to stray and get bored after having the same stuff everyday.. however before straying ppl must try to find a way to spice things up befor giving up.. another saying also goes if you are used to a certain way that curry is cooked v. unlikely that you would want a diff. taste..plus theres always many ways to cook curry... hehehe
2006-06-12 10:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by gwen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they know themselves. I've asked the same questions as you, and also get the same answers. People just don't fully commit to one another these days.
2006-06-12 10:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by trackie1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lure of the forbidden. Strange partners are fun and exciting.
2006-06-12 10:40:57 · answer #9 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are selfish they want their cake and they want to eat it to
2006-06-12 10:40:25 · answer #10 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋