I am 18 but everyone says that I am very mature for my age. I have never had a boyfriend and I ve never been truly in love. I was always working hard in school and home helping my parents.
Four years ago I met him. He is almost older than my father (47), my professor and a priest. I have a great respect to him because he achieved so much. He is perfectionist, I am too. Everyone loves him, I would like to be loved that way too. He is also very handsome. I do not think that I am in love. I would never dared to think that sth could happen between us. I would never ever even admit my feelings and no one knows about them. But every day it gets harder to live that way. I feel guilt and shame. I am lost.
2006-06-11 23:45:50 · 25 answers · asked by Veronika 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you all. I couldn`t even imagine that you would help me like that.
Nina, special thanks to you. I think you are right. He is my symbol. And about my dad. You`re right. He does remind me to him. Thank you all for your support and thank you because you believe in me.
2006-06-12 04:04:31 · update #1
dear veronica, it seems that you achieved so many things in your life and done so many nice things that any 1 in your age would just go out and have fun...I dont call this very mature but I call it responsible...if you dont want to have a boyfriend in that age you dont have to ....the right time will come ....on the otherhand you worked hard in school and helped your parents which is rear nowadays....and about your professor you cant live your life through others (I would like to be loved that way too) he can be all what you say ..but I think that you are not anything less than that sure so many people love you and you dont have to be perfectionist or cute to be loveed people should love you the way you are ....and you do not love him you want to be like him like a daughter who want to be like her father..thats love also but in a nice way ...you dont have to be ashamed ...you are only confused ....if you cant find any one in your age like the professor that because its too early ...but one day you will find the perfect man for you..some one you can compare with the professor....and dont say I dont even dare to think that...because you are thinking and the more you think the more you get confused ...what you have to do is direct you feelings in the right way , you admire him and respect him and he is handsom but he is you father in a way...he is your symbol....so learn from him spend time with him if it makes you feel better ...but may I ask you where is you father? do you spend time with him ? or do you have a good relation with him? because that will answer you so many questions....and hope you all the best..I would be very proud if i have a daughter like you.....
2006-06-12 00:11:18 · answer #1 · answered by nina_prettybalerina 1 · 17⤊ 5⤋
I'm not really sure what you're question is - are you worried that you've never been in love/had a boyfriend? Or are you in love with the priest guy?
I don't think, realistically, that you should think about the professor that way... I know you cant just 'ged rid of your feelings, but seriously, I dont see your parents supporting you dating a guy who's their age. Or do you just admire him and want to be like him?
I think you need to wait things out. I'm 20, I've been with lots of guys but never been in love, and never had a real long-term relatoinship, but I'm not worried about it - why should you be worried at 18? You're young and have your whole life ahead of you.
DONT feel guilt and shame either - you cant help who you're attracted to, but you CAN help how those attractions affect your life. You can let these feelings consume and make you feel bad and desperate and hopeless about yourself OR you can use them as motivation to work really hard in your own life, and to be a better person. Which choice do you want to make?
Trust me, you sound intelligent and very self-consious of your your own feelings and behaviour - I bet you anything you will find the most amazing guy one day!!! Dont worry that you want one - there are heaps of awesome guys out there, ones your own age who you can grow old with - think, when you're 50 this guy will be 80! Tell me you really want to be with someone like that.
:)
Good luck!
2006-06-12 06:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by scarletts_hot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think u love him at all its just that u prob admire him alot n the way he is that u think u falling in love with him. gurl hes almost as old as ur dad like u said he was in ur daddy's generation n hes a priest if u do make a move or something ur heading to the wrong direction. look all u missing out right now in relationships is heartbreak, drama etc they have good stuff to not just bad but what im trying to say is u can live without it. one day god would send u the right one youll know when hes there but to then just enjoy yourself ok. when u meet that certain someone itll be worth the wait
2006-06-12 06:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by sexychica805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
things like this does happens but hell a man who's older than ur father! u have to find someone ur age or two years older than u are even though he's a perfectionist, he's no good for u, he's achieved almost everything in life, its not ur time to achieve urs. u have to try very hard never to admit ur feelings for him, avoid seeing him, think of ur parents, how dissappointed they are going to be if they find out u've got feeling for such an old man.
u are young and need to be loved and cherished by someone younger.
2006-06-12 06:53:53 · answer #4 · answered by pOOhPhAT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference is just too great. There can not be a happy ending to this situation and I am truly sorry for both of you. You have so much going for yourself and I want more for you than him. Trust me this will bring only unhappiness to you both. Go forward and perhaps in another life there is a plan. Good luck!
2006-06-12 06:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear veronika
at some point of time we girls 2 get attracted to men much older than us maybe its cuz v want some1 mature to b there 4 us i do not know.
i can understand that u cannot admit your feelings to any1.but u can start writing a diary it will help u a lot as u r botteled up now.
i am sure u will feel better once u do that.
i know how difficult it is but plz understand that this is jus a phase of life so plz try to concentrate more on your career
2006-06-12 06:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you afraid to share your feelings for this man with him? How do you know he doesn't feel the same way for you? Age isn't important as long as two people are mature and love one another so what do you feel this shame and guilt about?
2006-06-12 06:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just admire his qualities, you're not really in love with him. Don't feel guilty, admit your feelings because that is the only way you can stop it. Sometimes there are feelings that needs to be avoided or stopped not because its a sin but because it makes your love more meaningful. If you really love him then spare him from troubles by walking away, he belongs to God. You're letting him go in order for him to be of service to his God and to his people, this is the best way you can love him.
2006-06-12 07:06:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling guilt and shame thats a sign that some thing isn't right. You need to find some one closer to your age.
2006-06-12 08:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by brighteyes62301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. some cultures may not tolerate love affrairs between teachers and students. Not sure about yours....
2. talk to your parents. get some opinion from them.
3. He's older than you, which means he would die before you.
Could you accept that?
2006-06-12 06:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by changmw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid of what you feel it is natural. You should not be concerned with what other people think you should do. You should go with your heart and your gut feelings. If you was in love with him so what if he is older than you love has no limits. You do not love someone based one age, color, religion etc. You love them because of who they are. I hope you get what you want my dear. Love takes time be patient. Don't look for love let it find you.
2006-06-12 06:50:42 · answer #11 · answered by Tina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋