we split up 2 weeks ago after4 years together but he wont accept its over he keeps calling my phone and coming to the house
2006-06-11 23:13:09 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
disappear
2006-06-11 23:18:03 · answer #1 · answered by hsmnt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write a set of sincere answers to any questions you imagine he may have. Such as
"Do you love me?" "I did but stopped x time ago because Y, I tried to rekindle but can not."
"Is there any chance of us getting back together?" "No, if I believed there was any chance of loving you again I would try for you, but it would just be putting off the inevitable and you'd find being with me, knowing my heart is not in it, tortuous" etc..
Be totally truthful, after 4 years you owe him that, but avoid blaming or criticising him for anything. Explain that you will be breaking contact for one month to allow him to absorb and process. Then after that time, if he still needs more detailed explanation, you will meet him once (if you think meeting would be dangerous, then make sure someone accompanies you or have the conversation over the phone.)
As every wrote, be firm and consistant - avoid any mixed messages or re-assurance that could be interpreted as hope. Good luck
2006-06-12 10:20:03 · answer #2 · answered by del-d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The respondant "Lady Sephie" has the exactly correct answer.
I would add only this, if your in high school, take it to the principal as well.
Let him know, one last time that it's over and he's not to contact you ever again.
Do not acknowledge any attempt from him after the fact and annotate each with time, date, and any evidence he leaves.
After three such attempts you have enough to go to the police and file a report.
After the report, if it continues (DON'T STOP ANNOTATING times and dates) you can take that plus your prior complaint and file for a restraining order.
Good luck.
2006-06-12 06:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain.
First thing you have to do is contact him one last time and simply say that you never want to see him or have any contact with him ever again. Tell him you don't want him to call, e mail or show up at your home or workplace.
Once you have made yourself clear, if he continues to contact you- keep a written record of dates, times and details of when he does so.
Do not respond to any of his contact, don't reply or let him into your home.If he doesn't cease then contact the police and take along your written record and phone records. Make complaints and ask for the crime reference number from the police.
If it worsens see a lawyer and then you will have the evidence to press for legal action to stop him from continuing to harass you in this way. nobody deserves it and there are laws to prevent it.
lastly, keep your chin up and stay happy, the best revenge is to be happy and to get on with your life without him.
Stay well and safe
S
x
2006-06-12 06:22:27 · answer #4 · answered by lady_sephie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two things you need to do, the first is to be completely honest and ask yourself "is it REALLY over?" If you're not 100% certain then neither will he be which is one reason he's not prepared to let you go without a fight.
The second is to appreciate that he might be rather hurt and upset after 4 years and it's perfectly understandable for someone to act this way.
2006-06-12 06:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Spook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police & make a complaint about harassment. If that doesn't sort it he will be arrested & will have no choice but to leave you alone.
Change your phone number of install a call minder so that you know who is calling before you pick up.
Be seen around with a very large, good-looking guy & have him answer your door.
Tell friends you are in love in the hope that they tell your ex.
2006-06-18 13:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
got the same problem myself my dear, dont put your self in a situatuion that leaves you alone with him make sure you are clear with him thats it over then just break all contact delete his number dont answer the phone or agree to meet him he should get the message, try getting some one you both know to have a quiet word with him and explain that its a lost cause he may accept it if he hears it from some one else,
good luck
2006-06-12 06:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by >darkangel< 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write to him and be honest and tell him why and then dont open ure door to him go to ure parents or somthing and turn ure phone of or go into hospital with somthing anynthing to get away just call the police every time he comes to your door harrasment or insult him at ure window he will do somthing stupid then an interdict can be put in place good luck
2006-06-12 08:20:45 · answer #8 · answered by BRIAN L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
meet him once for last, behave with him in very friendly manner and explain the exact reason behind for which u have opted yourself out of this. If possible keep in touch with him till he gets back to normal. dont be rude and careless.
2006-06-12 06:19:22 · answer #9 · answered by tuktuk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely ignore him. Tell him that it is over and that you don't want him anymore. If he calls-do not answer. If he comes round-don't let him in! You need to make yourself happy now...do not back down! Stand your ground...
2006-06-12 11:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him any hope at all. Be polite. Be firm. And clearly mention calling up the police if he does not lay off.
2006-06-12 06:24:27 · answer #11 · answered by Neeraj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋