plz help...ive ben married for 14 years and after doing so much for my hubby i allways feel he does not luv me

Question

my hubby has allways been attached to his family and many times has let me down in front of them, i ve allways stayed by his side no matter wht, he also had an affair two years back, now its over but still i feel this gap between us, he allways misses his family, never wants to communicate with me or give me warmth or even try to understand me, i am fed up with all this but still i luv him and dont want to loose him, i allways feel he is more of his sis and bro rather then me and his kids,i am fed up of trying to make him only mine and get the luv i really deserve, plz suggest me wht to do

Answer 1

You said it..."i am fed up of trying to make him only mine" it's time to move on, you deserve the best in life and all you got is a mamma's boy...it's time he ponies up but as you stated he cares more about his family than his own wife and kids. He showed very Little dedication to his wife when he cheated on you...kick him to the curb and get your self an attorney...check with your local state bar association and give him a wake up call...take him for what he is worth and if he promises to change he had the last 14 years to do it and all he has done is kicked you to the curb. You deserve the best and you do not need to tolerate this kind of crap, keep in touch and let me know of the outcome!

Answer 2

ok, where do I start. I will first say that some of the previous responses were good, and some not so good. In every relationship there is always two sides to a story. Regardless of that, everyone has a reason for acting the way they do. Wether its intentional or not, something is causing him to react negatively to the family that matters most. The only way to find this out is to pray about it, and try to have an open conversation with him about his past and what he feels now. Obviously, things went astray by him having an affair, but never the less, you chose to work through it. Continue to do so without being bitter towards him. If all else fails, and he still won't open up to you and treat you the way you like, then do this; Stop fighting for his attention. Spend that energy on you and your family. If you don't do so already, start hitting the gym, wear something nice on a regular occassion that makes you feel sexy. have pride in yourself. Believe it or not, most men want a woman that can stand on their own two feet. They like the challenge of a good chase. Just because you are married already, doesn't mean that feeling have to go away. You have 14 yrs with this man. What are you doing to keep him inticed. Don't throw yourself at him, just be you, be sexy in a natural way. Make sure you keep your hair, nails, makeup done, and dress nice. Not for him, but for you. Eventually he will start seeing this change. If he still loves you, he will notice and his curiosity will bring him closer to you. If not, this process will help you in the long run. You can't place all men in the same category, there are still some good ones out there. But don't give up on your marriage. If you would like to discuss this further, feel free to email me...A friend tryin to help....Jay by the way, you have to be patient, change doesn't come over night...Jay

Answer 3

Seek counseling and help here. Tell him how you feel and why. You both need marriage counseling and help to even begin to start to heal this marriage and to come closer together and even begin to narrow that gap. If he does not want to put you first above his family this is very sad! Not really a reason for divorce though but maybe you should separate for a while from him!

Answer 4

It sounds to me , like he is very selfish ! A good relationship , should be 50/50 give and take. And , when you really love someone---> you want to make sure that they are comfortable in thier relationship with you . It sounds to me , like he does not try to be there 4 you , or stand behind you on anything at all !
That would pretty much tell me , that he doesn't care a whole lot about you , or your feelings.....

Answer 5

it is very unfortunate and disgusting that this men are all same they demand a lot and donot want to given even respect to women you should talk to him straight as this is your life question and nobody comes in between this relationship.

Answer 6

Your asking the wrong people, you should be asking your spouse, thus u should have an honest answerer.

Answer 7

i dont know how can u say he dosent love u after 14 years.....

Answer 8

FIRST OF ALL, YOU GOTTA PRAY GIRL!!!! ARE YOU SURE GOD WANTED YOU TO MARRY HIM? IF NOT IT WON'T GET BETTER IF GOD DOSEN'T WANT IT TO MAYBE HE HAS SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOUR LIFE IF YOU KNOW GOD WANTS YOU TO STAY ASK GOD TO STRENGTHEN YOUR HEART AND YOUR MARRIAGE.