REINVENTING myself/mymarriage.?

Question

I am 32 years old. My husband is 34.
I need some solid advice on how to reinvent myself and our relationship.
I was raised in abuse and ended up living with my grandparents.
I met my husband when I was 14 and we had our very first date when I was 15 . I have known him half my life. We h ave been married for 15 years . I had very low self esteem which kept me from achiving anything. I see others who are really living life and enjoying it. I see others who have achieved alot. I sit here wondering what have I really done with my life? My husband and I seem to be too comfortable. and we really are not reaching goals like we had dreamed. He is like me in a sense that he doesnt really reach high enough. I WANT US TO HAVE FUN. LEAVE A LEGECY TO OUR KIDS. DO SOMETHING IMPORTANT LIKE HELP CHILDREN . LAUGH ALOT. LIVE OUTLOUD. CAN ANYONE GIVE ME SOLID ADVICE TO WAKE US UP AND GET US MOTIVATED AND INCREASE MY CONFIDENCE?

I have depended on my hubby too much. I want to be a helpmate.

Answer 1

the 2 of you sit down with pen in hand and define what reinventing is....... then make a list of what the 2 of you want to do together...... then alone....... then with kids.......... then write down your dreams......... then pick 1 off each list, and say, each month do 1 of them....... priority !!!!!! God bless

Answer 2

It sounds like you might benefit from some counseling.

You don't say if your husband is motivated enough to try to help you in your quest.

It also doesn't sound like you are very optimistic about this and I am made to wonder why.

Are you setting up goals that you cannot possibly achieve in reaching? Or are you setting up too many goals at once?

If you are setting up too many goals at once, then why not reach for one or two goals at a time - and make every concerted effort to reach that goal.

You can influence another person. If you appear motivated, then you will affect those around you.

You don't seem to have a positive attitude - why is that? You have achieved a 15 year relationship - many cannot lay claim to that achievement. Or have you allowed yourself to settle too much into the relationship?

You might try to seek out hobbies - things that you would enjoy doing without having your spouse around so that you two can have time apart. If you spend too much time together, then you can smother the relationship.

In order to increase your confidence, you have to start with you - I can do this - it may take time, it will take effort, but I can do it.
If you have a defeatist attitude, then you will succeed in nothing.

What I want to achieve may be difficult, but it is not impossible.

One day at a time. You have taken 15 years to work on a marriage - you didn't succeed overnight - it took time, patience, work, understanding, communication, etc.

Discuss your goals with your husband, but don't overwhelm him or yourself with a list of 10/20/30 or more goals.

Good Luck and God bless.

Answer 3

you should start by investing in yourself. you can turn this thing around with some work. i think you need to grow personally. take up a hobby, sign up for a class at a community college, learn something new(music,drama,languafe) set a different hair do that you normally wouldn't. when you love yourself than it is easier for others to love you and want to share things with you. if you start your own band you will see how your husband will be intrigued and motivated also to bring something new to the marriage.

Answer 4

Try new things in your marriage and date all over again. Do new things together and have fun. Spice things up in the bedroom too! How about finding other married couples to be friends with and go out with and do fun clean things together.

Answer 5

yah.....this is existing with most of the persons.......around the globe.....anyway.....i will put it like this.......when one can know herself/himself to whom they got life given by god.....try to find out yourself who are you......this is some kind of religious way to approach your life.....In our country one priest called Vivekananda told everything is with you.....if you want to live this moment happily live it.......like that you should refresh yourself in proper interval......look everything in positive way

let the life be happy for ever.....all the best

Answer 6

don't you guys do anything for fun?

Answer 7

you need to have sex with the milkman