You can not make a baby by yourself. The child has two parents, so let's stop calling the other one names like "dead-beat dad" and other insults that the children are hearing about the parent that they may love. I see that child support is a big issue that is being overlooked, it should not be followed up with jail time, because there are no values in teaching a child about sending their parent or parents to jail. I see that the issue is respect, and neither the parents have respect enough to work out a way to communicate with the other in a civil manner. I hear a lot of hurt people on this site complaining and trying to take revenge on the next person, and then I hear some advice from hurt children that could have possibily heard a parent complain about the absent parent not making child support payments. Child support needs an overhaul, because both parents deserve to have visitation rights, the only one's that are being hurt are the children.( Certain situation may apply)
2006-06-11 18:34:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
If a parent is paying child support and does not get visitation rights, it is because the parent is an awful person (ie- a drug addict). That person should not have visitation rights until he/she gets his/her act together.
If a person doesn't pay to support his/her child, they are a dead-beat. If a person has custody of the child and doesn't pay to support the child, they are a dead-beat and they get the child taken away by CPS. I don't see why a divorced person who doesn't have full-time custody should be reliquinshed of that obligation.
I do agree that they shouldn't go to jail for not paying child-support. It is there to be a deterrent, but it doesn't seem right to send a person to jail for a financial obligation...I just don't know what would be as effective a deterrent if they weren't forced to go to jail.
2006-06-11 18:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Princess 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My brother is a single parent who is the custodial parent to his 2 kids. His ex-wife has never spent money on the kids even when they were married. Quite narcissistic unfortunately. She gave a hell of a fight to get the kids to use them against my brother. This was seen finally by the judge in the case when after many long months she dropped the sweet veneer and the real deal came out. Now that he has custody, she has recently been seeing them but has gone almost a year without calling or visiting. During this time, he never pressed her for child support. He is a much better person than me as he refuses to speak bad about her to the kids and he doesnt tolerate anyone else doing it either. He feels that this will only make the kids feel bad about themselves as they are a product of her. Recently, however, he did ask her to help with the cost of braces as both children need them. She emphatically told him NO! Of course, the kids will never know any of this. This man has only encouraged a relationship between the kids and their mother but she only seems to find time for them when she wants to. They both have told me their feelings about their Mom and how they feel there is something inside of her that is very sad and causes this behavior. Sometimes kids dont need to be told anything, they are a lot smarter than adults quite often. Since they are always looking for the positive side of things, they dont have the jaded point-of-view that some of us possess. I thank God these kids have my brother; he is a wonderful father. He could use help financially but he isnt not going to make an issue of it if it means that the children will be affected by it and he can cut corners in another way to accomodate their needs. Unfortunately, the kids will probably have to do without something for this to happen. If people are going to call Dad's deadbeats, the should include the women in the name calling.
2006-06-12 01:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by edaem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
alot of people use child support as a tool against the other parent. I think that is wrong. The kids are the ones that suffer. I actually get child support from 2 dads and would rather have them be dads to the kids than get the money. Both dads and I are very cival to each other and I have never held my kids as "ransom". It seems like that is what some women do---no money -no kids!" Kids are not pawns and should not be used as such. I don't talk bad about the dads in front of my kids either, I wouldn't want their dad doing it to me. The kids desreve both parents. Your right, it takes two to make them but it also takes 2 to be the parents too. If one of the parents are doing drugs etc.. then there needs to be a court stipulation, not one dictated by the other parent. No, the kids should never be around drugs etc. and the courts will make sure that is is all taken care of legally.
2006-06-12 01:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by Wilma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in cases involving the custodial parent being hurt by the other parent. As parents we should pay our dues, see our kids, try to get along. Respect the other one no matter how hard you have to bite your tongue. Kids learn from example. If one parents struggle more even if they cheated/trouble with the law/drug user/anything, explain it like its not the child's fault.Let them know daddy/mommy is going through some things. Because your child will learn the truth someday, and if you were there they will have the respect that you put forth first.
2006-06-12 02:30:34 · answer #4 · answered by robsbc2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you assume both parents have an active roll in the childs life, where as i agree that there should be no name calling, but either parent that has no involvement in the childs life should be put in jail for not paying, why should the child suffer...in a perfect would your situation would work, but do you really think that a abuser that does drugs needs to have visitation rights, or the person who walks out and leaves the family that doesn't want vistiation
2006-06-12 01:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by sassymaccat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see your point. We are however required to care for our young until adulthood period.
I am one of those fathers that doesn't live with his kids.I agree that the adults get to set the standard(respect). When work was bad for me,i kept my kids while their mom worked and searched for work after wards. I adjust my schedule so that she can go out with the girls or on a date. It does wonders to create an atmosphere of mutual respect and cooperation.All involved win this way. Peace.
2006-06-12 02:02:13 · answer #6 · answered by wildrover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. How about a married man who lied, has never seen son and only pays min. if that, yet still maried! Like, making payments will make it go away
2006-06-12 01:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by cmf242004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋