I have just eaten TWO...?!!!?

Question

bars of my friends posh chocolate. Whats a good excuse/lie/cover up to tell her? Anyone who says blame the dog will get a poke in the eye...originality is of utmost impotance as she has an in built bullsh#t detector

Only answers which are overtly entertaining and humourous pls! Lectures on moral conduct will be laughed at and ridiculed. I thank you:)

Answer 1

did you eat my chocolate?
what chocolate?
dont play dumb, the one I left here!
I didnt see any,
I dont beleive it! Do you know how expensive it was? You should know I'd get mad if you took it!
oh...that chocolate, I knew you'd get mad so i decided to swallow it was the next best thing.
arrgghhh!

bang bang bang!

ahhhhhhhhhh!

'....and evn though you are at the pearly gates you still dont feel any remorse for having eaten the two bars?'
'a little, i didnt expect her to shoot me.'
'i see.'
'I'm sorry though, not that it counts now, i really wanted the chocolate and I guess i just gave in to temptation.'
'well you've come this far son, lets now go to the screen before we decide heaven or uh um hell, lights please!'

tran tran tran traaaan!

sniff sniff!
I'm so sorry, i didnt mean to shoot you, it was so stupid if i could turn back time I'd let you have the whole bar! for pits sake come back come back our friendship is worth more than 1000000 chocolate bars!

Answer 2

*giggles* tell her it was just the strangest thing! there you were, sitting there all by your lonesome, when all of a sudden, you heard a strange noise. startled, you walked up to the source of the noise (which, by the way, should be the refrigerator) and opened the door. there, to your great surprise, was a small blob of purple staring at you. you gasped and jumped backwards and the creature looked at you and said "give me chocolate, or I shall steal your eternal soul!!" so, naturally, you gave the blob the best chocolate in the house. tell her it was either the chocolate, or your soul, and if she really loved you, she'd understand.

Answer 3

Chocolate is not good for dogs. Tell her the truth. Then expect to pay her, or replace them, if she makes the request. Since you ate without asking, that's the least you can do.

Answer 4

Wow, does she really make that big of a deal over some stupid chocolate? That's kinda sad. Maybe you should find some better friends who have better things to do other than getting mad over some candy.

Answer 5

Hmmmm... A good lie...

Deny everything... Were the bars actually there??? Did your friend not miscount them??? Tell them they must be going mad to be able to see extra bars... They need to get off the chocolate for a while, it is affecting their mind...

Answer 6

Tell her you saw the most enormous RAT run off with them she'll be so worried about such a large rat she wont even think about anything else,oh also put a band aid on two of your fingers and tell her you got bit trying to save her chocolates.then push your bottom lip out and pout.Good luck.

Answer 7

Tell her you were thinking of applying for a job as a chocolate taster and needed to test your taste buds to see if you could tell the difference.

Answer 8

tell her an elderly lady with diabetes collapsed in the street, you recognise the symptoms straight away and rush to her aid taking her posh chocolate with you, you dont want to give it to her but what choice did you have. youre in the **** mate

Answer 9

like tell her adolf hiler came in and stole it while on a big over sized mount (griffin) he was also accompanied by darth vader who used the force on u so u cudnt move to get the chocolate back!! that believable? :P

Answer 10

tell her the queen popped in for a cup of tea and you couldnt just offer her any old choc so you had to use her posh chocs, sure she will belive that