My now Ex-husband left me on Jan. 21 of this year, my Divorce became final on May 8, of this year. I loved this man dearly, but because he had hurt me so much in the past( use to be vary abusive, and controlling....and is an alcoholic,drug abuser...oh, and had left me several times before) I didn't take him back when he asked me to back in March. Now I regret that decision some, because I really loved this man, and had never planed on getting a divorce ( I didn't even have a lawyer, he filed). Now I am divorced, and trying to start over again (I have even met some one)but I worrie that I may not be over my Ex completly yet, I just need to know if the pain of losing him will go away soon, if I will stop crying ever time I think of him, and our life together. Please I need some help I don't want to mess up my new relationship ( this guy is a great guy, and I can see a future with him), but first I have to let go of my past, I know. Thanks for any help.
2006-06-11 17:06:41 · 10 answers · asked by brandy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, look, I know this is hard. I mean, it sounds like you're truly suffering. BUT, it is true what they say, "Time heals all wounds." Give it time.
But, for immediate help. Try this.
NO CONTACT FOR 30 DAYS. Do not call him. Do not write him. Do not email him. Do not drive by his place. Do not talk to his friends or relatives. Do not make any sort of contact with him for a FULL 30 DAYS.
Trust me. This is what I do when I go through a break up. The 30 days is a goal. Once you make it through those 30 days you feel like you've made some sort of progress. It works.
As for the general heart ache and pain. You just have to go through it. Life hurts sometimes. We all have pain.
Good luck.
Oh and before you do the 30 days thing, you might mention it to him. Hopefully he'll understand. If you guys both stick to it it'll be easier on both parties.
Splooch!
2006-06-11 17:17:14 · answer #1 · answered by pineappleuncle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did the Right thing By Leaving Him, There is So many Women who Don't Leave an Abusive relationship, and End Up died...
You Need to Just stay strong, and don't run this New Guy away if you think there Could be something there... But it will take Time for that pain to Go Away And Someday it will...But you Can't Let it take away your Future happiness...Hope this Helps...
2006-06-11 17:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Hope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to grieve and then move on, life is too short to want someone who will abuse you and rob you of your life, you deserve more,you mentioned that he had left you several times, how long can you put up with someone like that.
Try and put the past with this guy behind you and move on,maybe the new guy you met will understand if you need more time.
People who go through divorces don't realize that there is a grief period that they must go through, it was part of a life you shared with someone and the feelings don't go away over night.
2006-06-11 17:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by brown.gloria@yahoo.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you go back to your ex? are you crazy? Do you really enjoy getting beat up? I really do love my husband alot too, but if he left me for another girl, and then decides that he wants me back, i would never go back to him, no matter how much i love him, and cry for him. I would pass that moment of sorrow, slowly, and painfully, but i know in time i would be happy.
2006-06-11 17:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by lola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will get over him. You need time to cry and get mad about everything. It is hard to let go sometimes. You need to feel good about the choice you made in your life.
2006-06-11 17:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by cawhiteak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice saying, I have already let go of my past. Say that for 30 days.
After 30 days, you will have hapiness and freedom of love.
2006-06-11 18:05:27 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need more time to get over him, so you wouldn't be having mixed feelings u would know for sure what your feelings are.
2006-06-11 17:25:18 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not been long enough to be "in the past." Show him love by praying for him but not by staying for him.
2006-06-11 17:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by chdoctor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time. This too shall pass.
2006-06-11 17:36:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont we all i know the feeling belive me on this .
2006-06-11 17:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋