why does my family always tease me about my weight??

Question

Im either too fat or too skinny for them
im 5'4 & 120 lbs and just like most girls im worried about my appearance. & it makes me feel like $hit when my parents, grand parents & even aunts and uncles say stuff about my weight.

A few years ago I was slightly over weight & they would always say things to me like "chubby" or "heavy" even if they said they were just joking it hurt my feelings. Now that I've lost almost 15 lbs (not 4 them but 4 myself), they keep saying i am too skinny & need to eat more. I really hate it when my aunts laugh at me & say stuff like "ur not fat...just a lil on the heavy side.". is 120 lbs really heavy?? my BF doesnt think so. hes the only one that ever said he likes me just the way i am.

i wish my family would shut up.My mom would even embarass me in public in front of my friends & shout @ me & say i better eat bcuz i am too skinny. its really frustrating 4 me. its not like i dont eat! i love 2 eat. she just doesnt see me doing it bcuz shes alwys @ work

please, no mean comments. i feel bad enough

Answer 1

It is hard to say why people do the things they do but I can speak from experience and from my medical & counseling training. Your family is doing it for the same reasons you do some things.....they dont' think about it from your point of view.

** Parents are from an era when eating hearty meals was our way of life. Skinny didn't look good and If we had skinny children we as parents failed to adequately feed them. We wer then thought of as a poor family. We feel comforted when our children eat. It makes us feel ike we have done our job. However, most parents aren't always up on the latest events. The increasing obesity is killing our children. They are eating snacks and pop at an alarming rate causing "muffin tops" at an early age which can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle including early diabetes and high blood pressure and other complications. you don't want that fat to hang on your organs as you age. You seemed to have thinned out a little.

** You sound beautiful*** That is great well within the BMI index and looks healthy as well.
You have to be happy with you, and it is great you found someone who loves you for your current appearance and one I think you are happy with. You need to worry more about changing hair styles and piercings than making your family happy about your body. They should worry about there own health first.
I would simply tell your mom you will eat when you are hungry and you appreciate her concern but to please not talk about your weight or eating habits anymore. Trying to understand why people act or say things is truly a maturity issue. If you can see it as your mom having concern for you, then you are well on your way to growing up nicely.


Good Luck!

Answer 2

I don't know why either...I have been teased about my weight and criticized about it as well. They may not realize how it makes you feel down deep inside. It is totally disrespectful. I have always tried to live by the motto: If you can't say something nice about some one then don't say anything at all.

Is there a solution to your problem? I think sometimes there isn't. Trying to talk about it with family seldom works and they give you nice lip service but continue on. The phrase that always made me feel bad was, "Fatty Daddy" that my 1st wife started and my daughter pick-up on and said to me all the time. Thank goodness my daughter has stopped calling me that...she is now 39 yrs old and I love her very much.

Answer 3

That is not heavy at all. Do not starve your self or one day you are going to gain weight simpler while you stop. Are attempting explaining to them the best way you consider and if your mothers and fathers are the ones calling you an elephant then they're horrible for doing that to their baby. It's emotional abuse pure and easy, i would talk to my institution counselor if I had been you. What they're doing to you is mistaken and mean. I would on no account name my child a reputation like that even if they have been weighed 200 pounds. If you do not need to speak to your counselor then i might advise discovering any one to talk to considering the fact that you may enhance low self-esteem because of the consistent teasing, for those who should not have it already.

Answer 4

have you ever told them how hurtful their words are to you ? They may be clueless about what it's doing to you.. if they do know & still do it.. remember your b/f loves you just as you are...which is very healthy for you to hear...
I have the same problem.. one day I saw a bumper stick that read " I may be fat... but you're ugly & I can diet" I said that a few times to them... most got the picture.. the ones who didn't I decided to look at their negative features.. then everytime they said something.. I'd remind myself they were not perect either.. Now I could careless what they say & they are slowly stopping..
I too have a b/f who loves me just as I am..actually was worried when he saw I had lost 20 lbs ( he's in Afghanistan & can only contact me once in a while..Army medic,been thre 26 months now)....I focus on how he feels about me & ignore the snide remarks as I put 10 lbs. back on.. people who are not happy with their lives tend to point out what they can to bring others down to their level....
You can also do what my 10 year old son told me to do....when they start just go "la,la,la,la,la,la" to a song in your head....it actually worked one several occasions when they all decided to get on me about loosing so much weight...lol...they realised I wasn;t paying attention & one by one stopped... then when they all got really quiet.. I calmly said "what were you all saying ? I wasn't paying attention to what you were saying,it sounded like you were being mean to some one?" No answer at all...
Jealousy is a very evil & hurtful thing.. yet when you don't care what their problem with you is... it tends to fall on deaf ears & most will stop...

Answer 5

First of all, look at the people that say these things to you, are they over-weight ? Maybe they are jealous, cause you look so good...maybe they think you wont fit in with the rest of the family. As long as you are healthy, that is all that matters. Overweight people are more likely to experience health problems. The next time someone says "You should eat something, you look skinny", ask them if they want you to be fat and disgusting like them ??? Then laugh your *** off....

Answer 6

That's horrible. I completely understand how that makes you feel, my family did the same thing to me when I was younger. Not my parents, thank God, but my grandparents and extended family. Best thing is to sit down with your parents - or any other family members you trust - and tell them to knock it off and how it makes you feel. Try not to get angry or upset, but just be honest. For me, it was my aunt that would stand up to my grandparents and tell them how they were making me feel. It didn't stop them, but it did slow down the comments and it made me feel great that she was willing to do that.

What you need to remember is that they do love you and they probably don't realize how they're making you feel. If telling them doesn't work, then just keep pointing out that they're doing it and remind them about what you talked about. Hopefully they'll not only get the message, they'll pass it along.

Good luck!

Answer 7

One approach would be to take your mom aside and speak to her privately and honestly about your feelings. Don't let her brush you off either. Tell her that despite her true intentions, what she says hurts you, and what the other relatives say bothers you a lot as well. Stay calm and don't get angry.

If a relative says something that bothers you, you could simply respond by telling them you find their comments very rude and would much prefer if they kept them to themselves.

Answer 8

Sounds like they might just have a habit of it going now. It's become a sort of "ism" for them to tease you about it or worry about it. Stand up for yourself and tell them you're really tired of it and that it bothers you more than they realize. Hopefully they'll let up on you about it. Good Luck.

Answer 9

try being 17, 5' 4 1/2" at 155. now that's something to worry about. i'll stay where you are. otherwise you'll be too skinny. my goal is 125.

Answer 10

It's the way they cope with your getting knocked up at 18. Show a little more honor for your family name and they'll stop.