This is a really hard situation to talk about.?

Question

I have been in love with the same man for 20 years. We are married w/3 children. I have found out that he is really into porn. I am really hurt because I am a very sexual person and have always really been very intense when it comes to the bedroom. I am so devestated that he and I could not be close enough to have no secrets. I don't know what I'm exactly asking; maybe just a little advice?

Answer 1

i dont think it is the porn that you are upset about, i think that it is the fact that he kept it from you. Explain to him that he doesnt need to keep anything from you no matter what it is. You will support him and stick by him that is why you married him.

Answer 2

I think that just because someone is into porn, that doesnt mean taht they are cheaters or dont want you or that you arent sufficient. Sometimes its like being into Football. Men fantasize that we can play but if we are too practical to actually try to REALLY play NFL football. Hope that is a good analogy for u.

Answer 3

Do you think the porn is affecting your sex life? If so, then I can see why you're hurt. If not, it may be enhancing it. It might be a more harmless way for him to think about some of his fantasies. I think you should talk to him about each of your fantasies and the possibility of acting some of them out.

Answer 4

I don't think that men really understand just how insulting that is to a woman and how hurt it makes them. The men just think about looking at naked women. Women view it as they aren't good enough, or sensual enough for their man.
You are right there shouldn't be any secrets and he should not do it if it hurts you.

Answer 5

Have you tried to get into it with him? You're very active even after 20 years then it must be doing something to keep things interesting.

Answer 6

Girl, all guys are into porn, so don't feel devastated, besides, if they weren't into porn, then something must be wrong with them.