Why do some people think it's perfectly acceptable to treat service staff with total disrespect?

Question

My family and I dine out frequently, and it's not escaped our notice that hard-working waiters and waitresses have to deal with not only the stress of a very fast-paced job that requires phenomenal multi-tasking, but they have to put up with more abuse in a night than most of us would put up with in a month! We've also noticed that some "groups" have not yet mastered the custom of tipping for proper service. Why can't these cretins just eat at the fast food places they can afford rather than subject servers and other diners to their obvious ignorance, and why do these servers have to be subjected to the base behaviors of the bottom feeders of this country? I did this type of work in college, and I just don't remember having to endure this to this degree.

I admit that I allowed my anger to get the best of me when resulting ot name-calling, and apologize to those who are justifiably offended. I meant to bash the behavior, not ANY race or national origin. I stand humbly corrected in this regard, and thank you all for every insightful responses.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, there's a little something in all of us (some people are better at controlling it than others) that feels insecure and only feels superior when it can incite us to put down people who are "inferior" - it can happen based on race, sex, ethnicity, but when many of these bases for discrimination are made illegal or taboo, the next place to go is to people you "outrank." They're easy targets because they tend not to have the resources to fight back. Robert Fuller recently coined the term "rankism" to describe this noxious behavior.

P.S. You're, ahem, engaging in the same kind of rankism when you call those ill-behaved customers "cretins" and "bottom-feeders." Give respect (at least the bare minimum) and you get respect.

Answer 2

It is a shame how some people treat people who serve them. My wife was a restaurant manager for 3 years and most people wouldn't believe the stories she has. Some people just donot respect others and sadly there isn't much the rest of us can do about it. On top of that there is the whole tipping thing, which most people who donot work in the industry understand, like the fact that you are taxes on 10% of your sales, even if you donot get a tip, from an inconsiderate guest. So this person didn't just not leave a tip, this person actually cost the waiter to pay the government for money he/she never received.

Your manager should always be on your side though, and they should understand situations, so when confronted by these situation get your manager's help. If your manager isn't on your side, then find a new restaurant where they are!

Answer 3

Its too bad that the answer is as simple as this, but people are jerks. And they are cheap. They like to get something for nothing, and unfortunately the society we live in rewards people that are rude. If a customer is rude and complains, they are more likely to get something for free. It benefits them to be an a$$. Any type of retail or restaurant business has to deal with these customers.

I can't understand why people don't tip enough. My cousin is a waitress and I know that she depends on tips so whenever I go out I make sure we leave a decent tip. I know if you have a large number of people (sometimes 8 or more) the gratuity is added to the bill. Maybe restaurants should include a minimum tip on all the bills and that way people could leave more if they wanted, but at least the wait staff would get something.

Answer 4

Having done this fype of work for over 24 years (by choice-it's good money, I am college educated) and now as a bar/restaurant owner, I think that often it is done just so they don't have to tip.
There are always those types who feel better when they beliitle others.( We are always happy to make their day.) I guess it's a self-esteem problem.

I just want to add this, it is a line from a movie, I wish I could remember which one, a couple are on their first date and the man is very polite to his server...she notices and says "you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat the people who who serve them."

Answer 5

I agree with you...so many people are now so demanding and disrespectful of those who are trying to serve them. I think much of it is because many people do not have time in their busy lives to be...well...people. they conduct business everywhere in public and are often so stressed out it is unbelievable.

I almost never complain about something in a restaurant or anywhere else. Service staff try to serve even when they aren't feeling well for one reason or another. Often what happens is of no fault of their own.

I have always tried to make another person smile or laugh while serving my wife and I. Sometimes it changes the person's domineer and they have a few minutes of less stress. I have found I get better service too.

Disrespectful people need to stop and smell a few roses sometime...their lives would be much better and happier and so would the service staff person's!

Answer 6

some people always treat their subordinates with disrespect. The reason why is because they believe themselves to be superior and will not accept any mistakes. If they find anything wrong they will bite the head off of the first person they see. My last boss was like this. Most often, people who behave this way have either lived priveliged lives or they have an insecurity and the best way they can improve their self image is to make others feel inferior.

Answer 7

U know what we do? we stand up for the waitstaff. If we the customers don't then the waitstaff could get canned. I was visting this one place ( well known in the Midwest ) and these people were rude the lady waitress, not that age matters here, the waitress was probably over 40. She gave the guy a dry martini instead of something else, he took it and said " I am not drinking this crap and poured it on her. We and everyone around were outraged. I got up and went over to the guy and took water and spilled it in his lap, and asked him to leave before the authorities were called. I know it wasn't good to do this to him, but how dare him. He left and later sued the restuarant. Of course he lost. People like this are obviously rude in everything they do.

Answer 8

Some people were obviously not brought up correctly by their parents. Such lack of politeness is merely the flag of ignorance.

Anyone that treats with disrespect someone who is serving them-- is a total boor. There is MUCH honour in respectable work, no matter how menial it is.

The ignorant ones could learn MUCH from wait staff---who are usually very polite, friendly, informative, helpful, hard working and decent people, HOWEVER, the 'cretins' are too self-important, cheap, arrogant and prideful to recognize that humans working for them are people too, and as such deserve to be treated decently and fairly, even IF they are 'wait staff'.

Answer 9

Because they are completely inconsiderate of other peoples feelings. Some people look at waiters/waitresses as lower beings. If they think about it, these people are either doing the best that they can to support their families or they do it because they like helping people. If it weren't for waiters/waitresses, they'd have to get their own damn food!

Answer 10

People like that - they just don't treat waiters / waitresses like that, they treat EVERYONE like that! for some reason those kinda people feel they are owed something by any and everyone. Not only that , if pressed they will try and justify that kind of behaviour. What they all need is a good ol' fashioned *ss whoopin!