what is the funniest joke you know?

Answer 1

This question! Isn't it under mathmatics? LOL!

Answer 2

ok, well this is asked in the math section, so ill try a math joke

so a mathematician, a physicist, and a biologist are sitting on a bench watching a house. 2 people walk into the house and a little while later 3 people leave the house. The biologist says that the 2 people reproduced, the physicist says that there was an error with significant figures and the mathematician claims that 1 person has to enter the house for it to be empty again.

HAHA, laugh its funny for math people
matttlocke

Answer 3

Ok so my freind was visiting his uncle in the insane asylum. his room was at the end of the hall so he had to pass allot of crazy people up to get to him. this one guy he passes repeatedly says 16 16 16 16. so after visting his uncle he stops by this guys door and asked him why do you keep saying 16 over and over again? Immediatley the guy POKED him in the eye and said 17 17 17.
I have one more........
So my friend after getting poked in the eye says to one of the doctors how do you determine if one is insane or not? so the doctor brought him back into a little room and said here is our test. there was bath tub full of water. the doctor said, you have a spoon, a teapot, and a bucket how do plan to empty the tub? S o my friend said he would use the bucket. then the doctor said Actually you just pull the plug... Do you prefer a room with a window?
why did the chicken cross the road...........to get to the other side
thank you ill be here all week

Answer 4

Martha, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Martha's house... and walked home...and left it there all night...!

You gotta love Henry ...!!

Answer 5

So there's this Guy and his wife and two kids and they go too a talent agency to put on a show. When they get there the talent agent asks them to perform their show for him. So they do exactly that. First, the wife stands on top of her husband's shoulders, then her two kids climb up on top of her shoulders. Suddenly the two kids rip off their pants and just start pissing all over their parents. As they're doing this the mom begins to gurgle their piss, while she's doing this the father whips out his co** and begins to jerk himself off. Now as all this is happening three midgets come out and begin to c** all over the father the mother and the two kids, even the talent agent gets some on him. The talent agent is so shocked he doesn't know what to do so he says "what do you call your sh......." but before he can finish his sentence the wife just starts shitting all over her husbands face. The talent agent, who can't handle any more of this finally says "and what exactly do you call your show?" Just as he finishes his sentence the mother stops shitting the kids stop pissing and the midgets stop cumming. The father reaches up and wipes the *** and the piss and the **** off his face looks at the talent agent and says with boldness and an air of grandiosity "....The Aristocrats!"

Answer 6

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The balding man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying them all.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer."

Answer 7

Does 1+1 = 2? This is the maths section anyway.

Answer 8

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Answer 9

It's a weird law from some weird country:

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Well....Duh! Why the hell would you do /that/? You're trying to flick the booger /away/, you're not trying to blow it back up into your nose!

Lol that's actually not the funniest. I don't know to tell you the truth.

Answer 10

Sorry, this is probably the oldest joke in the world:

"A horse walked in to a bar, and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"

Answer 11

There is this family. The father is named "Shut Up" the mother is named "None of Your Business" and the child's name is "Trouble". One day Trouble runs away from home and his parents go out looking for him. While driving the father is speeding down the road and gets pulled over by a cop. The officer asks the father his name and he says, "Shut up!" so then he asks the mother her name and she says, "None of your business" and so the cop gets really enraged and asks, "Are you looking for trouble?" and the parents in unison say, "Yes! We cant find him! Can you help?"