My boyfriend is living with his ex-wife. He has 2 kids with her and says he cannot leave because she could not pay the bills alone. I
moved in a few weeks ago but I think that this situation is weird and I don't know how much longer I can even deal with it? We have a child together as well. It feels really wrong and weird to have to see him interact with someone he has been intimate with on a daily basis. The worst is that my child has grown really attached to her. Is it just me? Should I just leave them be and find someone else altogether?
2006-06-11 14:43:53 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He needs to make a decision.
Sounds like a loser to me.
2006-06-11 14:47:14 · answer #1 · answered by J W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to be the judge of the "OKness" of the situation. I think, however, that in your place the only way it would be OK for me, would be if I were bi-sexual and sleeping between them in the bed. Does the wife know of this? Do you honestly have all the facts yourself?
Most likely he's just a silver-tounged b a s t a r d and you've just been foolish enough to let him burn the candle at both ends. Sounds like a situation an intelligent person would immediately get the hell out of. Good luck.
2006-06-11 21:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by rajjpuut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your bf about how you are feeling. It's perfectly natural for you to be feeling the way you do. While it's nice that he is looking out for his kids and being sensitive to the fact his wife could not afford to live on her own, he has to make some choices. Perhaps he could add on to the house or make an apartment over the garage for his ex to live in - something to that effect if you are ok with it. Either that or he is going to have to talk to his ex about her moving out and getting her own place while he keeps the kids in the house.
You are in a tough situation, but if you can't deal with living under the same roof as his ex then you need to talk to him about it and let him know how you are feeling.
2006-06-11 21:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, think you are caught in a triangular relationship with a guy who is not willing to be with you for good. Seems wierd that you moved to stay with them too.
Do you have your own place to stay?
If he only wants to help her pay her bills, he can do so without staying with her. So, this should have set off some alarms for you.
So the issue really do you 2 love each other truly? Is he willing to stay with you instead of his ex? Are you willing to let him stay with her? Are you willing to leave him? What about your child? Who will look after your child?
Seems like your relationship with him is not that stable. Probably it can be better if you can start all over without him.
However all things said, you do need to consider your option as to what you want for your future. Talk to him about it, about your likes and dislikes and have a resolution suitable for you both. If not, going separate ways will be best.
2006-06-11 21:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by peanutz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got yourself into a situation before you really considered the consequences of your actions. Did your boyfriend live with his wife still when you met him? That right there should have been your signal to leave him be.
You have a child together so you owe it to the child to make an effort to make the situation work unless your boyfriend is absuive in anyway.
Deal with it...you dug your grave so you have to lay in it!
2006-06-11 21:48:38 · answer #5 · answered by skattered0077 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a totally bizarre situation. Your boyfriend should move out of his ex-wife's place. If he is really concerned about her paying the bills, he'll see a lawyer and the two of them will set up child or spousal support payments. You should definitely not be living with them, especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Tell your guy that you need to move out, and explain to him how it makes you feel that he lives with his ex, and that you want him to move out of that house or in with you instead. I can't tell you to give him an ultimatum, especially since you have a kid, but if I were you I would tell him he can either move in with you or not, but that you can't see him anymore while he lives with her. I obviously don't know why he wouldn't move out, but it is definitely fishy. Follow your instincts and get your own place!
2006-06-11 21:53:22 · answer #6 · answered by cay_damay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously they have an understanding or you wouldnt be there. If everyone is ok with it and comfortable, then weird doesnt matter. Its all in what works for all of you. Dont let society tell you what is right for you or your family, or relationship. But it does sound like you have a problem with it. So why did you move in?
2006-06-11 21:49:09 · answer #7 · answered by Xena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, miss naive. it may be very wise of to get out of that mess right now. prolonging this situation is only going to hurt you and your child. take it from an older person, this is not good. remember there are alot of fish in the sea, so dont settle for a bottom feeder. good luck p.s. think of your child first and always.
2006-06-11 21:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by twoshoe49 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to confront your b/f & let him know how you feel about things around there if he wants to continue on living there with his ex so be it. it looks like he has made his choice to me if i was you take your child & leave from there & never look back he did you wrong he still loves his ex what an *** wipe i feel for you thats why i often call guys pigs just because they are.
2006-06-11 21:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by lil_bit_nv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes leave fast as you can!!! how can you trust this guy? he is just wanting his cake and eat it to. seems like he is pretty much getting it to. men take care of there children threw a thing called child support and not live with them. i am a single mom with 3 girls and i do ok on my own. sounds like a excuse on his part. leave!! i dont see how you can live there with them knowing what you do. LEAVE FAST!!!!!!
2006-06-11 21:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by countryrose24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not weird if he supports his kids. but it;s weird that all of you living under the same roof. You bf is enjoying the best of both worlds. It's time to get out of the relationship and move on!!
2006-06-11 21:46:38 · answer #11 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋