My husband of 6 months has lied to me, I learned today, about his schooling in college. We were together for 4 years prior to marriage, and I learned today via an old school document that he took a leave of absence in college during our 2nd year together. He never told me about this, and in fact, he covered it up very well. I confronted him today via phone as he's out of town, and I'm very upset. He says he'll tell me everything, but he was embarassed and depressed during that time period...so, he just left that whole info out. Now, we're married and I'm frustrated and sad. What do I do? I want to believe that he won't lie like this again...but I'm worried. What do I do?
2006-06-11 14:32:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When he comes back in town, I would listen to him and see exactly what he has to say. I can see how it is embarrassing to him and like you said, he might have been suffering from some depression which made him not be able to study so well in school. I would be supportive during this and let him know that you value what happens to him. Let him know that you don't want any more secrets between the two of you. There are worse things you could be more upset about, an addiction like drugs, or he could be cheating on you. Stand by him and let him know how it hurt you, but you are still there for him. Good luck.
2006-06-11 14:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by camping_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be to down in the dumps. Your husband was most like very embarrassed about the matter and wished to forget the whole thing. It's not seen as a manly thing to get depressed and not be able to cope with life. If he is willing to tell you everything, good. Just ask him is there anything else that he hasn't told you. You would want to know what caused his depression and if he has successfully dealt with that issue. Would you have married him if you had know this before hand? Let him know that he needs to be open with you about everything because you don't want a marriage with secrets and lies.
2006-06-11 21:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't over react about this - it's not as if he had a secret wife he hid from you or something like that. This happened years ago before you were married and for whatever reasons he didn't tell you about it. The important thing is that you confronted him and he is going to explain himself to you.
Try to be understanding and really listen to him - don't judge him. Let him know how secrets make you feel and tell him that in the future you would rather him be honest with you about everything no matter what.
2006-06-11 21:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no use crying over spilt milk...you can't change the past though you still have now and the future which you must strive in makeing good.
Don't worry much about that incident. Moreover he has said that he's going to tell you everything about that incident, so chill.
The bottom line is that you should not let some irrelevant matter jeopardize your present and / or future.
Hope you'll decide rationally and move accordingly.
All the best.
2006-06-11 21:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by chlschr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let him come home and tell you the whole story before you blow all of this out of proportion. Wow, if we could all have a simple problem like this in our life. This is nothing compared to what others have to deal with. Sorry, don't mean to make your question sound unimportant, but just in reading some of the questions on here.............. abuse, physical and mental, people loosing their homes, on and on and on. Don't' worry so much about the little stuff. Give him a chance to explain, then if the reason upsets you that much, deal with it with him.
2006-06-12 00:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if its something like that small, ppl have reasons for doing that, it could be he was extremely stressed from school and needed just a little break from school. it could also be family problems. if he was embarrassed then there is a simple and reasonable explanation. you must learn to trust him, not everything is meant to be told. now if he was running around on you then i would be pissed. but just because of lying about school i wouldn't be to concerned, its best to talk things out and not jump to any conclusions. its always best to listen and be there for each other, I'm sure you have secrets you dint want him to find out about, its like that with just about every marriage, i should know I've been married to mine for 10 yrs.
2006-06-11 21:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by ladyrebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shittt. get ready for Lie's all the time. at least it wasn't some girl he was banging and had to leave for that. might be something he is upset about and wants to keep it to himself. give the man a break it was before you two were married. doesn't count then.
2006-06-11 21:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to his side of the story first, then make your mind up then about what you should do either stay or go, because now there is no children envoled at this point. if you love him it will work out, but most of all pray about it, & listen to god.
2006-06-11 21:39:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to stop worrying until you hear what he has to say. His explanation may calm all your worries.
2006-06-11 21:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lady... I feel sorry for this guy. You need to lighten up.
2006-06-11 21:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by gcbtrading 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋