i love him with all my heart. everyone already thinks we are maried. he introduces me as his wife. this means so much to me. am i wrong to be hurt? i have a hall booked, a dress, a dj, and my mom has made cookies and things and froze them. the wedding is supposed to be in september. how do i call everyone and tell them ive basically been stood up at the alter? and how do i go on living like the married dutiful wife if im not in my mind and soul?my heart is broken, i want to say marry me or go, but what if he does?
2006-06-11 13:47:51 · 13 answers · asked by donniesgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
did i mention we have three kids and they love their daddy very much. i know you all are right but i love him so much, what would i di without him?
2006-06-11 14:13:22 · update #1
For god's sake, woman, dump him and move on. For all those girls who I've been telling, "confidence - the strength to be on your own and to make your own self happy by yourself - is the single most attractive trait you can have," here is a very clear lesson about what happens to you when you don't have it. I'm sorry for your situation, and now is your opportunity to change it.
Dump him today. Find a new place to live and get out, NOW.
2006-06-11 13:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by jackmack65 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take it from the voice of experience, if he has not married in ten years, he is not going to, for whatever reason. He probably doesn't even know why.
Love is great but this is abuse. I don't understand how you can allow him to treat you like this and you would stay with him? Dear girl, you need to get some self respect. He is a total loser. You won't admit it now, but if you force him to marry you, he will make your life miserable.
Try this, I will guarantee you that this will happen. Tell him O.K. You give up and the wedding is off. You are going to move out and get on with your life. If he hasn't married by now, he never will and then really leave him. Or kick him out, which would be better yet.......My guarantee is if he thinks you are serious, he will do one of two things. He will beg you to stay and tell you how much he loves you and just be patient with him, he will try and change for you. OR, he will let you leave (or he leaves) and within a week you will get a phone call from him. He will tell you he is an idiot and he didn't know what the hell he was thinking and will you give him one more chance to prove how much he loves you? WANNA BET ME??!!
Of course, you love him and you will go back or take him back. Then you will start all over again. He still won't marry you but you will be back together and all he needs is time.........BULL !!!!!!!!!
Give it up and go find a guy that appreciates you...............This guy will break your heart over and over....
2006-06-11 14:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you've already given this guy 10 years of your life. You want to be married. He clearly does not. I know it would be painful to end this relationship. But you're never going to get this guy to the altar. He sounds like he has it made without putting a ring on your finger. You're his wife in almost every way already. As the old saying goes "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" It's long past time for an ultimatum. At this juncture, I wonder why you still want to marry this guy. I'd skip the ultimatum and move on, fast! The sooner you end this sham of a relationship, the sooner you can start mending your broken heart. Yes, it's embarrassing, but better a little embarrassment now than a divorce later. It may not seem like it now, but you will meet some wonderful guy who deserves you. You are way too good for the guy you're with now. You are a gem. Let God be your guide. He'll show you the right guy at the right time. God bless!
2006-06-11 13:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Honey, I'm going to tell you something now that you already know in your heart is true. He is not worth it! He has basically left you to deal with all the embarrassing little details of this situation dear, and believe me, if he will do it to you now, he will do it over and over again in other situations throughout the relationship! You deserve better than that, believe that girl! You are young, don't allow that SOB to steal that away from you, please. If you can't tell already, then I will say, that I am speaking from experience. I married my husband at 16. He was 18. We were married for almost 32 yrs. It shouldn't have lasted more than ten. I can't blame it all on him because i'm the big dummy who stayed! I just kept hoping and believing he would change, NOT!! Now my divorce will be final on June 23, 2006 and I will be single for the first time in my life! Good Lord!! I don't know the first thing about being single! BUT, I gotta tell ya, I'm looking forward to finding out! Don't do what I did Honey, please give yourself a chance to have a happy and fullfilling life with someone who deserves you, He's out there, you just gotta be watching! Let him go girl, he's already left you, in his heart and in every other way as well. Good Luck Dear! Terry (female)
2006-06-11 14:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by maudiemelvirda@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even after 10 years, if he is refusing to marry you, he must not think too much about your feelings. Perhaps you've been blind to certain personality traits all this time. Yes, if you feel this strongly, it's time to tell him to put up or hit the road. You deserve some consideration just as he does.
Also, you need to check the laws in your state. Most states have a "common law" marriage law. Where I live, two years of living together as man and wife (signing a lease, being introduced as a wife, etc.) is considered married in the eyes of the law, with all the benefits thereof.
2006-06-11 13:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by PuterPrsn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is his reason for not wanting to get married? Do you live together? Why would you have 3 children with this guy and wait 10 years to get married? If you stay I wouldn't "play dutiful wife". You are just giving him what he wants. Like the saying goes "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Good luck.
2006-06-14 15:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by Valerie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he going to marry you, he already got you where he like you-his wife, I know your heart is broken and you love him, only he knows how he feel. most guys get nervous at the though of marriage, but get him to set a date or go your merry way. or you be in this same relationship not marriage 19 yrs from now.
2006-06-11 13:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by birdsdafly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't give him another second. 10 yrs and 3 kids and all you want is marriage come on thats nothing compared to the time dedication and child birth you've both been through.
2006-06-11 15:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask him and find out one way or the other. If he says no it's better to know it now than after you've married.
2006-06-11 13:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by Lotte T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is he saying no???? If he is not wanting marriage or commitment i would get out. He obviously wants you without a commitment or marriage. If he cannot or will not commit to you in marriage then leave him now!
2006-06-11 15:28:45 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋