My husband's sister is married with 5 kids. She worked full time their whole marriage till she got laid off a month ago. Her husband doesn't work and hasn't since I have known my husband (11 years). She cooks and cleans and he does nothing. Her oven has been broke for at least a year and he never attempts to fix it. She tries to make ends meet but sometimes needs to ask for help. He still does nothing to try to get a job to support his family. If he took care of the kids or took care of the house I wouldn't have a problem with it but he doesn't. I just feel bad for my nieces and nephews because they would have to go without if we didn't buy stuff for them. In any other situation my sister-in-law is a tough cookie but I don't know how she puts up with it. As a woman, what would you do in this situation? As a man, would you let your wife do everything while you watch boxing and sports all day every day?
2006-06-11 13:44:20 · 7 answers · asked by Matthew's Mom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This kind of situation doesn't happen overnight. It's a gradual thing. I'm sure your sister-in-law is aware of what a lazy slob she's married to. In the beginning she probably believed he would change, especially once they started having children. Now she knows he's not going to change but probably sees no way out of this mess. In the long run she could probably have a much happier and healthier life if she divorced him.
Has she asked for your help regarding her marriage? It's wonderful that you want to help her, but she may just simply not be ready for the scary changes divorcing him will bring. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what. No judging her. Just love her and her kids. Help when you can. Given time she may ask for your help in more constructive ways.
Anyone reading this may think they would never let themselves get into such a situation. Like I said, she didn't just wake up one day and this was her life. It happened gradually, subtly. Pray for her, her husband and her children. Ask God what He wants you to do for her. I know you'd like to give her husband a good swift kick in the a**! For all the good it would do.
2006-06-11 14:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your sister-in-law figures for the kids sake she will do whatever it takes to keep the kids father there if that is what you can call him since he makes no attemp to take care of his family. I can't really say what I would do but I do know there would be a point where I would have to say I am tired of dealing with it and tell him he has a choice to work or leave...
2006-06-11 20:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad, but how is this your problem? Its her life to choose what she'll do with it. Since shes the main bread winner if she was so over it she could just kick him out, since he doesn't do anything anyhow. I mean has she been calling you up protesting? If so, all you can do is tell her that she is the only one who can change her circumstances but to worry yourself sick about her is crazy. She keeps choosing to have this lazy excuse for a man's children, so how is she not to blame for more then her share of this mess? Honestly if she wanted out she'd find a way. He's not gonna go anywhere, he's got it made. If I were you I'd find something else to focus my energy on honestly. Good luck!
2006-06-11 21:08:44 · answer #3 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is a tough cookie with other things but then again maybe she just loves him so much she is happy with the way things are.....hmmmmm does she have a sister????? lol
2006-06-11 20:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by drdemento61 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love makes you do strange things. Love makes you blind. Don't worry, he won't stick around forever, one day she'll come home and he'll be gone. Just be there for her when it happens.
2006-06-11 20:55:58 · answer #5 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah..she needs to kick his (back end) to the curb, and tell him to come back only after he finds a J-O-B.
2006-06-11 20:53:43 · answer #6 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would try to make it work and tell him he need to help me. if that dont work i would leave. i dont want no sorry lazy man.
2006-06-11 20:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by caramel_sexy20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋