My friend's brother died about 5 years ago befor i even met my friend, but sometimes at school or something if people bring up death or something she gets all depressed and sad and i feed sad seeing her like that. Sometimes i wish that for a week or so she could have her brother back, or i wish that i could take her pain for a few weeks. WHen i met her a few years ago i was really young and i remember when i would blow out my b day candles i would wish for her to have her brother back. Is this like overly inviolved in my friends life, or is this normal for me to want to take my friends terrribe grief?
2006-06-11 13:15:54 · 28 answers · asked by ilikepies06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, it is not strange.
You are a goof riend, with a sensitive heart. Keep being a good friend to her.
2006-06-11 13:17:37 · answer #1 · answered by Who?Me? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a great person who cares for her friend so much. You have to remember that if you lost someone so dear to you, you would be in pain also. Just imagine having them come back again and leaving again. She would have to go through the same pain she went through before. You are doing the right thing to care for her so much. In time her pain will fade, but the memory will last forever. You just need to keep by her side, because she may be like this for a long time as it takes time for the pain to fade. God Bless!!
2006-06-11 13:42:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you sound like an amazing person, I wish I was lucky enough to have a friend like you, you should never ever change !!!
Secondly it is a tall burden for you to bare, understand that you will never be able to fill the void in your friends life but you can help her move on and that means building a foundation for your friend to start on.
It sounds like she is holding alot in and the best thing is for her to let it all out, talk about it if she is comfortable let her cry, you cry with her eat cookies whatever it takes.
I know that I always feel better after a good cry, let me know how you get on I have alot of experience with losing loved ones.
2006-06-11 13:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Caring about a friend is to want to help with their grief. But know that you can't help except to listen when she wants to talk about her brother - don't talk, don't comment, don't say things like "it will get better". Just listen and be there and encourage her to tell you about the good times and good memories she has. That will help. One of these days when you lose someone dear to you, you will understand that the grief never goes away, but it does become more distant and livable over time. She will always remember her brother, and she will always react to conversations of death and such, but it will get easier.
2006-06-11 13:19:34 · answer #4 · answered by PuterPrsn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal, and you are a very good friend. She is lucky to have you as her friend. Just be there for her, hopefully it will get alittle better. I know when you lose someone that close it is very difficult to think of much else. I know this because I lost my daughter almost a year ago. I still cry all the time. Bless you for being there. I will pray for the both of you.
2006-06-11 13:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, the loss of a sibling is traumatic. Obviously you are still yong enough to be in school, so your friend was very young when her brother died. Though you can not wish him back, it is wonderful that you are there for her.
Has she had grief counselin?, if not, you may want to suggest it to her, if she wants you could probably go with her.
Thank you for being a wonderful human.
2006-06-11 13:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really care about your friend. Have you told her any of this? It is all probably normal when you are very close to someone to want to take the pain away for them. Maybe you should go to grief counselling with your friend though.
2006-06-11 13:18:32 · answer #7 · answered by FASHIONISTAMOM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its completely normal. But instead of wishing for things that can't happen, spend that time and energy trying to help your friend in real ways, like talking to her about her brother and letting her share her feelings or just being there for her when she gets depressed.
2006-06-11 13:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by virgo82676 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not strange
You are a great friend, and wish for her to feel more better about her brother's death.
It's only been 5 years ago, and it takes time to get over something like that.
A great friend of mine died 9 years ago, and at times I still wish that he was still here.
In time, things will get better!
Shaunee
2006-06-11 13:21:32 · answer #9 · answered by shaunee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it may be that you are "over-empathizing" with your friend. It's good to be sensitive and aware of other people's pain, but there is a point where we can take on too much. I wish I knew how to tell you to turn that off, I'm sorry I don't know how!
2006-06-11 13:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are probably a good and kind person, and probably a care giver. But you need to be careful not to get so involved that you forget about your self. Her pain is normal and she needs to experience the pain and grief to mind. Just be there for her.
2006-06-11 13:19:00 · answer #11 · answered by annie red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋