freedom back, like going where I want when I want with out having to give an explanation of every damn detail!
I have ben married for about 4 years and I miss being alone, having no one to answer to. This union makes me feel like a child, I am a SAHM and I have no life outside of this house. Iam only 25.
2006-06-11 11:33:54 · 19 answers · asked by ROLLIE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you're married to either a very controlling or jealous man or a combination of both. In my opinion that makes him a very insecure person and unless you can change that trait about him I'd say you're in for a very miserable life. Just reminds me again why I've stayed single for the last 12 years.
2006-06-11 11:37:59 · answer #1 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you didn't recite your vows with a gun to your head? I can understand how you feel constricted, but you're an adult.. start acting like it. You made your decision, now deal with everything that comes with it.
Try a vacation with just the girls to get away for a little bit. Tell your husband you don't feel free, and need him to lighten up a bit, but remember.. he is your husband and as a wife, he should be your top priority. When you marry, two people become one, so you shouldn't have the same freedom to make decisions and live as you did when you were single, but no one's expecting you to run every single little decision by him. Sounds like you both need to reach some common ground.
Update: cbabyg accused me of being too harsh and judgemental, so let me defend myself. Yes, I was harsh, maybe a little more than necessary, but so many people today seem to think that marriage is only supposed to last until it gets too tough to deal with, and that's just not how it works. It's not easy, there are rough spots, but when you make vows with someone, you work through your problems. I almost just submitted the first part and nothing else, but realized that *that* would have been too harsh, so I added the second part so it would actually help. I don't mean to hurt anyone, but I honestly thought some tough love seemed like it was in order.
2006-06-11 11:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by pandasage1221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am twenty years old and have been married for 2 years now. I never wished I had that sort of freedom before, I guess because my husband never really cared too much of where I went. Its the places that you go that make it okay or not. Going to the single places like the clubs, parties, bars and places like that don't make it right for any married person to go ALONE.
Why? Because there will be temptations and there will be other single people there; not saying you'll cheat on your spouse but it will lower chances of that happening when you don't go to places like that. If you wanted to go to places like your girlfriend's house, mall, library, grocery store, movies or anything like that alone; I don't see anything wrong with that! As a married person you d have a say so and a responsiblity in telling your husband where you go because he's your spouse and he has a right on knowing. If you're not hiding anything from him then you shouldn't worry about telling him anything. After all, wouldn't you wanna know where he was getting ready to go some days?
2006-06-11 11:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Lily♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you love your husband right? Maybe you could arrange a night in the week have the husband take care of the kids and go out with the girls. Or go to a spa. You could even relax alone at home, and have your husband take the kids out for a while. And when your kids get a bit older maybe you can get a part-time job,but the important thing to remember is your 25, and if your husband cares and loves you he will let you have time to yourself and just relax! You don't have to answer every detail to him just say I'm going out tonight and you are watching the kids, don;t give him the option tell him he's is watching them,and if he says where are you going and all of those questions the go along with it all you have to say is I will be back when I'm back. Hope that helps you a little more! Good Luck!!
2006-06-11 11:40:21 · answer #4 · answered by abercrombie_lover101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a shame that you feel that way. Just cuz you are married shouldn't mean that you have to give an explanation every time you go out the house. As for me I love being married. My husband doesn't control my every move. If I want to take off I do and so does he. Sounds like you need to have a talk with hubby and tell him how you feel. Communication and trust is so important for a marriage to work. And no one should control the other persons every move. Talk to hubby and tell him how you feel and go from there. Maybe he doesn't know that hes making you feel like a child.
2006-06-11 12:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by brighteyes62301 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sure do not miss it in this marriage. We are so happy together and i love it and being married to him. But my first marriage was a disaster and i was never really married in my heart to him. It was a very disfunctional marriage and it ended in distaster. Yes in that marriage i did want my freedom back and i wanted to be single again so i can relate to you and how you feel but at the same time when you are married to the right person and your marriage is great you have no regrets. Why do you have not life outside of your house if i may ask?
2006-06-11 14:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that I miss it completely, but I miss going out like I use to. I use to go out damn near everyday of the week, that was when I was single, now its just work and home. On ocassions I'll get together with a friend and go have a drink some place. In my marriage I think we have nothing in common as far as doing things together outside of home, he like to attend car shows (guy stuff) but who wants to look at cars all day long. Was marriage something you just jumped into if so maybe u didnt think about how being married would change your life. If tough but try to find something the two of u can do together, set a day a week aside for just u and him to go out and fun and leave the kids with grandma
2006-06-11 12:26:45 · answer #7 · answered by Mama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why you do not establish yourself and get a life is beyond me. Getting married does not make you his slave. You made vows and all that but they did not include giving up your life. If he has a problem tell him to face facts and give you some space. If you do not take action the marriage will be lost and both of you will be miserable. One word of caution do not get in a rut of setting aside one night a week for you or anything like that. Look for events you would enjoy and go to them. Without Him. Marriage must have made him forget to keep you entertained. Renew the courting activities and stop being a maid.
2006-06-11 11:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess many women or men who are married at times miss there old life they miss how things used to be and most of times they want some alone time. if you really want to have a life outside of your house and want to have FUN then talk to your husband about it tell him how you feel i dont know he might understand and if you have tried talking to him and yet nothing then thats something for you to think about. do you think its right that your married and have been married for 4 years and still want to go out and have FUN?? i dont really blame you since your 25 and you should go out and have some fun at least once in a while sorry i wasnt much help tho but im just 16
2006-06-11 11:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ill be 24 been married since i was 18 and have 2 kids ages 3-5 my husband goes out every weekend stays out till 1-2 in the a.m on my days off i better answer the phone when he calls or im cheating on him I love my kids more than anything and i dont regret a second of having them it just sucks being married
2006-06-11 11:38:34 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl_mandy82 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋