I've tried to work with him to keep our family together but I feel he's not giving his all. I have excepted alot of things that others wouldn't have done. ( Child) YES! He got another women pregnant. I found out when the child was 6yrs old and two weeks after I lost my Mom.. Boy, I was devastated. The reason I feel this way is because he always going somewhere just like before mainly when I'm at work and sundays while I'm in church. IF this feeling turns out to be true. IT's OVER
2006-06-11 11:32:17 · 18 answers · asked by Honeycomb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whether or not you get a divorce, your marriage has been over for a long time. Your husband broke a trust, and your heart as well.
Women remain in marriages for financial security sometimes. If that is why you are still married, I understand. However, you do not love the man you are married to anymore. There is no "home" at your address. You family is NOT "together", even if they're in the same house.
The minute your husband broke your marriage contract by having an affair, you had no more moral obligation to remain in the contract.
Some women (like Jackie Kennedy) do not mind a philandering husband. You are not one of those women.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt. But, if you decide to do that, you need to tell him you can only stay married to him if he agrees to marriage counseling. Tell him you have tried to forgive and forget but that his old patterns are resurfacing and you are insecure because of the past.
You will know, probably, by his reaction to your confrontation, whether he wants a marriage or not.
It does get better. The future is brighter. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-06-11 11:50:55 · answer #1 · answered by SpongebobRoundpants 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you have decided already what you plan to do. So do it. You say it's over if he is cheating again. I wouldn't have let it happen again. The first time should have given you a clue. The old saying still exists. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Now if you like being used, possibly getting a disease or just feeling real low about yourself and your life, stay. Otherwise, grow a back bone and leave his sorry ***. Make him some other women's problem.
2006-06-11 20:39:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like in your mind, you already have the answer but it's a lot different to tell that to your heart especially when you've been together for awhile, all of it. I am truly sorry you are going through this, it always saddens me. I think it sounds like you are in more than very troubled waters, and I wish there was some answer, some life raft I could throw you but I think you know what you need to do. I will keep you in my thoughts and I pray nothing but the best for you, and for your future. It is time for you to think about YOU! It sounds like you've done everything you can to try and keep this marriage together but it takes two to make it all work!!! Just remember, through every dark cloud, there is a silver lining, and better times are ahead..........be strong and keep moving forward!!!
2006-06-11 20:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship should have been over when you found out he had another child. Obviously he is not honest with you. Why would you want to live with a man that you can't trust
2006-06-11 18:38:48 · answer #4 · answered by Shan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be so callous, but he's taking advantage of you because you are letting him. You need to get control over the relationship in order to save it, and he probably won't like that situation very much. You deserve better, and you'd even be better off alone than with him. At least you can have peace of mind when you are alone. Get strong and refuse to be treated that way from someone who is supposed to love you.
2006-06-11 18:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM. HE SHOULD BE DOING EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO SHOW YOU THAT HE LOVES YOU AND APPRECIATES YOU. YOU STAYED WITH HIM AFTER YOU FOUND OUT THAT HE HAD ANOTHER CHILD. YOU TRIED TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK EVEN WHEN YOU DIDNT CREATE THE PROBLEM. HE SHOULD NOT BE GIVING YOU ANY REASON TO DOUBT HIM AT THIS POINT. IT IS OBVIOUS THAT HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTS BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT YOU WILL CONTINUE TO FORGIVE HIM. HE KNOWS YOU FORGAVE HIM BEFORE SO WHY NOT TRY AGAIN. YOU DESERVE AND WILL FIND BETTER THAN HIM.
2006-06-11 18:41:12 · answer #6 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can say that it is over and mean it if he is cheating then why wait, this means that you have some deep feelings for what has happened in the past and you havent let go, so why hold on to this hurt, if you can easily walk away just cause he's cheating then why hang on while you are unhappy :(
2006-06-11 18:38:43 · answer #7 · answered by ♥My 2 Cents♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry let it go 11 yrs i had the same thing my wife said this isent working ...3 mons later new guy less than 1 yr getting married your not the only one hang in there dont turn back life gets better
2006-06-11 18:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by Edward F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of this mess right now. You deserve better , and so does the rest of the family. He is a cheater, and once a cheater, always a cheater. Move on....without him!
2006-06-11 19:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is cheating tweety, it time to look a gift horse in the mouth and move on, i know it will be tough but you will survive, we all do, good luck and keep in touch as to how your doing
2006-06-11 19:11:16 · answer #10 · answered by DAVID H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋