have kids and find yourself no longer physically attracted to your partner?
Were you ever?
Do you ever fantazize about men (or women) you do find cute or hot?
How do you deal with living with someone and having sex with someone you arent attracted to?
2006-06-11 11:26:30 · 11 answers · asked by ROLLIE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not phsically attracted to my partner, but I wouldnt cheat though.
I just miss the being attracted to someone thing.
Come to think of, I never was, but I looked pass that, but now I WANT to be attracted.
2006-06-11 11:31:27 · update #1
remember that you are married and you are raising you kids.. sex is important.. but it is not a reason in your case to divorce.. it is not an only reason too to marry someone.. you can find pleasure with your husband if you really care about him.. you both need to talk with each other with open hearts..
maybe you have to talk more with him.. and talk about how you like your sexual relationship with him to be.. if he loves you he will care to hear.. if not.. be patiant.. and try to take care of things more.. and listne to him.. and talk with him again.. he will listen.. your husband is just a big kid.. you have to deal with him like this.. do not confront him.. this will lead you both to no where.. little carnees and kidness will make him listen to you and then both of you can talk again.. and i m sure things will be up right again
2006-06-11 11:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by helix 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like I keep saying fantasies don't have flaws - but we live in the real world and it has flaws....
Refocus on your marriage - why don't you both get into a more active lifestyle, maybe a makeover - new hairstyles (or color) - new way of dressing - romance doesn't just happen it has to be cultivated - check out some love poems and romantic movies --- get new ideas and implement them! Make your bedroom more romantic --- home decorating books can help you accomplish this
(low lighting , some candles, some Barry White music playing in the background etc.) - dress up for each other --- like when you where doing it to attract each others attention --- work on making your spouse the one you fantasize about -after all, you focused on someone else to be your fantasy - so now do that with your own mate! Don't forget to have date nights --- get a sitter and so you and your spouse can have some intimate times together --- Physical attraction isn't what holds people together --- if that was the case who would divorce a beautiful model or a attractive(handsome) movie star --- but as you and I both know it happens all the time!
2006-06-11 18:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spice it up! That is your husband - all marriages hit flat spots. If you changed the question to this what would you do: I am sick and I want to be healthy - what should I do? Answer: Go to a doctor, eat healthy, exercise, take vitamins, etc. No one would say - just die - which is what a divorce does to a marriage - it kills it! So why not be the doctor to your marriage by doing the equivalent to make it healthier and happier!!! Come on - have some passion and do it now!!!!
I think that when a marriage falls into a routine, women are more inclined to get bored than men are then start planning an exit strategy - and hubby usually is clue less. I thought marriage was for better or worst, is sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, til death do us part...
Stop being a victim and take charge of your happiness, your marriage and your life.
2006-06-11 19:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for six years and in all truth I still think my husband is attractive, in not saying there isnt room for improvement but i love my husband and even if he got bigger or had a disability I would still love him, sounds like you are having doubts....I would go to counseling first then decide if its worth splitting over, but never under any circumstances have an affair, if you are unhappy with your husband than you should let him know and decide what to do about it from there... affairs can hurt both sides both physically and emotionally and if you care at all for your husbands feelings as a person you should never do this... but yeah fantasys are okay as long as they remain fantasys but if you wanna stay with your husband than maybe you can suggest in a nice way what he can do to improve his looks such as to say... I really like it when you are dressed this way, give him compliments when he does something right... and talk to him about what he finds attractive and what you find attractive and maybe he may make a few changes on his own...
goodluck
2006-06-11 18:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by hearts_bleed_dark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why arent you attracted anymore? Have you tried things like telling him he needs to handcuff and blindfold you? or maybe different colognes or something? When I was married I fantasized all the time and now I think back at how stupid I was because I didnt appreciate her until she was gone and left me. I was unattracted to her too until she left and I didnt have her anymore. Try and remember why you were attracted to him in the first place and bring those back.
2006-06-11 18:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lookinstr8over 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your partner and have a good relationship besides the fact that you are no longer physically attracted to them then be happy that you have someone that loves and cares for you.looks arent everything.
2006-06-11 18:35:58 · answer #6 · answered by crussell33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't have that problem my husband and i have been married for 9 years and i have had 3 kids and gained 40 lbs and hes gained wieght too but i find him just as attractive today as i did when i married him find out if you are depressed and that might help because maybe your alittle depressed and that will make you feel that way
2006-06-11 18:34:47 · answer #7 · answered by margesimpson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for almost seven years and together with him about eight now and i feel physically attrated to him and he still is to me... We still float each others boats lol. I sure was physically attacted to him when i first met him and he was to me too. No i do not fantasize about others because i feel it is wrong and sinful! He is my fantasy and i am his and that is the way it should be.
2006-06-11 21:31:29 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have been married for 12 yrs....the desire, love, attraction, excitement, commitment..etc are still there. Perhaps you should seek couple counseling? Best of Luck!
2006-06-11 19:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by beth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 14 years and that has never happened to me. You need marriage counseling....and fast.
2006-06-11 18:29:45 · answer #10 · answered by girlonline64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋