i like a guy im taking to but im in a complicated sitaution what do i do?

Question

welllets see i met this guy on line we have emailed, text sms messages, talked on the phone and have agreed we are so much alike and we want to get to know one another better. he is from my home town which i am going to visit in one month. he is everything im looking for (as far as i can see) i dont want to rush things and neither does he. the complicated sitaution is im married very unhappy and i want to leave him i have for years. but i have children to think about too. i havent told the guy im married yet because i want to see how things pan out with this guy before i do. because we could just stay friends and anyhow i am leaving my hubby before the year is out. what ahould i do i want to be honest but im afraid to lose him and i really like him. help!

Answer 1

You owe it to your husband to talk about your marriage. Its unfair to him and the children if you just abruptly ask for a divorce. If the situation has been deteoriating for a while, he needs to know your attention.

Divorce is a very tramatic event for children. Whether they are 3 or 30. You must be extremely careful and you must explain what is going on to them. Kids are much smarter than you think, don't lie.

As for internet people, be EXTREMELY CAREFUL. He could end up being a great guy, the love of your life. At the same time he could be a bored person looking to flirt online or worst case scenario a sexual predator.
Take it slow, no romantic notions involved. Your first visit must be in a public place and you must find out as much as possible about the other person. Don't go have sex the first date.

Answer 2

Uh boy! Does the word "integrity" mean anything to you. You are unhappily married: most people are unhappily married at one time or another. What are you going to do about it - have an affair because that is what you are doing now. If you want to end your marriage, you should do so first before allowing someone else to be involved in your life. You are making a foolish mistake. I wouldn't trust you if I were the other guy because you are cheating on your husband and you will do the same to the guy you just met when you are unhappy with him. And what about the guy you are chatting with: he knows you are married yet he still is chatting up a storm with you. Why should you trust him, I don't believe what you are he is doing is right. When you take short cuts in life, you pay the price - this is a natural law. Good luck!

Answer 3

Oh, my gosh, what about those children. Are you willing to take them away from their father and from you and from each other. Man, I have been divorced for a long time. The long view is that if you do not plan carefully about how you are going to take care of yourself and your children, you will see them blow away like so much chalf in the wind.
People need family, even if you live in the same house, but separate bedrooms. If your kids are teens, just wait! If they are younger than eight and you have a secure family to be close to, then go, but go slowly, but surely to a safe place.
Divorces are very expensive in terms of resources and emotions.
You have no idea what this e-mail guy is like even though he is giving you a good line. Remember, his brain is still in his pants. Reserve judgement. Don't be childish.
You know, I made so many mistakes that I just want to warn you. Sorry!
Hecate

Answer 4

That spells trouble. This online guy, you don't even know who he "truly" is. This world isn't safe anymore. If you are not happy you should think about ending the marriage, not find a stranger who convinces you both are the same and should meet up. Very very risky. Deal with your marriage problem first. It you want a divorce, it could get very ugly if it get's out that you are somewhat involved with another man. Be very careful with these decisions you are making. There is a consequence to everything. In the end, we all get hurt no matter what, so be wise.

Answer 5

Why do women always need someone else first, then dump their husbands?? I feel like we are stepping stones!!
You have problems woman. If you are having problems at home,work on them! Don't create more problems. If you can't work it out with your husband,get a divorce. Before you get the divorce, make sure that a divorce is the best thing for you and the kids. Don't start a new relationship built on lies!

Answer 6

If you do "lose" him because of your situation, then he is honestly not worth it in the first place. Tell him about your situation before advancing any further in your relationship. To do otherwise would be not honest both to him and yourself.

The children will be affected the most. If you really want to be serious witht this new guy, then you should see how the kids react to him.

Good luck! <3

Answer 7

The thing that is really making you attracted to this guy is that he appears to be a breath of fresh air. He appears to be the "cure all" from what you say you are experiencing in your marriage. You should not continue to invest any more time in this "crush." You are just setting yourself up for an even bigger disappointment. Use your time to rebuild your marriage for your children.

Answer 8

Tidy up the mess with your hubby before you date someone else, don't give him any 'ammo' to use against you in the divorce.Explain this to your friend and if he will wait for you than he is probably OK!

Answer 9

First of all leave yo husbands sorry ***! Get a DIVORCE!
And the situation with the kids, take them with you make arrangements with your husband to let the kids stay with you during the school year and he can get them during the summer time hun. If your not happy you don't have to stay. GO GET YOUR MAN GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

that's even worse than cheating on him. do u notice how heart-broken he will be after he knows u're hiding an extremely big issue like that?? u should tell him, u don't want that to be done to u. and btw, whatever is his reaction, u should understand that cz it's not easy