I just recently graduated from high school & my 21 yr old bf and i just found out that we're going to have a baby. I was on the pill but unfortunately i forgot to take it one day & became pregnant. I dont really know what im going to do with my life now.My bf is happy that we're going to have a child & so am i but i think the timing was way off. Now i wont be able to go to college because i'll have to take care of my baby. My mom is willing to help out but she's pushing for my bf and i to move out & get a place of our own. The thing is, he & i only make a total f $500 a month. We considered an abortion but if i go through with it, i may not be able to have kids in the future. I am also not sure if im capable of taking care of a baby. I am on antidepressants but because i am preg, i will have to stop taking it. & last time i forgot to take my medication, things did not go too well. What should i do? should i just have an abortion?
2006-06-11 10:42:33 · 32 answers · asked by Jam 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
~~congratulations to both you and the daddy... what a wonderful Father's day present for him. You are correct in saying that an abortion could cause complications. if you are curious of the risks involved i have a copy of a concent form that you would be signing at any abortion clinic, reading this over may give you a better idea of what exactly you would be getting yourself into. There are many organizations out there also that can help you should you decide to carry to term. Many don't know that with a low income from the Social Service agencies there is help with the cost of child care. many will even pay a family member that is not living under the same roof as you to care for your child. If you would like me to scan in a copy of the concent form, or would like any other information such as resources for assistance, click on my avatar and add me to your yahoo messenger, and i will be happy to help you in any way i can. Good luck to all three of you!~~
2006-06-11 10:50:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 18⤊ 2⤋
Well, having an abortion is totally up to you. I've several and carried twins. There is nothing saying you won't be able to have children in the future if you have an abortion. If you have any doubts at all then you should not have a child. Why won't you be able to go to college if you have a child? I have three and I go to college. Your boyfriend planning on sticking around? He should be able to help you while you go to school. There's even internet colleges that are fully credited. There is no reason why you should not be able to go to college if you have a baby. As far as your depression pills....You sound as if this is not a good time for you to be planning a family. Look, a child is a HUGE responsibility. If you are less than 3 months there is an abortion pill you can take that will abort the baby, like having a miscarriage. This is something that you REALLY need to think about.
Jen
2006-06-11 11:15:45 · answer #2 · answered by jennmil88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok hate to burst your bubble but just because you didnt take your pill one time will not allow you to get pregnant.
Now that that is out of the way you should also realize everything happens for a reason. Going to college will be hard if you try on your own. Why dont you ask your mom if you and your baby can stay there as long as your in college, you pay rent and have your BF live somewhere else. It would only be fair since your mother would be resposible for you and your child.
Getting an abortion is only an option if your still early in the pregnancy and let me tell you just because you get an abortion does not mean you can not get pregnant again example- my 6yr old! If you feel this is your best option than go for it, you have to do whats best for you. Adoption is always an option too but personaly I think that would be harder to deal with because you know the chilc is out there and one day you may want to reach him/her and they dont want you or vise versa.
It is a difficult job to take care of child when you are still technicaly (sp) a child yourself, but it is possible you just have to try! No one is perfect at raising a kid no matter how old they are.
Once you have your child there is no reason you cant get back on your meds if that is what you decide.
But ultimatly the choose is up to you...its your body and your life...your BF may love you now ( and I'm not trying to jinx anything just being real) but you never know what will happen in the future and raising a child alone is no picnic either...speaking from experience! Just make sure you look at al your options.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-06-11 10:53:22 · answer #3 · answered by The Fabulous Miss S. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. Very bad timing is right. Do you want to have a baby that you are not ready for and can't afford or do you want to continue your education so that some day you will be able to afford to raise a baby and can give them what they need. How are you going to live in a place of your own and raise a baby too on $500 a month. Having an abortion does not mean you won't be able to have kids in the future. That happed many years ago before abortion was legal and girls went to a dirty butcher shop. You and your bf have some tough decissions to make. How does he feel about abortion or adoption? How do you feel about it? You have to do what is the best for the 3 of you. What ever your decission is, whether it be abortion or adoption, you have to live with it the rest of your life. Make sure you can. I know what I would probably do but I can't tell you what to do nor can anyone else. Good luck to you all.
2006-06-11 11:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a chemist + biologist point of view, I don't think abortion is as bad as people make it to be as long as, it is still early in the pregnancy. (~Month or less).
However I'm not saying abortion is the best answer. If you really feel for child, your best option is to take it to an adoption after birth, because it is obvious that you guys are not capable of taking care of a baby, mentally or financially. It is difficult to raise a family even on ten times the income you two are making. I know it must be really really hard to let go of your own baby, but the least you can do is to give the baby to a family where he or she will be a true blessing.
If you are concerned about your education or whether or not you can have another baby in the future before the well being of this baby, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Go do the right thing.
2006-06-11 11:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by †ђ!ηK †αηK² 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 21, I like you, ended up pregnant...but i chose to keep him and I couldn't be more happier with my decision. He is my world..and yes i had to put my dreams on hold for awhile but now at 28 I have gone back to college and in two years will be getting my degree. Even if you decide that you are not ready for a baby...please don't have an abortion (and i'm not saying abortion is right or wrong) but there are so many couples unable to have a child that would take he or she and give it the life that you would want the baby to have.
2006-06-11 10:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by miss_chrissy_dawn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is not always the answer. You can have the baby and give it up for adoption. Talk to your doctor and find out what he thinks about the situation with the anti depression pills. if your doctor thinks you should have the abortion then maybe you should but make sure there are no other choices that can be made. You will find the right road to follow remember god never gives any one person more than they can handle. I wish you the best of luck, no matter what you chose to do.
2006-06-11 10:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by Holly D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
School and having a baby can work if you want it to. Its not the baby's fault you got pregnant and the kid is just as much his as it is yours. Talk to your bf about it and see what he thinks. I would hope that abortion would not be the path you take. People go back to school at all different ages, don't let that be an excuse to have an abortion. I know its kind of late to say this but, if your not responsable enough to have a baby you shouldn't be having sex. It won't be an easy path to go but, you wont regret having your child but, you would regret having an abortion wondering about things all your life.
2006-06-11 10:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO I dont think abortion is the key. You really need to decide to keep the baby or not. If you decide not to keep the baby put it up for adoption. There are so many women out there that cant have babys that would love to adopt. And it breaks there hearts that people out there can get pregnant on the dime and just abort that new tiny life that hasnt had a chance to make it into this world. So please dont abort.
2006-06-11 10:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by =]smile[= 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice is up to you. I dont think you should get an abortion. You can still go to college and there are places that can help you. As far as your medication the doctor can give you medicine that will help you and not harm the baby. Sometimes people think that they are not capable but you never know and you should be fine if you got psupport at home. But either way the decision is up to you nobody else. Let me know how it goes. You'll be fine!!!!
2006-06-11 10:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by sexychocolate24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you feel is right! Women are faced with this decision everyday. It's possible that you may not be able to have kids in the near future, but it's not the same for every woman. I know two women who've had abortions and they had children afterwards. Plan out your finances, goals, outcomes from the decision you'll make. No one can tell you exactly what to do because you're the one who has to live with that decision. Good luck
2006-06-11 10:50:10 · answer #11 · answered by Sunie* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋