WOMEN HERE: Okay I was watching the kid and went upstairs and found my guy in the bathroom, when he?

Question

came out he had a hard on (could see through his pants) and he said he wasnt doing anything...so I went in the bathroom and found a skanky porn mag behind the toilet...I m not retarded.
He is over 30 and this creeped me out...why does he need to look at hot sluts to get off? He always denies this and then I find out I was right!
We have been together for over 3 years, I have asked him to stop reading porn as I believe it really screws a mans perception of a women.
Am I the crazy one, should I just ignore it and let him do this.

Answer 1

The issue here isn't the porn, it's the sneaking around and the lying about it. That's your real problem.
It's only the beginning hon, unless you go get help now.
My ex started with magazines, then on to movies, then the Internet. At times he got so engrossed in it that I could walk right up behind him and he wouldn't know I was there. I'm not a prude and would do anything for him then, but yet he was so hooked on porn that I had to go without for 3 -6 weeks at a time. Finally, I was working nights, he was supposed to be home watching our son, who he had exposed to this crap "accidentally" a few times before. He was sitting in the recliner acting all comfy and sleepy. Just as soon as I had left the house he jumped up and ran to a local strip club, leaving our son unattended. After years of promises and trying I finally left him. Don't let that happen to you. Talk to him and then get counseling.
I just wonder why there are so many women on here that are trying to make it sound like it's the woman's fault? Sad............

Answer 2

I think that a lot of guys do this and it doesn't mean anything. My ex used to tell me that he didn't read/ look at porn on the internet nor watch videos or whatever. And I believed it... then like a month later he started forgetting to delete his history on his internet and I found an outrageous amount of porn sites and he still denied it and blamed it on his brother or friends. I personally think it's disgusting to the fullest extent but also think it's just normal and they really can't help what they like and then they're embarrassed by it. If they start looking at porn and masturbating with that rather than have sex with you... then you have a major problem, but for now I don't think it's that serious.

Answer 3

first you have to understand a man's sex drive ( and it';s nothing like a womans. )

First it's driven by visual stimulation. ( WANT PROOF? ) try doing a strip tease for him but leave bra and panties on until he lets you tie his hands to something. next remove your last items and see if you can get him to (cu*) without you touching his peni* Play with yourself. run your hands along his chest, neck and hair and you can even bend over with your *** facing him so he see's your *** up close and personal Then with such a front row seat masturbate while he watches. ( place a mirror at an angle so you can watch his face. My guess is his eyes would never leave the action taking place between your leg's and you know what? ( fact is most men would have an orgasm if you did. and some even before you came. )

Second if you don;t want him masterbating then learn about him. He is taking care of his problem the only way he know's how. who knows's what get his engine going but he probably flirted with you and got shot down so is taking maters into his own hands instead of having an affair.

Next read the book called
Read His Needs, Her Needs, By Willard Harley Jr.
Each person in a marriage has 5 basic (NEEDS) knowing these (NEEDS) is the first step to good marrital communication. if even a single (NEED) is ignored. the relationship will sugger ( Usually with an affair ) it's your call but if your man has a ( STRONG SEXUAL FULFILLMENT) as his primary needs critisizing or making fun of nagging about it only drives him into the waiting arms of another woman.

God Bless.

Answer 4

Tell him that this really bothers you and ask him to get rid of it please. Try to spice things up more for him in the bedroom and make so of your own homemade porn of you and him together for him to look at and get off on. This may help and solve some of the problem. I tend to agree with you that porn does mess up minds and it is very degrading to women men and children and young people too.... It is dirty and twisted and will mess with your head for sure and give you ideas of what love and sex should not or ever really be! If he has an addiction to it and cannot walk away and stop he may need counseling!

Answer 5

Seriously here, you'd break up with your man over PICTURES of models he wouldn't stand an icecubes chance in hell with?? I mean come on. I know it sux (trust me, I'm engaged so I'm no "noob" to this) but just because he's checking out the "untouchable" women in a magazine, doesnt mean he is or would cheat on you. It just means that somehow, you need to relight the fire you both had together, and find new ways to take his mind off of them and onto you. On average, most men think of sex an average of once ever 7 minutes. Even if you are the most gorgeous, sexual dynamo in the world, you won't always be able to satisfy his EVER sexual need ( could YOU have sex once ever 7 minutes? I know I couldn't). If it truly bothers you, watch porn together....I know it seems weird, but it honestly gives you both the chance to be more open and creative with each other. It might actually open doors neither of you thought of before.

Answer 6

Alot of women have this problem. Even when you can't see him he may be masturbating...so asking him/telling him to stop may not follow through. Once I started looking at porn and my husband got jealous! What nerve? Sometimes an eye for an eye doesn't work and sometimes talking doesn't work....You have to figure out the best way to intervene. You know him best and as we try to give advice as best as we know how- it still may not be the best plan for him. Begin to compare things or show him what hurts most. I told my husband all my feelings and when that didn't work, I played hardball, but afterwards I just did an intervention....it may sound crazy but it worked. Good luck

Answer 7

Yes, you are the crazy one. Pornography has been around since ancient times (Greeks and Romans). Many adults, men and women, use porn as a method to fantasize, instead of actually going out and having sex with another person. Think of it like that, at least he is shaking his right hand man, rather than getting it buffed by some bimbo.

Answer 8

I went thru this with my ex, but he always let me know that he had the mags. I told him over and over that I didn't like them and didn't want them in the house, especially with kids in the house. Imagine the kids finding that stuff? He never gave it up and he got to where he would hide it (he was 50 when we divorced and was still hiding them still).

I don't know how you can get him to understand that this is not ok. I do know that the guy I have now doesn't have anything like that in the house, but he did have them in the trailer he used to live in. Now that we are living together, he doesn't need them so he got rid of them. Now that's respect for me and our relationship!

Answer 9

What harm can it do why dont you try and find some porn you can both look at maybe naughty poems will do it for you instead of pictures? if you are not happy for him to sneak about let him know that you can be available when the kids are in bed or whenever to play too!

Answer 10

Well I am sure that if you offered to pose around the house like those girls do he would be less likely to look at the mags. Just be thankful that he isn't cheating on you. Maybe if you didn't make a big deal out of him looking at it he wouldn't lie to you about it. Who knows it just might spice up the sex life if you looked at it together.