Problem with my boyfriend?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 5 months. I love him more than anything and I know that he felt the same way, but he recently told me that he's fallen out of love with me. He told me he didn't know why, but that something just changed. He says he still wants us to remain a couple and that maybe he can grow to love me again, but it hurts a lot to know he doesn't care about me the same way I care about him. I couldn't bring myself to break up with him, but the whole situation is torturing me. Does anyone have any advice as to how I can feel better about the situation, or what I should do to feel better?

I just wanted to make clear that I don't love him out of desperation and he definitely loved me too at one point.

I didn't think people could just fall out of love like that. He is going through a few changes, maybe he's just lost?

Answer 1

leave that hopeless guy and look for a sweety...

Answer 2

It's hard to just say forget about him. It's not really that easy, is it? I do agree that you deserve to be with someone who loves you as much as you love them....and maybe there is something more to this than either you or he realizes. Maybe he's going through a lot of changes within himself and on a subconscious level he is pulling away so that he can figure out what is going on internally.

Maybe you should tell him that you do love him very much....and while it hurts you, you understand that at least he is being honest with you. Tell him that you care for him, but you also care for yourself and that now would be a good time for both of you to do your own thing as far as romance goes. If you can handle being around him right now, then go for it. Be his friend. If it hurts you too much, you might need some space.

You never know. He might end up figuring things out, and you two will meet up again as a couple when the time is right. But there is no point on holding out for something that he says up front is not going to happen.

I've read a lot of your questions and your answers to others. You seem like a smart, compassionate and fun guy. I, for one, happen to think this guy is a flake and doesn't know what he is passing up.

Answer 3

How sincere do you think he is? My bet is he wants to fool around a bit with others and enjoy more experiences. Depending on how old the two of you are, that might be a good thing. More experience elsewhere will help both of you to determine whether you really want to be together "permanently" or exclusively. It is better to test things this way after 5 months than after 5 years, so try to consider that this is not necessarily a bad thing.

But if you suspect he wants to end the relationship "softly," then just let go, because it is already finished. You absolutely will not make someone who behaves like that love you, no matter how heroically you try. If he lacks courage, no amount of courage on your part is going to win his heart.

Answer 4

This sounds oddly familiar. Perhaps it's because I went through the same thing about 8 months ago. My boyfriend at the time told me he wasn't really sure how he felt anymore, but that he didn't love me like he had anymore. We gave it another month to try to work things out, but nothing really ever worked. Granted, there were some other complications. We broke up after 6 months of dating because I forced something out of him. He didn't know what he wanted, but I wanted something: either to know that he wanted to work it out and give it all he could to fix it, or to let both of us move on if he didn't feel that would happen. He didn't want to drag me along, so we ended it. I've since found someone much better who returns my love 100%.

It's a tricky road to travel. It's all in whether or not you want to submit yourself to the off chance that things can get better. Also, my thinking: it's happened once in a short period of time...what's to keep it from happening again in the long run? If you're up to it, though, by all means keep trying. I couldn't, though.

Answer 5

There is an old saying that goes, 'It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.' The fact of the matter is that you'll never stop loving him as much as you do. Likewise, he'll never feel the same about you as he felt when you first met or before he 'fell out of love' with you. What you must realise is that peoples emotions are like the times.... they constantly change. This is a sad side-effect to being human and having a heart. Therefore, it's my advice to you to keep him in your life but expand your options. There is at least one true love for you, dearheart.

Answer 6

A new love, that's the ticket. In gay love you can't bend over long enough to smell the roses and be maudlin, you'll get ****** up the *** that way. Sometimes you fall for people who are total mind *****, I spent years getting over my high-school sweetheart and that relationship only lasted five months as well. I still thought about him everyday for years it was torture but sadly enough time was the only thing that healed my emotional wounds. Write him letters you will never send him, write one that expresses your anger first, then write others that express your love. Don't ever give them to him. YOu can't come across as that needy to him or he will think you're a freak...but it will help you...focus on you and move on with another guy. If he is right for you he will come back, otherwise you're better off on your own.

Answer 7

I have to agree with Autumn BrighTree. Obviously your boyfriend is going through some major changes now. Has something major happened in his life recently, but that's not the point regardless. It seems that you care for this person very deeply, and from what I understand he still cares about you. Maby he is just discovering some things out about himself.

Just remember that if he continues to pull away from you, it's time to break up with him. I say that like it's easy (and if you truly "love him more than anything"), it won't be. It will be very heartbreaking but it could be worse if you stayed with him and allowed him to walk over you potentially hurting you more...

Answer 8

First of all, people fall out of love as easy as they fall in. it is also understandable how you feel. However you are at a point where you have to also rethink your relationship. Think about how you feel. You may want to be with him, but if your feelings are not the same, then you may want to think about giving your relationship some breathing room. Trial separations can show you what needs to be done. Time will tell. if he then does still not share your feelings, then he is not the one for you, and you deserve better.

Answer 9

I have had boils last longer than months. You fell in love too fast and it didn't last. I know I sound cold hearted but there can't be that many pieces to pick up and move on from, crap your six month apartment lease has not even expired.

Listen to 'The Walk' from the Sweet Dreams (are made of this) album. Ms. Lennox addressed this issue a full year before you were probably born.

Answer 10

Sometimes we can confuse love with Lust it has very similar feeling but one takes a little longer then the other. Myadvice to u is either take sometime to think about thing really good, then if you really think its love you feel for this person that you need them so much try winning them a lover again like in the begining, spend time together and learn about eachother more. I really hope everything works out for the best Good luck .

Answer 11

I do know how devastating that feels .

Do you tell him to go ?
Or do you beg him to stay?

either way is pretty grim

If he is happy to hurt you like this,
after 5 months of bliss ,
can you really trust him ,to love you ,on a long term basis .;
He may just be a spoilt baby, who enjoys torturing you , knowing you will wear it .
But expect you, to have him back in your arms ,
just when he feels like it

Personally , this does not seem like real love to me .

I can't and never would advise you on this ,
it is something you need to work out for yourself

I so wish you true happiness, in the near future
hugs
:)