we have been together for about 3 years now and have a 2month old together.I my fiancee but it seems like his mother can say and do what she pleases when she wants to and thats OK. I have explained to him that we are all adults and as an afult you have to be responsible for your own actions, he agrees with me but still lets his mommy get away with saying or doing anything......please help not sure what to do and I know I cant deal with this forever without eventually calling his mother on some of the things she is doing...........I would really like to avoid that....
2006-06-11 09:50:29 · 9 answers · asked by BlessedBeauty81 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think it is time you tell her all about herself and don't hold back..have a drink first
2006-06-11 09:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by zzzzz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay- here it goes.
I have the same situation here. But this is the truest, probably most important thing you will hear about your current relationship- Men and their Mommys have sick, unhealthy relationships, and there is nothing that you cant do to stop it. Believe me, I have tried to create some way to feel comfortable, but I just have to not let it get to me. When I have tried to say anything, I become the bad guy. Mommys never want to give their sons away. They feel like they are being replaced. This applies to all mother - son relationships, some are just far more extreme than others.
If you attempt to say anything to him, it will just make things worse for you,.
2006-06-11 17:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by kw11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety! Stand up for yourself! If you keep letting her do and say what she wants, she will. And her little boy is not going to stand up to Mommy! Besides, you're a mom now too. She needs to step back and stand down! For the sake of your relationship!
2006-06-11 17:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by honeybmassage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to break it to ya honey, but you have a mama's boy. Either resign yourself to that fact now, ignore it and stay with the man only to have this same problem or leave. It isn't YOUR responsibility to step in as badly as you would like. I'd be willing to bet the day you do will be the day you and your fiance have MAJOR issues.
2006-06-11 16:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by adagia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my ex's mom, before she died 3 years ago. He refused to stand up for me or himself, until I told him it's either stand up for us and yourself or I leave. After telling him that a few times, and leaving once, he did it. Things were much better after that. His mom and I became close, in time, and I truly miss her now. It is HIS mother, so it is up to HIM to say something to her, to tell her to back off or you guys will move away not telling her where you went or what your number is, etc. If you tell him you will leave if he doesn't do it, then be prepared to actually leave. He probably won't believe you if you say it then stay.
Good luck!
2006-06-11 17:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time for ultimatum.
either he accepts you as the first woman in his life or his mother. if it's mom say fine and move on and let him know he can see mommy for sex and love from now on.
His Needs, Her Needs, By Willard harley jr.
OH FYI read this book first. see if ther is one of his ( 5 BASIC NEEDS) that mommy is caring for that you can step in and start doing. IN Marriage for emotional health we each need all 5 basic (NEEDS) to be met.
God Bless
2006-06-11 17:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sully 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously lets her do this and wants her to. Hee neds to grow up and stop going to mom with and about everything and he needs to live his life and if you ever marry him he needs to leave his parents and live and cleave with you as his spouse. He should tell her that he is grown up now and that he loves her but that he wants to be able to live his life!
2006-06-11 20:59:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him again. If he won't speak with her on your behalf I would call a family meeting. Explain in a very respectul way that her behavior is offensive to you. If he won't stand up for himself you may be in for a long haul.
2006-06-11 16:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by ldc1129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep his mum out of your life as much as you can. when she is around just keep your head cool for the sake of your fiance. most importantly always make it clear to your fiance that you do not appreciate anyone interfering in your relationship with him, including his mum.
2006-06-11 16:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋