I can always see gay pornos in recently closed files after my son uses our computer. He has younger brothers and sisters and I don't want them to see pornos, how will I call his attention about this without touching this "if he is a gay" issue.
2006-06-11 08:26:59 · 19 answers · asked by beh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
just talk to him...keep the lines of communication open. he will open up when he is ready. But let him know you are there and will not judge him, and that you will always love him.
2006-06-11 08:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by ~•over the moon•~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If You Approach The Subject In A Tone Of Voice Which Is Calm And Non-Threating With No Forced Facial Expressions Or Gestures, It Will Then Be Easier To Tackle The Subject Without Becoming Defensive In The Intial Conversation
A Light Drink And A Night In With A Movie Together (No Kids Around) With The Topic Of Sexuality Which You Yourself Should Be Totally Comfortable With First, Because For Somebody Even A Parent To Challenge Somebodys Elses Way Of Thought Which Themselves They Have Not Fullt Develop Only Complicates The Situation
Remember The Less You Think And Daydream Of Certain Out Comes The Easier The Present And REAL Conversation Will Be Without All You Preplanned Questions, Which Usually Get Easly Dismissed And Hurt More Even Though They Did'nt Undersatnd The Defensive Apprach
This Makes Sense If You Read Carefully
Bless
2006-06-11 08:34:24 · answer #2 · answered by Alien Boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get into a long conversation about straights and gays and (well in my opinion) how it is better to be straight then finally talk to him about the porno files and ask him if he is gay that you are really concerned this is a major thing and i feel you should know the truth but after it all make sure you tell him you love him no matter what
2006-06-11 08:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for starters, I don't think you actually doubt his gender. His gender is male. What you doubt is his sexuality, or sexual orientation.
You don't state your son's age, which would help in giving advice. You might let him know you found the files and tell him why you're concerned, and just ask him if he knows anything about it... in a non-threatening manner, of course.
Hopefully he'll feel comfortable with telling you if he feels you are not going to judge him over it. Good luck with it.
2006-06-11 08:41:14 · answer #4 · answered by JStrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have a healthy relationship with your son and want him to be honest with you, then you should be honest with him and ask him in a non-judgmental way how he feels. If he is going through a moment in his life when he is wanting to discover himself, I think it is always healthy for the parent to give loving, non-judgmental advice that only keeps what is best for the child in perspective...not the ego of the parent. This could be an opportunity for the two of you to grow closer and discussions like this won't be so uncomfortable.
2006-06-11 08:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by Sedona 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot doubt his gender! If he has a penis, he is a male! You may doubt his sexual preference, but that's totally different! Good question, though!! It would certainly save him a lot of needless heartache if you were to KINDLY approach him, with constant reassurance that you will love him, no matter what!! A LOT has to do with the way you approach the subject, so be discreet, but be honest! Don't forget to love unconditionally!!!
2006-06-11 08:33:15 · answer #6 · answered by Rebooted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEVER SAID HOW OLD YOUR SON IS. IS HE AN ADULT? IF NOT THEN THERE ARE PARENTIAL CONTROLS AVAILABLE ON THE COMPUTOR. IF HE IS OLD ENOUGH THEN HE NEEDS TO BE REMINDED THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO USE THE SAME COMPUTOR AND COOKIES CAUSE TROUBLE WITH POP UPS AND SUCH.
DO NOT DOUBT HIS GENDER. YOU CHANGED HIS DIAPERS DID HE HAVE A PENUS? THEN OF COURSE HE IS A MALE, JUST ONE THAT LIKES OTHER MALES.
PROBABLY THE BEST COURSE WOULD BE M.Y.O.B. (MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS) WHEN HE IS READY TO BAIL OUT OF THE CLOSET, HE WILL AND NOTHING WILL MAKE HIM COME OUT ANY SOONER.
2006-06-11 08:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by BOOMBOOMBILLY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just put a password on the computer and when he askes you why, confront him with the files that you found. either he will open up to you and tell you or he will stop doing it on your computer since he knows you've noticed that "someone" was looking at that stuff. so you dont have to blame him, but he will know.
2006-06-11 08:31:41 · answer #8 · answered by reyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the way you brought it up here. It could be a load off his mind, if you bring the issue to the forefront.
2006-06-11 08:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your son is gay you need to pull him aside to talk to him about it.first ask him about the porn then let him talk but if he doesn't say anything about being gay then ask him why he's watching men porns?please be gentle because my mom has asked me if i was gay just because i said something about gays that she didn't agree w/. all i said was all to it's own and she thought i was too OK w/ it.so maybe he's just trying to figure things out for himself.
2006-06-11 08:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by *~BeA$T~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure that is the way to handle it. He may be leaving you some clues but mainly just talk with him about his like and the most important thing is to listen. God gave us 2 ears and one mouth. Let us listen and not judge and if he is he will tell you. Could be afraid to talk with you about this..
2006-06-11 08:34:38 · answer #11 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋