My daughter is now 24, the youngest of 3. With the other two I was much tougher and made them stand on their own two feet by the age of 21. Now they are independent and not reliant on me for rescuing them in times of need, except for advice. The 24 yr old who has her own apartment STILL does not seem to be able to make it without financial help from me every month! She is now working full time; granted not making great money but still. I know I am part of the problem, but I don't want her to end up being evicted or homeless or go hungry, although my older daughter says maybe that is what needs to happen before she wakes up and learns how to manage her money. I DO NOT want her moving in with me either because that is HELL since she and my partner do NOT get along, and that is why I feel stuck when it comes to helping her with her rent. I am ready to move to another country so she'll have to stand up on her own. Older parents out there - how did you deal with a kid like this
2006-06-11 08:00:00 · 4 answers · asked by nquizzitiv 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
It's obvious what the results are from being tougher on one than the other. I appreciate your honesty in your question.
It's tough but you are going to have to let her fall and pick herself up. She knows she has a safe place to land therefore she is using that landing when she needs financial help. You have got to stop giving it to her. I know it's easier said than done. I went through a similiar experience with my only child and it took awhile but now she is financially independent. She struggles from time to time, but I know she is OK. I worried so much about her being so dependent on me in the event of my death. I don't worry anymore because I know she is OK.
It takes time and it won't happen overnight but you need to talk to her, let her know that it's time for her to grow up and you will be there for her emotionally but not financially.
Good Luck to you. I'm sure your question has hit home for alot of parents, believe me, you're not the only one with this problem.
2006-06-11 08:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Cyndee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't let go now, when something happens to you,Where will she be? She needs to learn now while you are still here to guide her. If and when something should happen to you where would she end up? I have a younger sister who is 43 yrs.old ,3 kids,been married 3 times,divorced again and our mom just passed away.She dosen't know how to handle money,pay her bills, she depends on other people to do it for her. I say it's time to let her GROW-Up before it's too late.
2006-06-11 15:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by sassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy them a house.
2006-06-11 15:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by The Foosaaaah 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's your BABY ,THAT'S WAY
2006-06-11 15:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋