What the hell happened to me?

Question

Alright so Ive been straight my whole life, never touched a guy, the thought of it makes me vomit. About 4 months ago, I broke off a long term relationship with my gf, we were together about 3 years, it was a hard break up. Ever since than, my life has gotten pretty shitty. I never wanna be gay, or get with men, but i have these uncontrolable impulses towards men, and its like a goddamn curse. Something pyscologically changed in my head. I dont fantasize about men, i dont have any urges to have sex other men, but im afraid to get close to any male i come in contact with and im afraid im becoming a homosexual because of these awkward impulses. Maybe i should see a theropist i dunno?

Answer 1

it might be a good idea to consult a counselor, you sound very confused about your feeling right now.... best wishes!

Answer 2

First, you may not be becoming homosexual.

For three years, your life was pretty much defined by the relationship you were in. Now, you don't have that and I would guess you must be wondering how to go on. You may be feeling "less than a man" and are looking for role models in other men so you can regain your strength. You may feel a mistrust of women generally, but still crave affection (don't we all?).

That being said, changes in sexual orientation (in both ways) are actually not uncommon. People can even go decades living exclusively as one or the other and then, for no explainable reason, change.

Of course, saying "one or the other" is also incomplete. Human sexuality has a wide range with many options. It is possible, though I doubt it, that impulses that have hidden themselves even from you, are surfacing.

One of the social problems is that people tend to define homosexuality just by the third syllable of "sex." It is possible to feel affection or even attraction to other men without being homosexual.

And, trust me, very few people have ever "wanted" to be gay. It's just how we are.

A good therapist or counselor can help you sort out your feelings, and will not judge you for them. Be forewarned that many religious counselors will have an agenda and may not be the objective eye you need.

I wish you the best of luck in sorting out your emotions. It's not comfortable territory. If you don't mind, I'm sending you a mental cyber-hug -- even if it feels good, it doesn't mean you're gay.

Answer 3

It's hard to understand how you can say you have "uncontrollable impulses towards men" and then say "I don't fantasize about men, I don't have any urges to have sex other men"? Maybe the impulses are not as "uncontrollable" as you think?

If what you mean by "uncontrollable impulses" is simply that you prefer male companionship right now, that's understandable coming out of a long relationship gone bad.

Men need male companionship - more so when they're having problems with women, just as women seek female companionship, more so when they're having problems with men.

If you're not turned on by men sexually, I don't think you're in danger of "becoming gay". If you have any gay male friends, they can tell you the difference. If you're not turned on by them, they won't be turned on by you (kind of like hetero relationships).

Answer 4

You might consider counseling if this is a big problem for you. If you are not emotionally and sexually attracted to men then I would think there isn't a problem. Maybe you're tired of putting up with women and you just want to be around men for a while. Like girls do when they break up or get divorced from men, they don't even want to look at another man sometimes. I don't think you should consider this a curse, especially a God**** curse because God would not curse you. Hopefully you can figure this out and I wish you the best of luck, if you need anyone to talk to my email is [e-mail] Good luck!

Answer 5

Because it has been a "hard breakup", you feel that you can't trust women anymore.

About the guys: You see them doing things like sports, and hanging out with each other, but if you see yourself in the situation with them, you see sex.

Maybe you are gay and you deny any feelings because you think if you do, you WILL GO TO HELL. This isn't true. It is never good to deny yourself of the feelings you have, go and explore.

All in all, You haven't found the right person yet. Might be male, might be female. That is for you to decide.

Answer 6

If you don't really have feeling for men and have no sexual need to be with a man then you are not gay , You are probably just depressed and still emotionally unsettled from you break up with your girlfriend . You can't change your sexual orientation its something you are born with . Just like a gay man can't change who he is attracted to . It may help you to talk to a therapist and sort out the feelings you are having and it would help with the depression also . You can be depressed and not know it .

Answer 7

It's natural to get a little messed up after a breakup with a woman and you probably just have an urge to be close to someone but you are not gay. Take some time to get your head back together and get back on the dating scene and back in the race.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

you should calm down for one thing. look a bit more into these impulses. analyze them. see what the trigger is. all that good stuff. if you discover that these impulses are sexual and towards men, then you can either try out homosexuality and maybe be a bit cooler about it, or you could try shock therapy (if it's still legal) and get a false healing.

Answer 10

O:K, I was married for 12 years and had been faithful my whole marriage. I only dated women but now that I'm free I thought I may try the flip side. Its called bisexual. Your not messed up but don't be afraid to try something new. You won't die and who knows you may be a happier person. I have been to therapy and found no answers there. Relax and stop beating yourself up.

Answer 11

your probably not going to turn into a homo, you just have some emotional problems from the break up. you should probably see a theripest and talk about it. also just hang around a lot of girls and you'll get over pretty quick. good luck