When I picked him up he had orange hair, his eye brows were slighltly plucked, his mother is a hairstylist. We hate each other with a passion, I can't help but to think that she did this to him so that I would be angry. My son who is 11 years old, said he likes it, but I think he doesn't no any better. It is a very disturbing hairstyle. I would rather see a piercing somewhere on his face. Should I take care of this myself or am I overeacting? I am a very liberal person and enjoy some creativity and individualism, but I feel like this is too much.
2006-06-11 05:35:42 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He eventually got back to me and said that it was a lil extreme. I guess he got tired of everyone staring and saying something. So I told him we'll put some darker colors in it and trim it down just a lil. And when he gets back home, he can do what ever she likes with it. Thanks to all.
2006-06-12 04:55:44 · update #1
U SURE DO NOT SOUND LIBERAL !
U PASSIONATELY HATE HER !
curb u'r creativity , individualism and SPARE U'r son !!
2006-06-11 05:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by sεαη 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave things as they are and give your son the love and attention that he needs. Remember your love should be unconditional. This could just be a phase that he is going through. I remember that when I was first married my brother -in -law went through this very phase, every time I saw him he would have a different hair color. Just about every color of the rainbow he did try at some point. My point is that he did grow out of it because he wasn't getting the reaction that he thought he would get. I know it is difficult but remember the break up of your marriage did not just involve you and your wife. You son my have some guilt feelings that some how he is to blame for what did happen to his mother and father. This could be his way of expressing his anger. Try talking with him and listen to his side or his view points on things. You just might be surprised at what you will find out if only you take the time to listen.
2006-06-11 12:51:05 · answer #2 · answered by Sander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much, more like the in thing. Forget your animosity toward his mother and get to know your son, the child he is, the human he is, his likes and dislikes. Don't you remember going thru some "change" as you started to become an individual? The hair will grow out before the end of the summer and the eyebrows, too.
Spend your time enjoy your son. And remember, don't say negative things about his mother. The word is listen and learn!
2006-06-11 12:41:29 · answer #3 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear My son
I can understand that you feel this way that your wife is behind this, its only natural, because, as you say, you hate each other with a passion. Your son has something to do with it as well, she is not going to make him have ORANGE HAIR!!! Come on, kids like to experiment, you see it everyday. Is he into drugs?? If he isn't, just be thankful, that he is only coloring his hair, they all do it. Maybe you should be happy that he wants to spend some time with you, and see if you can change some of his ways, or just accept him for the person that he is!!!
2006-06-11 12:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you think this was her doing, the last thing you need to do is react! He's eleven. Be glad his mother is letting him try things instead of forcing stuff on him. If he says he likes it, then just accept that choice. Just enjoy your time with him. He'll be alot happier and comfortable with you if you don't make a big deal about the way he looks. And if she did do this for shock factor, you'll have won for not reacting!
2006-06-11 12:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All kids find a way to express themselves...if he's not embarassed i would leave it alone...its summer break let him have fun. Now if he was in school that might be a different situation. Ive seen other kids with bleached hair but orange might be too much. Kids know more than we think...
2006-06-11 12:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have had every hair color know to man, 28 pirecings at one time, and have gone from preppy to gothic to grunge. however, i was older than 11 years. if my children would like to start dying their hair ands stuff like that..i have already decided that that is fine, but they have to be at least 14 years old first, and they have to talk to me about it before they do it. and when they turn 16 if they want to get a body part pierced (besides ears-let that start at 12) then i have to go with them. I think 11 is a little young. it wouldn't be hard to change his hair color. however, you really need to talk to him. he really might like it. you also need to talk to your ex. you need to sit down and come up with a list of ground rules that you can both abide by. don't put your son in the middle of you and your ex. if he truely wants to keep his hair like that then make a deal with him. let him keep it like that in the summer, and then when he goes to school, he has to change it back to his orginal color. maybe he is trying to get attention. for what ever reason he or your ex did it. the most important thing is that you talk to him, and find out what he feels. your son is more important than your hate for your ex.
2006-06-11 12:49:02 · answer #7 · answered by searching4something 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should take him around to see other styles (dont mention it of course...). Just say hey we should go check out the new video game section at the mall...then just casually bump into a few stores and say hey this would look pretty awesome on you, wanna try it on? etc, etc...AND you can talk to his mother and say wow he looks pretty much how YOU would like him to look, you should let him try a few styles that are a little more manly...if she becomes offended just say hes your son to and you deserve a say.
2006-06-11 12:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Tic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont blame things on her if you are not there and you didnt see her do it. That look is kinda disturbing i agree so try to convince your son to have a makeover go to a salon with him and talk to the hairstyllist and tell him what your son wants to look like. If your son doesnt want to have a makeover and is happy with his look be happy for him and support what he wants in life as long as you know is right.
2006-06-11 12:41:20 · answer #9 · answered by bratgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your son likes it just make him uncomfortable with it, he will change it. start calling him your little pumpkin. my daughter was around that age when she dies her hair neon pink. a week of being called cotton candy, pinky tuskadero, ant the pink fruit loop, and her hair was a normal human color. not her own color but at least i could tolerate it. i'm sure a boy would hate to be called your lil punkin :)
2006-06-11 12:42:25 · answer #10 · answered by kristeena911 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand. You have to take care of the situation very gently. No use quarreling about this with ur wife. Instead be cool n take lead of the situation.
2006-06-11 13:56:34 · answer #11 · answered by Smile- conquers the world 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋