I know how much he wants to overcome this, but he can't seem to sleigh his latenight binging demons...even when he is not hungry. I know how much he starts to hate himself...we are so close and so in love...but the worse it gets, the more he keeps it all locked up. In result, he starts not liking himself, won't want to go anywhere, do anything except stay home and eat (he is a great cook) and watch tv. Going on dates is hard for us b/c he gets so stressed out in public. I have tried various forms of helping him; everything from tough love to blind support of his choices to setting a good example to asking him to pray with our preacher. I know what a fight this is for him...What is my role in helping him be who he wants to be? I am so in love with him...but how can I not get frustrated at the life I have had to quit living (dates, nights out, outdoor activities, etc) b/c he is trying to hide? (And yes, I have tried going out all on my own. It just makes him feel worse)
2006-06-11 05:27:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Has he had his throid checked? A simple bloodtest will be able to answer many questions. He may even have food allergies that cause him to binge on food. This is often triggered by stress, other food or drink, chemical imbalance in the brain or body, or heredity, just to name a few! If he isn't already doing so, he should be keeping a detailed journal/diary of everything that he eats & drinks. The times included, as well as how he is feeling and what he is doing prior to eating will be helpful if he wants to pinpoint his most "dangerous" binge times! Have you thought about letting HIM take care of this on his own? Since it sounds like his problems have become your problems, perhaps if you lightened your load by concentrating on yourself, he could gain some inner strength if he saw that his wife was happy doing things that did not require him to be her sole provider of happiness. You may want to explore some type of couples counseling, or go it alone in order to get a grasp on just what seems to making BOTH of you unhappy. Something is hiding beneath all of this & it will take some time & work to get it out to the surface before it can be dealt with. If you want to help him, you first must help yourself by becoming educated on your own strengths & weaknesses. He is an adult & so are you, & being a good wife doesn't mean that you must mother him, (as it sounds like you have been doing). You say that going out on your own makes him feel worse. How does it make you feel? He may be using his weight to manipulate you into staying with him, as you have become his security blanket. Please get some help before you end up in worse shape than he is in. This is a complex issue that can & will tear your heart to pieces if you continue to attempt surgery on a patient with no formal training, which in a way, is what you are doing. One of you has to take charge of yourselves if you are going to survive this & go on...with or without one another.
2006-06-11 07:19:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 13⤊ 5⤋
Your role is not to enable him. So, do not purchase the food that he needs to support this addiction. At least make him go to the store to get the goodies he enjoys.
If he really does not think he has a problem, then you can't help him. You ask...How can I show him it is hurting us both?...tell him it is hurting you. His actions are hurting you.
Did you go out a lot before? If so, what changed in your lives at the time he started the late night eating?
Does he have panic attacks? Panic attacks will cause a person to want to hide from the public and stay inside. It is very social disabling problem that can be helped tremendously with medication.
People eat for various reasons. Since he is not hungry when he behaves this way it suggests an emotional reason. Any one of these reasons can cause this or a combination of some of them:
1. Angry 2. Depressed 3. Bored 4. Escape 5. Instant gratification 6. Wants to gain weight to hide behind the fat
I hope this helps some with your situation. I would suggest he go see a doctor first. A medical doctor and explain exactly what he is doing. The stress in public, the late night eating when not hungry, and gaining weight. If he does not get help, he could gain enough weight to cause major health problems and death.
Good Luck to you both, and God Bless.
2006-06-11 05:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by susanmarie1900 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, looks likes he's a self depress and he faced this depression from his early life such as childhood and etc.. The best thing you need to do is make himself proud i might sound funny but do something that could make him proud. If he's not talking about his depression that he is hiding something from you so ask him. The staying home and eating you need to kick his *** and get outside because they represent that he is bored an have nothing to do.
2006-06-11 05:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by political 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please understand this, Your husband may have some underlying psychological problems that just may be the root to his over-eating problem.please remember that this is just a suggestion that may or may not be factual OK. But it an area that may need looking into.
2006-06-11 05:42:47 · answer #4 · answered by kilroymaster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard to figer out
2006-06-11 06:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by jamie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋