I was 17 when I married my husband. I love him very much. I have not been the best wife and I don't think that he has done his best. He joined the military we moved to Europe and had to be each others best friends. I feel like I missed out on being young and doing things that young people do I am 22 now and want to leave him to try new thngs get a job, make my own money take care of myself. We filled for divorce I still need him in my life he says we will still be friends but I do not know. what would you do move on and try something new or stay with what is safe?
2006-06-11 05:03:24 · 7 answers · asked by busybuzzbee2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have done some things that I regret doing and feel very guilty in the relationship.
2006-06-11 05:24:45 · update #1
You married at the same age I did, same military choice. And same feelings about missing out. I can tell you from experience that if you both still love each other, you need to stay married. Its hard going from teen to adult as a married woman. You might feel like you are missing out, but you aren't really. You know what girls our age are doing? College, boyfriends, lonliness, heartache from losing boyfriends or being cheated on, and being lonely because they aren't in a relationship.
The grass only looks greener on the other side, but it really isn't. It sounds like you both have gone through alot. If you want to have more fun, get some girlfriends and go to the Club on base for karaoke night. Its hillarious and alot of fun. Or get a job on base and interact with people more.
He didn't cheat on you, you didn't cheat on him. Neither of you are perfect. But I honestly think you'ld be happier with him that without him. You've been married 5 years. That's alot when you started at such a young age. Is he not worth keeping? Isn't your marriage worth holding onto? Please don't give up just because you aren't doing the 20's single scene. Its not near as exciting as tv and movies picture it. And right now you know you won't get an STD! Not so safe if you aren't in a committed relationship. Just please think hard before you sign those papers. I remember it being hard up until about the 7th year. Now its easier, but it still takes alot of effort( 8 1/2 yrs married now). But I'd rather be with my husband than without him. He thinks he robbed me of things (we married with an unplanned baby comming), but I'm glad it worked out like it did. Our baby showed us just how much we needed to be together. We are both the adults that we are today because of the person beside us.
2006-06-11 05:37:01 · answer #1 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you haven't missed out on anything. A matter a fact, sounds like you had great experiences with this guy (Living in Europe) that other ladies your age would never get to experience. I think you are a very lucky woman and ought to see your self that way.
BTW, you can try new thing and get a job and study and go to parties and find new friends while being married. When I look around, I see that the best relationships are the ones where both the wife and the husband have a career and each have their own friends and mutual friends. Getting married doesn't mean you lost your right to have all of that.
2006-06-11 12:57:57 · answer #2 · answered by Ladybug NH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you need to be on your own and enjoy being 22, I married young also and was pregnant when I was 21 I missed out on a lot. You dont want to have any regrets
2006-06-11 12:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by arizonabrat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Venturing out on your own does not require or demand drastic measures by either of YOU ! Think back to the time you both FIRST met and FELL IN LOVE, is the FEELING still there? Do you both still care for one another. If it's just an expansion of the MIND that you seek, consider your other OPTIONS, college goals, separate travel with girlfriends. One can always have separate and common goals in life and in any relationship.Remember that once things are broken, it is difficult to FIX AGAIN ! GOOD LUCK...
2006-06-11 12:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by skycloud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, You are still very young and maybe you guys rushed into marriage. You have to figure out what is your goals and does your husband help or hinder you from acheiving them. Are you guys interested in seeing other people?or is it just growing pains. But let's get one thing straight you don't "need" anyone, you still want him. He can't make you whole or complete you have to do that for yourself. I usually want couples to stay together and work out their differences, but in your case i would say that you both have a lot of growining up to do and its better to get out now before the children start cominge. However if you both still want to try to make it work i say go for it, but you both need to have other things in your life besides each other or in 10 years or so you will resent the relationship.
2006-06-11 12:17:40 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of 4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds very selfish I feel your life will be filled with regrets and "bad luck"
2006-06-11 12:15:49 · answer #6 · answered by tp3bop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever makes you happy
2006-06-11 12:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by halpinator36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋