Ashamed of me what should i do?

Question

I had op im well back on feet got enrolled for masters my mothers ashamed of me
1.my 2 cousins had babies she wont let me go to meet her niece(elder sis daughter)but she will let me go see my fathers nieces baby.
2.when someone asks what does ur daughter do?shell change subject or lie when infact im enrolled for masters now.
3.she doesnt want to take me out.
i feel now im walking its so good i can go out better when i had operation couldnt walk this was 2yrs back.I am moving out in few months until then I find it happening alot what should i do?What would u do when one u love is ashamed of you?

Background on my mother she was married off at 21 she dropped off college she worked all her life in profession she hates she doesnt think much of my father now hes retired shes ashamed of him too keeps putting him down all the time too

Answer 1

talk to your mother tell her how you feel and what shes doing is wrong.SET GROUND RULES FOR HOW PEOPLE SHOULD TREAT YOU IF THEY DONT TREAT YOU NICE BE DONE WITH THEM.TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED AND IF THEY DONT DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM.

Answer 2

Sometimes when a person, like yourself, is able to take themselves beyond what others in their family have achieved, the family reacts negatively. They don't like to see others succeed, because it only reminds them of their own failures and unhappiness. Some people will even try to sabotage your success by bringing up old issues and making you question whether you are deserving of happiness.

Let your mom know that you appreciate everything she has done for you. She has had a hard life with difficult decisions to make. Having to care for someone who is ill or injured takes a lot of sacrifice. She did the best she could with what she had, and it seems that you've turned out pretty well. Sometimes it's scary after having to be there for someone 24/7 and now you won't be around, so her self-identity is changing. So make sure she knows that you couldn't be where you are if it hadn't been for her, and that you won't forget about her as you move through your life's journey. Include her in your dreams.

Still, you have to proceed with care -- you must put yourself first, even if you're accused of being selfish -- no one else is going to do it for you. You are an adult, so how is it that your mother won't "let you" go see the baby? Why should she dictate what you do or "take you out". If you want to go out, then go out! You are not dependent on your mother anymore - there are many resources available for you.

Soon enough, you'll be in a position to take your mom out. Don't be manipulated, but try not to be disrespectful -- it's a very hard balancing act and you may often find yourself in those situations where you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. So, live your own life, and live it with dignity.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Does your mom actually say she is ashamed of you? If not then you are projecting. If so, find out what it was, and try to work through it.
Glad you're recovering from op, seemingly so well.
Ask your mom to stop talking about your dad and you negatively, that it is making you feel bad about yourself. She is inexcusably selfish in doing this.
When she lies in front of you to other people about you, she is showing you no respect. You can state at that time, I am sorry mom, but you are not exactly clear on that matter, and proceed to tell the truth.
If someone asks what her daughter does, and your present tell them yourself. You are your best advocate for all things. I would be proud that you were my daughter, you are overcoming a lot, and still making positive steps, and plans that will enhance your future.
Keep peaceful, and don't give her cause to be disappointed in you while you are home. When you move out in a couple of months, see your relatives she won't let you see now. Nothing is stopping you from sending cards, or calling in the meantime,is there?
How old are you?

Answer 4

You should sit down with your Mother and ask her what the problem is. Unless you are a total degenerate, then no parent should be ashamed. I have a son that got into trouble with the law, went to jail and rehab, but I was never ashamed......disappointed, but never ashamed.
You said you couldn't walk before the surgery....was this a long term thing? Is Mom just having problems dealing with the fact that you may not be dependent upon her anymore? Some people seem to have this weird response to their kids moving out or becoming self-sufficient.....they distance themselves to avoid to try to avoid or lessen the feelings of loss. Or depending upon your age, is she hoping that you will start a family instead of going for your Masters? Personally, I would be proud of you! Whatever the reason...TALK TO HER!!! The best source for the answer to this question is your Mother.
Best of luck

Answer 5

wow, your mom sounds a lot like mine, down to the tee. there's nothing you can do. my mother acts like she's ashamed of me as well. i had to learn to stop trying to be the person everyone else wants me to be and just be the person i am.you'll never be completely happy otherwise.since she's your mother, she should love you no matter what but if she doesn't that's her lose.good luck with your masters :)

Answer 6

talk to them see what is going on maybe they are just upset that you are moving out

Answer 7

I am not understand what you mean. Why is she ashamed?

Answer 8

that's weird i m sorry i don't understand