My friend is in love with me and I am in love with him but he does not want to have sex with me unless some financial incentive motivates him to have sex with me. He claims he does not want to have sex with me anymore after we have had sex twice, but he is still in love with me. I feel like I am dying from sexual frustration. He takes psych meds. Is he saying what he really wants and needs to say? Is the psych medicine causing his language to be distorted? I feel as though his love for me is true, but is he telling me what he needs and wants using the right verbal expressions? Could he actually want sex but be telling me the opposite of the truth as the result of the mind and voice discrepancy that could result from taking psych meds? Can a homosexual be in love with a man but not be sexually attracted to that man he is in love with? Can a heterosexual be in love with a person but not be sexually attracted to that person the heterosexual is in love with? Doesn't seem likely to me.
2006-06-11 03:39:02 · 11 answers · asked by BrightGuy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Yes, we all can be in love with many aspects of a person and not lust for them...it is an unsatisfying affair, at best. Your "friend" is looking for someone to take care of him, not a whole lot more. Relationships are built on less, I suppose. Not for me, not my diea of an affair...to each his own.
2006-06-11 03:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I guess you can. I know that after a while in a relationship, the sex dies down sometimes. However, I don't think I would fall for a guy or want to start a relationship if I didn't have a sexual attraction in the beginning.
You'll just have to decide if it's a relationship that will make YOU happy.
2006-06-11 12:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by huhwhat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love does not equal sex. Many couples (believe it or not) do not have full-out sex, but that doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore.
You said you've had sex twice, well, maybe from those two experiences he's decided he didn't like it, but he loves you enough to see that your relationship isn't driven purely by sex so he doesn't want to end anything.
I don't think the meds have anything to do with it, though. That's just being a tad paranoid.
2006-06-11 13:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by Belie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person can surely be in love with another person but not have sexual attraction to that person. In such a case, this is not reflective of a relationship defined by love as we know it. It could be mere wordplay by your friend, who is afraid to admit the truth to himself in the first place. Maybe he needs time to mull over your relationship with him - does he need you as a friend who takes care of him whenever he requires it? Does he want you as a lover, and would not be attracted to others sexually? Does he respect your passion? Given the situation he is into, you could give him benefit of doubt about his thought process. But then, you should also do the thinking on your part - what is it that you want out of a relationship. Does sex play an important role in it? Would you be able to control your own passion if this was to continue? Maybe you need to assure him that you will be there if he needs you, but also clarify to him what a relationship means to you. He needs to understand your needs as much as you need to understand his.
2006-06-11 13:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by Gaymes Last Orchestra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to understand that there are many kinds of love. I think you need to go back and decide if you love him that way. I love my best friend and always will and we've done many things together and he's gay and I'm female. We have a mental relationship where we talk and we feel good together but we're not physically attracted. As long as I'm there when he needs are want me we keep a good relationship. Try it, maybe he wants other things physically but your his mental see if ya'll can work something out. If not, then it's time to say good bye. I person that loves you won't allow you to suffer if they can prevent it.
2006-06-16 12:12:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mysteriously Known 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you older and he younger ? If so then he is looking for someone to support him , If not then you may not be what he wants in bed . He may have tried sex and just didn't feel that he is sexually attracted to you . You can love someone and be in love with someone but not be sexually compatible . That is sad but true .
2006-06-11 15:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that you have to be sexually attracted to someone to love them. It's never happened to me, but I think the inside is what counts.
2006-06-11 15:51:02 · answer #7 · answered by T. Emopire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any man can be in love with a man, but not sexually attracted to them. it happens many times. they are called dads and friends. the thing is, we specified the word love to be the sexual (or non-platonic) love. thus, we forget that there is another form of love called platonic love (or non-sexual love) that we share with our friends and family.
2006-06-11 17:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it can be so, i am in that situation now.....but the reasoning i think he offers other things and dynamics and emotions that bring that love
2006-06-12 12:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by camrondew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what disturbs me is that he does not want to have sex with you unless some financial incentive motivates him to have sex with you... be careful please
2006-06-18 03:17:22 · answer #10 · answered by Irene B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋