Is having a different rule about food in the family room for kids with a 10 y age diff. a double standard?

Question

My stepfather got on my 17 year old brother's back about eating in the family room, because his kids, our half-sisters, the eldest of whom is 6 1/2, aren't allowed to. The rule for him had, I thought, stood at 'no eating in the family room before the kids go to bed', which is what the adults in the house (me, mum and stepfather) do.
He accused Mum of holding a double standard for suggesting it wasn't fair that my brother follow the same rule as the little ones.

My brother usually cleans up after himself, the girls don't.

Who was right?

Answer 1

He's 17! You cannot have the same rules for the older ones that you have for the little ones. Your mum is right. It isn't fair to not let him eat in there when he is old enough to clean up after himself and he knows to be careful. It would be different if he did not clean up after himself and was making a mess. It sounds as if your stepfather is just upset because the little ones are his kids. Trust me, I am a stepparent and I get upset when my son is not given the same respect by my husband as my stepson gets.

Answer 2

First, I think it's up to the adults who own the house to decide what the rules should be. Your stepfather is presumably paying the bills while your brother isn't.

Having said that, I don't feel it's a double standard to have different expectations for a 17 yr old than one would have for a 6 yr old. It only makes sense that as a person begins to display more maturity and trustworthiness, you'd give that person more privileges (and responsibilities). The original rule that you indicated sounds completely reasonable to me, provided the 17 yr old has proven himself to be neat & tidy.

Answer 3

that is a sticky one. first of all the rule should have been explained that absolutely no one can or if you fall in this age then you can or can't. my rule is that the 10 and under group cannot, the teens can. the minute any one of them has an oops then they lose that privilege. period. i don't like bugs or mess by big people can clean themselves. the rule for a teen should not be the same for the 10 and under group. that's my opinion, give teens some type of credit for having common sense.