Should I leave him?

Question

The story is: He's been sick with a stomach problem (similar to ulcers) for quite some time, from taking ibuprofen too much for an old shoulder injury and other muscle/joint pain. I saw the stomach photos from the doctor, he had something bordering on an ulcer....BUT...we have not had sex in almost 8 months and I've been suspecting that the stomach issues are not as bad as he says. He says he feels 'gross' or 'not in the mood' The doctor said, with the medicine, "he should be better in a week or two" and this has not happened. I have no reason to believe he's cheating, since we live together and also get along just fine otherwise. I'm growing weary of waiting for a normal sex life, and I know I'm ot bad looking (but I'm not the size 4 I was when we met). Please help me understand what is really going on! We've known eachother for just about a year and a half...but almost 10 months of it have been like this!

Okay, to the first response, I've probably gone from a size 4 to a size 6/8...no longer skinny (for me) but not too fat either, right? Maybe this is my problem after all?

Answer 1

I don't know you, the human psyche is a very complicated and complex thing.... there's an INFINITE number of reasons he could be acting this way. Frankly, I don't see you going from a size 4 to a size 6/8 is the problem. Unless you were 3'5". I'm getting the feeling/idea that this is more psychological than physical. Sure, there's physical evidence that there's something wrong(ulcer like symptoms) and he's been treated for it. He should be fine. But, it sounds like there's something going on in his head that he may not be aware of that is manifesting itself as physical symptoms.

What I'm talking about is a Somatoform disorder. My fiance has one; he's had a VERY hard life and every once in a while, something will happen or he'll get really stressed out about something (that will remind him of horrible experiences in his past) and he'll get sick and our love life will suffer. When we first started dating, we went from making love every single day to not getting ANY for a month and a half. It's no where near your 10 months, but.... well, you deserve a medal (that month and a half was Hell for me.... I feel your anquish). Maybe instead of trying to just treat the physical symptoms, you should talk to him about his past and childhood for any clues? Maybe this is more about treating something psychological that no one is seeing right now?

Good Luck, hun. Don't leave him just, yet. He's probably going through something that no one has thought to think of and needs the support of those closest to him.

(BTW- I am sooo not a doctor. I just paid really close attention in Psych 101)

Answer 2

Talk to him. Maybe there is something wrong you dont know about. If he is sexually ignoring you , then there is something on his mind. Going from a 4 to a 6 is not even close to being a big deal. I went from a 8 to a 16 in 3 years! Communication is the key!

Answer 3

size 4 to size 16 in 10 months? and you cannot figure this one out on your own

Answer 4

it could be that you're not the size 4 that you were,but that would be a pretty poor excuse or maybe through his sickness he has ED and is too embarrassed to tell you,You should look him straight in the eyes and ask him to please be honest with you.Wait till he says"OK" before you ask him what the problem is.If you continue before he says yes then he won't feel obligated to tell you the truth

Answer 5

i think you should talk to him frankly.there is surely something in his mind that you dont no about.

Answer 6

luk gal..
y don u ask him directly ki wat the prob is.. and the way he react or ans the ques will tell u eveyrthin u wanna kno..
best of luk

Answer 7

leave