How can I deal with people who are scared of me ?

Question

All my friends and my close family members told me that my greatest gift is being intelligent and powerful and I have no fear. I thoight that this would be enought to get me what I want but actually these gifts are working against me as employers are scared to hire me and girls are scared that I can never be under control and I am the one who will always be in control. I don't want to control anyone I just want a 'normal life' without people bossing me around and trying to control me Any ideas ? The problem is that every time I meet someone that doesn't know me they always jump on the defense and most of the time the offensive.

Answer 1

well, ottowamickey, intelligent is great but where does the powerful come in and what kind of no fear do you have?
these are for you to answer for yourself.
powerful and fearlessness are not gifts and that attitude about yourself is probably abrasive.
as to employers they want team players and if you think you're an island, you're not what they're looking for. you said you dont want to be bossed around but employers are bosses.
girls are intuitive. and often just plain ol right, especially if it is a consensus.
with people in general, intelligence can be used to cover up a different aspect of yourself. people may not figure that out about you if it is true for you, but they certainly dont want to converse with a know it all. choose your words wisely, as well as your battles.(debates) become a listener. not a hearer, a LISTENER. and while you are listening...listen to yourself as you speak.

be kind, man.

Answer 2

Do you act like a know-it-all? Do you boast? Do you give people 'helpful' suggestions on how to run their lives? All these things are annoying, and a big turn off. Mind you, it's great to have self-confidence, and to stand up for yourself, but sadly, that isn't always possible in the real world. Sometimes you have to make compromises that you may not like to get ahead...if you give a little to others, then they will give back. You'll get a lot further with kindness than with a cocky attitude. : )

Answer 3

Sounds like the problem is in your presentation. Are you physically a large man? Sometimes a man who is large will intimidate people, but you say they get defensive and you don't like being bossed around. I would think that you may present yourself exactly as they are percieving you! I am not certain who you could see to help you learn some new techniques for presenting yourself to people, but it might be worth a look, huh?

Answer 4

You are projecting some kind of frightening vibe. Talk to a close friend and find out what you are doing unconsciously and work to change it. Lots of big strong men have a gentle and appealing side that is evident to everyone.

Answer 5

Try to come off more subtle...you need to learn how not to be over bearing with the people you meet. Ask your self if you give off strong vibes...if you do let go and try to calm down a little...in time people will like you, it happened to me on numerous occasions. Treat people how you want to be treated!

Answer 6

Let go of the idea of control or being controlled. be love and acceptance unconditionally.lose yourself to find your self.

Answer 7

there are times when you should be quiet and humble, just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you need to speak it. use wisdom. be confident not overly aggressive about what you know. it can be intimidating to people who know less than you. try being humble.

Answer 8

I don't think the problem here is that you are intelligent or fearless. Perhaps the problem is ATTITUDE.

Answer 9

Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's as simple as that.

Answer 10

it is probably the way you carry yourself while you are around other people.. just chill and show that you are fun and are not power trippy.