I can’t leave
By saisai
Let it be known I can’t leave you alone. You tell me your through and scream I hate you. But at the end when night falls I’ll be the one you try to call. Apologizing for what you said because what you said you never meant. Well I tell my self each time you bring me down each time you yell. I am not going to let it happen anymore. I said to myself I’d be the one to walk out that door. But baby in my sadden days you were my only sunshine when there was rain I can let you go. Even when we fuss even when we touch I can’t get enough my mother said leave him now. But I stay bound cause I wont let love let me down.
2006-06-10 16:36:39 · 11 answers · asked by Saisai 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It's good but sad because your living it , you need to know when Love lets you down it was never really love. Life is telling you to move on to proceed to the next level, where true love is waiting somewhere, just don't jump too fast because true love is like true friendship. True friendship is like a diamond. Its rare but precious false friendship well it is like fall leaves beautiful to look at but gone with just a slight breeze.
2006-06-10 16:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Justa Countryboy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I do believe its really good. I would think about rephrasing this sentence: Well I tell my self each time you bring me down each time you yell, it doesn't really make sense. This is constructive critisism, I think its amazing. I feel bad, though, because you are living this. Love will let you down many times, but once you find the one, you know. It's not going to be someone that yells at you, or that you have to apologize to for what they said.
2006-06-10 23:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by HCW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really good! My favorite lines are the very first and very last sentences. Very good poem! Keep up the good work!
2006-06-11 00:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by blakefabian2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like that poem You should go to poertysoup.com and make ur poem public
2006-06-16 23:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont know about the poem but he doesn't sound like a keeper
2006-06-10 23:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Clyde 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was ok, check out my profile to see some of my poems and tell me what you think
2006-06-11 16:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by Sammy Hagar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it sounds more like a song.
2006-06-11 12:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is a very good poem, i write poems myself and you have a very special talent. p.s. your poem was very sad and emotional
2006-06-11 00:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by asd_anarchyprincess91 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going thru the same thing so i like it
2006-06-11 00:26:02 · answer #9 · answered by dazed and confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(clap,clap) (tear ,) that was beautiful cause i feel the same. u have a gift from GOD.
2006-06-11 22:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by minime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋