A disagreement, not an arguement:?

Question

My daughter is expecting her second child in December. Her first child will be two in August. She saved all of her baby stuff. But thinks that she should still get to have another baby shower. I told her no, that is only for the first child. We need some opinions... Who do you think is right?

Answer 1

I wouldn't do a shower. She's got everything she needs. But what I would do, is a traditional blessingway. This is an ancient Navajo ceremony, but many other cultures (actually...most cultures) do something to the likes of this. It's a get together ceremony where mothers, sisters, woman-friends, daughters, etc etc get together to celebrate a mother's coming into motherhood - whether it is her first time, or her sixth, this is a wonderful way to help prepare a woman for her birth.

I was recently at a blessingway for a woman's fourth baby. There were no big gifts exchanged (since obviously there was little that she needed) - but a bunch of mothers getting together. We had a potluck and (secretly) each made or brought a bead and then sat together in a circle and each woman strung a bead onto a necklace and explained why they made/brought that bead, and just gave her some encouragement, advice, love. It was really beautiful. So a blessingway is really more about surrounding mom with positive energy for her birth (and of course giving everyone a chance to fawn over her, maybe give her a foot soak or something!)

Also, something that I liked that was done for me at my shower (which I now wish was a blessingway now that i know about it!) was have everyone that attended write a message to us or our baby in a book so we could keep it. I still cry when I read some of them!

Answer 2

I do not see why one child can get a baby shower but the second one cannot.. Why should the second child settle for second hand stuff??? Every child is different, and every child should be treated equally as a new life and be celebrated and expected with the same emotions and excitement that the first received. It does not matter the if this is the first, second, or third., it is a new life, new child, new pregnancy, therefore, it should be celebrated and he/she should have her OWN new stuff that people who love him/her and are expecting him/her to come to the world and see that they were here waiting for her... It is so beautiful once the baby is born and you put on or use the things that were brought in the shower and you take a picture of the child with it and take it to the person that bought the gift, so they can see how beautiful the baby looks.... I am sorry, but I simply feel that is so wrong and yet so sad, because it seems that one pregnancy is being put for less than the other...

Answer 3

A baby shower is a celebration of new life, a chance for friends and family to get together and share joy with each other. Why would you not want to do this. Besides that what makes a second child any less of a joyous occasion then the first. If someone wants to throw her a shower I say by all means do it, besides that it really isn't up to you, unless she is asking you to throw it for her. As for the things that she had saved form her previous child, are the children of the same gender, does she know. Even if they are or she doesn't know, a new mom can always use things like bottles, diapers, etc. or things that she may not have had for the first, but would like to buy or receive for her second. Besides that it isn't mandatory to receive gifts at a shower, it could be just a gathering of close friends and family to have fun and celebrate. Hope I've given you both a few things to think about good luck, and God bless you, your daughter and your new grandchild.

Answer 4

Second children baby showers are becoming more and more popular. A few years ago, you would have been correct, but now I would have to agree with your daughter. Every new baby deserves a celebration! I've been to several "Bibs and Bottoms" showers where the gifts are not expected to be as lavish as with a first baby, mainly bibs, diapers, sleepers and such. Things that get stained easily and worn out by a first baby. If the mom is expecting a baby of a different sex the second time around, people are also asked to bring clothes in the needed color. Good luck.

Answer 5

Why would you only have a shower for the first baby? So what if she had one already. People are going to give the new baby gifts right? Why not let them do it at a party? Your daughter is with child and needs lots of attention right now. How dare you deny her a baby shower. That seems totally selfish to me. If you are too cheap to throw one for her that is crazy. Why make the new child have hand me downs. Imagine that page in the baby-book. A blank page. Nice....and what if she has the opposite sex. Then she will need different stuff. Think of things to get her that wouldn't be reused. Diapers, wipes, bottles, pacifiers, nice outfits, rattles, stuffed animals, etc.... Shame on you grandma!!!

Answer 6

I have two kids two years apart and i got two baby showers. But I think it was just because one was a boy and the second was a girl. And everyone knows its her second so they know not to get her a bouncer or a stroller or anything she already has. But it would certainly help the girl to get a few outfits to replace the first child's old stained ones. Or a couple packs of NB diapers. There are plenty of gifts she can use without duplicating ones from the first shower. True typically you wouldn't get a second shower,but times have changed and you as her mother should give her more support and not negativity. If your the one throwing it and just want help you should get together w/ some of her friends and ask for help.Plus you don't want to look bad when her friends throw her one because you didn't want to. Plus there fun! COME ON MOM PLEASE!

Answer 7

I think she should have another shower i had one for my second child. I think that if she has all her baby stuff she is still going to need diapers and new clothes they cant always were hand me downs. And there are many little things that a mother needs to make a second child feel just as special as the first. Baby book things like that everything cant be a hand me down.

Answer 8

If her first was a girl and her second is a boy. Then throw a small bot shower. If they are both the same sex, then you don't need to throw another shower. But maybe have a girls day, where you and her, or sisters, or friends go and have lunch or get a pedicure. Having a baby is special whether it is your first, second, third or eigth. Make her feel special and that the baby is wanted and welcomed. But you don't have to throw a full out shower. Most people wouldn't come to a second child shower anyways.

Answer 9

I think that it is fine to have a shower for a second child. My first child had 3 different showers and the invites for all of them are in her baby book. I would think that my second child would feel less important and unwanted if there were no shower invitations her her baby book. Plus showers are fun and it is a great way to celebrate a new baby.

Answer 10

I think baby showers are cool for every baby. If she still has all the stuff from her first child she can just ask for diapers and wipes! You can never have too many of those! Wipes especially. I plan on planning a baby shower for my second child. I had a baby shower that was sprung on me during the seafood department christmas party (where I worked at Wal-Mart). I think baby showers can be done as many times as you want. It is a time for a mom to be to CELEBRATE!

Answer 11

Today it's unusual not to have a baby shower for each child. It use to be that the shower was given for the first child as an acknowledgment of a woman passing onto another part of her life (becoming a mother) but today it's a celebration of a new child.