If you have had an affair, should you tell your partner before you or they die?

Answer 1

Although every situation can be different it is my belief that truth is the answer, period. My wife and I were married for 17 years and I had an affair. It was a one night stand while on a business trip. However, the fact is, I cheated on the woman I vowed to stay true to. I came home and told her, as hard as that was on her I knew I had to reveal what I had done. Without going into extended detail my marriage ended. We have 3 wonderful boys that, by the choice I made, were victims of a broken home.
My wife and I remarried after 2 years of divorce. The truth set me free, yet in the meantime, (those 2 years from hell), I was miserable.

When you withhold such a deep dark secret from your spouse I do not believe your relationship will ever be what it is intended to be. There is a spirit of darkness that comes with betrayal. The bright side of confession is forgiveness. While it is not "automatic" it is well worth pursuing forgiveness, regardless of the risk. I cannot end this reply without saying this. Only through the love of Christ, His forgiveness, my wife's forgiveness and the desire to not let the enemy destroy our family can I write about how confession lead to a new life. His word is true. I have a wife and 3 boys around our home as I write that are living proof.

Best,

~Jimmy

Answer 2

An affair is never right. However I do feel that there might not have been an affair if there weren't problems in your marriage aklready. Look inside yourself to see what is missing from the relationship. Everyone needs to feel loved & needed.

Answer 3

My spouse passed away almost 3 months ago. No, I didn't tell him & I think it was the right thing to do. Although I truly believe I should have told him before it happened, or at least shortly afterward. But why burden him with that now? Only to clear your own conscieous? Think about what you are doing before you do it. Chances are if you feel guilty or have to lie about it, maybe you shouldn't be doing it!

Answer 4

I guess that would depend on the other person? would he or she become violent,or sucidal maybe paranoid, do they believe that there is nothing wrong in the relationship? is the other person a family member or friend to the family? or at the very least a mutual friend?if you answered no to all of the above then tell him or her, if your conscious allows for you to, you most of all know this person better than any of us so use your better judgement, but yes tell him he probally deserves it.

Answer 5

Yes you sure should and we should always be honest and not hide things. Honesty is the best policy ... I would if it was me or it would eat me up inside and haunt me until the day i or they die. I would feel aweful bad about hiding this especially if they were to die and i could never make it right to or by them!

Answer 6

No. Never. Die Happy.

Answer 7

It depends on whether or not you are willing to face the concequences and if you could live with yourself if you didn't tell your spouse. I would divorce my husband before I would cheat on him

Answer 8

No all you are doing is making your self feel better . Let them die in peace or live in peace.

Answer 9

I Think all people should keep it real with each other. Fair is fair, if it were the other way around would'nt you want to know?

Answer 10

put you in your partners place . in my opion wouldnt you want to know the truth yes you would . you had the gall to do it now be big enought to tell it my opion yes you realy need to tell this matter my opion . yes you shold ..