I need help. I'm in a marriage that I know is going south, but she is in denial. I am totally miserable. I have no friends because she has run them all off. I have no family to go to because they are 700 miles away. and she wont allow me to call them I can't do anything that cost money. She has money but I can't use it or ask for any. I work and pay the bills, so my money is always gone. I am in no ways a wimp. I try to keep peace for my kids. and even they can see how its affecting me.
2006-06-10 14:24:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to sit down and talk to her - be honest with her. If you both make money, both of your salaries should be used to pay the bills - not just yours. The fact that she won't let you call your family is ridiculous. Tell her that you feel your relationship has some issues and you would like to get into counseling. It sounds like you might have better luck getting into counseling and letting a counselor help you both work on your marriage - and also work on these crazy issues your wife seems to have.
In the meantime, talk to her, get into counseling, and get yourself a cell phone. Most cell phone plans include free long distance and the plans are reasonable - and with your cell you can call your family/friends until you can get this whole crazy wife not letting you use the phone thing figured out. Without a shadow of doubt you should definitley seek out a counselor - not for you but for her. You might wanna just say it's for your marriage - but the counselor will see whats up and will work with her to help with her issues.
2006-06-10 14:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First you need to take control. She has made a wimp out of you and letting her continue s the boss will only cause your children harm. It will be hard to set her back on the right path but the time has come to show her who has the nuts... If a separation is needed then cut down on what you pay and make her use some of the money she has. The assets of the marriage are supposed to be shared not one pay for everything. Grow up and assert yourself. It could be she needs a strong jolt to get back to reality. Making her pay some bills will start the change. Lay out the household expenses and compare what you and her have to handle them. Split the bills so both of you will have money to do things with. Her not allowing you to call is real garbage. What are you handicapped?? Act like a man and show your kids a marriage is cooperation not domination.
2006-06-10 14:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by old codger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with her and let her know how you feel here. I understand she is in denial but you need to sit down and talk with her calmly and see what you and her should do to try and make this marriage a better one and work on it together. You need to seek counseling and help to see what steps to take here and see if she is open to going to marriage counseling with you. She needs to help pay bills if she is working for sure and does she help support the kids? I am here if you need to talk more and how did she run all of your friends off?
2006-06-10 15:51:31 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage counseling. If that doesn't work you may want to discuss moving closer to home. Maybe you could ask her to help with at least some of the bills so that you can have a little spending cash and maybe go out one a week or a month.
2006-06-10 16:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by mrsseifer736 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a vehicle which runs on two wheels tho facing each other..runs uniformly in a regular pace. If one wheel does not work, either it is repaired or removed and/or replaced. Well, that is the pith and substance. Either you need to work to correct the by letting her know alls not fair in love and war and how it can be corrected or else remove yourself from the misery so that she will realise the values of a missing wheel and in case that does not work....it is time to replace the wheel this time the opposite one. Kids are very intelligent and will learn to realise it all....
2006-06-10 16:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by krisquery 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First suggestion...Take care of the paycheck yourself and put her on a budget. Sounds like she gets to enjoy the extras after the bills are paid instead of sharing with you. And if she don't like your friends, start having a life outside of her, make and keep your friends and if she b*tches, tell her she is on a need to know basis, and your friends she doesn't need to know.
You need to start taking the upper hand here (i'm not saying get abusive now) and put her in her place.
Let her know where u stand, what you want to see changed, and if she isn't willing to work with you then show her the door, and in the meantime I'd start keeping a journal of how she is around the kids in case she does decide to go and take them. If she's this way with you I can only imagine how she is to them.
Talk to them and get any info from them on how she is to them, this is not just your plight, it is theirs too.
Good luck
2006-06-10 14:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by hisladytish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did say you were an adult. I don't think so. Marriage is a two way street. It sounds like you are one of her children and not her husband. I'm surprised she hasn't sent you to your room when you misbehave. All joking aside, I think it's time you walk your butt down to the corner store and go to the payphone. Call your family collect. Find some of your friends you say she ran off. And most of all grow a backbone. Then when you have accomplished all that, it's time to pack your things and say GOOD-BYE
2006-06-10 15:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the head of the house-hold not her. Be that and don't pay much attention to what she say. She had her time now it is your or just leave her and probably she will undertsand.
Good luck and all the best i know what u mean in wanting to get out.
2006-06-10 14:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for one months dont pay the bills or anything and contact your family or explain to her how you are feeling or get a divorce and just take care of your kids caz u cant stay in a relationship in which there is no love its not worth it
2006-06-10 14:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there done that and what i did was came up with an excape plan i took so much money out of my check each time i got paid and i brought phone cards that cost 10.00 to call my family to see if i could come back their if i needed to or if they could help me out and i stuck to my secret plan and i got my divorce from him its not going to get better i dont care what you do its never enough
2006-06-10 14:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋