What is the problem with keeping my maiden name after marriage?

Question

I am a 23 year old professional woman. I went through high school, undergrad and law school with my last name and just because I get married, I am not going to change it. In public, I can be called "Ms. Whatever" but officially, I worked hard for under my maiden name, not my husband's.

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with keeping your maiden name! If he gets testy about it, ask him to take YOUR name!

Or:
I've seen couples take both names, and you could use your name first, then his, and he could use your name first, then his.

I see no reason why women have to lose their identity after marriage!

Answer 2

I am a 26 year old professional man. I went though high school, and college with my girlfriend, and just because I get married to some other woman, I am not going to give up my girlfriend. In public I can be seen as married, but officially, I've worked hard to get this girl, not my wife....


O.K. This may sound like an over-exaggerated example, but the whole reason behind the name change is commitment. Marriage shouldn't be just a step or goal in life, but one of the main reasons for life. You worked hard in school, but for what? For money? For a career? For happiness? You have to decide what it is that will truly make you happy. Hopefully this person whom you have chosen as a lifetime partner will do that for you, but only if you both want it and are willing to give up certain things. Marriage isn't easy, as nothing that is worth having is, but it will be worth it.

So I guess my comment is basically that, yes you've worked hard under your maiden name, I'm sure, but are you willing to work even harder under your married name?

Answer 3

I do not see a problem with keeping your maiden name. It is an old custom that is dying hard in the world that a woman takes her husbands last name when she marries.
FYI In Las Vegas your name is not automatically changed, you have to file to change your name.

Answer 4

Well if you feel that strongly about it then stick to yor guns...there is nothing wrong with keeping your maiden name it just isnt traditional (but in this day and age who does anything the traditional way anymore?)
Alot of people hate to change thier name out of loyalty to thier own family (especially if one of the parents is dead) there a million reasons why someone wouldnt change thier name...so dont feel bad...but make sure you find a guy who wont be offended.

Answer 5

Hon, there should be NO problem with keeping your maiden name - unless your new husband has a problem with it ... if that's the case, then it's his problem. If he loves you, it won't matter. If you want to spare his feelings, have you thought about using your maiden name and your married name - HYPHENATED? A lot of women do that these days. Good luck.

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with keep your maiden name after you are married. :) A lot of women uses a hypen between their maiden name and married name (like "Thurner-Smith"). However, there are women who divorced either went back to their maiden name or kept their married name (my manager is one of them).
Do whatever you want to make you happy -- if your husband doesn't object, you can still keep your maiden name while married. :)

Answer 7

I understand what you mean and I really support it. I hope to keep my name, as my boyfriend was adopted by his german stepfather and has a horrible last name now. Haha. I'm mean.

Many men won't have a problem with you keeping your name, but it's when you have children that it gets tricky. Like, would your kids have your name or his? Or would they be something like smith-jones? And then, you will argue over who's name comes before the hyphen... because it will mostly be shortened.

Tradition is such a pain!

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with that. It used to be very traditional, however, it is now acceptable for women to keep their maiden name. I say keep it... it is a lot easier than having to go back to school and request updated credentials.

Answer 9

Nothing is wrong with it. I plan on keeping my maiden name. At the most i will add on my husband's name with my maiden.

Answer 10

I too felt like you for the longest time.

I am proud of my family and my family name and felt that it would be like losing part of my identity to take my husband's name once I married. I tossed uop the idea of the double barrelled option, which I'm not really a huge fan of either.

In the end, after much thought, I came to the conclusion that I would take my husband's name. He too, is proud of his family name and he is also proud of me. He said that he would feel most honoured if I took his name and, in turn, I wanted to honour him by deeming his name worthy enough for me to take it on.

For most girls it's not even something they think about I guess, but for me, and obviously for you, there is a lot to think about!

Answer 11

Is he tweaked about it? If not, there's no problem. Alot of people keep thier maiden names for that reason. He needs to understand why.