I am wid a guy frm da past 5 yrs...we have been madly in love...but the thing is the idea of having sex really scares me...well, I told him this and he understands...how long can I keep him waiting?...What do I do to overcome my fear? Should I give it a try? Will it pain or bleed?
2006-06-10 10:12:26 · 13 answers · asked by lil angel 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I am not that young! Well, I am 23 and we are planning to get married soon.
2006-06-10 10:19:36 · update #1
I am afraid of getting pregnant and we plan to make love after gettin married...the thing is dere is a weird scary feelin about it...what is sex all about?
2006-06-10 12:21:42 · update #2
sorry! I mean I am NOT afraid of getting pregnant...juss a mistake! *
2006-06-10 12:22:41 · update #3
Dang gurl! Five years? Give it up already!!
2006-06-11 01:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take you time. Sex is sex and making love is different; sex is "just doing it" with any person that "I like" or "because I love him or her" making love is more of an emotional thing because there is value to the actual act of it. Yes there is some discomfort but there are other emotions that come from it like pleasure, fear, getting lost in the moment; bleeding comes if you are still pure. Sex will change the relationship and this change can present difficulties for the person that gets or feels abused by the other. Usually, it is the guy that wins in this situation and the girl loses everything.
I ask my students (high school soph, Jrs. and Srs about who wants a virgin as a wife, the guys raise their hands, I also ask them if they would marry a girl that has been around, they say no. If he can wait just wait. It is always your choice to act.
2006-06-10 18:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by Lifeline 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey all I have to say is screw everyone in here and their negative replies! Your 23 and haven't had intercourse? Thats awesome! I am also willing to bet that not only does your boyfriend respect you and your decision but he's probably proud. I waited until I was almost 21 and I swear I felt like the only virgin in college but it's nice to see I am not the only WOMAN with MORALS and VALUES. Good for you...but to answer your question, it may hurt. It didn't hurt me-ex had a pinky dick if ya know what I mean :) My mom made sure to remind me growing up how painful it was and I think that was a big factor of whether I had sex or not. I was not only afraid of the pain but of my mothers wrath. She died and still I chose not to. So again yes it may hurt and you may bleed but every girl/woman is different. How long until you get married? See the one common misconception about saving yourself until marriage is that when a virgin couple get married (or atleast the woman as a virgin) they are expecting an amazing night of passion and it doesn't really happen quite like that. There can be pain, bleeding and just overall confusion so it may not be as enjoyable. But I have heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-some say its awesome-others wish they wouldn't have waited. I personally think you have proved yourself to yourself and your boyfriend (not that you need to) and if your ready than go for it. Good luck to you in all you do!
2006-06-10 18:12:20 · answer #3 · answered by blondieblue98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you and respects you he will wait until you are either ready and or married.. do not do it just to make him happy or whatever else.. do it for you when you are ready and comfortable enough it is not something to take lightly at all. It is a huge step and you can not get your virginity back. Everyone's first time is way different for some it hurts and for others it doesnt so no one can tell you what to expect you will eventually find out on your own.
2006-06-10 17:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey friend. Have you had bad experiences with men in the past? Not sexually but just bad relationships or what not. Um some things you could try before the big day is masturbating. Getting to know your own body before you let somebody else get to know it. I know it probably sounds weird and what not but if you masturbate and get your body used it penetration on your own it won't be as scary on your first time with your husband. Try some oral sex and foreplay with your husband before you actually have sex. Take it slow and a little bit at a time.
Good luck friend!
2006-06-17 14:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by misses e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? that will make a difference here.
..........ok you are 17... and u know this guy 5 years and you are completely in the dark about sex.
There may be some slight discomfort and bleeding the first time if the hymen(cherry) is still intact. this is normal and is nothing to really worry about. start slow, try masturbation first. then you will know more about what to expect.
2006-06-10 17:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are you scared of? Getting pregnant? If you don't feel ready, then don't do it. But if you think you have some abnormal fear of sex for no real reason maybe seek counselling before marriage. It's only fair to your fiancee as well as yourself.
2006-06-10 18:56:31 · answer #7 · answered by Paul F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey
simply tell him what you think an that you dont want to yet. if he has a hard time understanding this then maby you should rethink your relationship. if he has a hard time understanding you now then you could be in for some major problems when you get married. i hope everything turns out okay!
2006-06-10 20:11:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very young. Tell him your religion demands that you wait until marriage to have sex.
2006-06-10 17:16:23 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from the looks of your question I'd say you're about eight. I would wait till you're a bit older.
-Duo
2006-06-10 17:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Duo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋