I have two step sons and they are 10 and 13 and want to live with their dad but the mom wount let them. If he goes to court and the boys tell them who they want to be with, how much does their decision play in the case?
2006-06-10 06:55:51 · 28 answers · asked by none 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
By the way I live in California.
2006-06-10 07:18:01 · update #1
It is so hard to answer this question because every situation is unique. But I will give you some good news....THE almost exact thing happened to me 13 years ago in Florida. My step-children were VERY much younger than your step-sons, (mine were 5 and 3). Both mom and Dad wanted them, BUT believe it or not the kids wanted Dad.
And of course, bio-mom ranted and raved that they only wanted Daddy because "he spoils them", "he never disciplines them" etc. And being 13 years ago we just assumed that being mom and the kids being so young, the courts would simply award custody to mom. Guess again!
We were blessed with a judge that actually believed in doing what was best for the KIDS and he did something awesome! He split custody between both homes while he had us all undergo therapy, investigations by DCF, personal interviews with teachers, co-workers, family and neighbors. Long story short, he awarded my husband with SOLE custody with shared parental responsibility (which means she was and is also financially responsible for her off spring)
All I can say is that this judge was a fortune teller because it has been a long time since those courtroom drama days and I'll tell you what....this "biological mother" to my step-children has totally abandoned them! And not because we have custody! She has had 2 more kids and did the same. No birthday cards! No phone calls! No Christmas morning "hello how are you?" conversations! Disgusting.
Hire a Great attorney, have faith, keep positive, and believe that there are still people out there that want what is best for those two boys. And if THEY want to be with Dad...that HAS to be said in court and trust me, it will weigh heavily on the judges decision!
Good luck and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
2006-06-10 08:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by MaHaa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know about California, but in most states, the average age that a child can go to court to decide who he or she will live with is 13 or 14
2006-06-10 15:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by hannamoor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check your state laws where you live. I know where I live if the child is 12 or over they can have a say where they want to live. I know that here they apply a Guardian At Lit-em which is a person looking out for the child's interests and they look into both homes and give the judge there recommendation. You should also have your own lawyer.
2006-06-10 14:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by twinsmakesfive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in some situations. If the child is under 18 they do not have any choice in the court of law of who they want to be joined in court with. If they are over 18, they can make that decision. It also depends on which adult was involved in the situation and might lead the child to testify wrongful.
2006-06-10 14:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 10 year old is up to the court. The 13 year old can choose which parent he wants to live with. The boys need their own lawyer to fight for their rights. Good Luck!!
2006-06-10 14:00:46 · answer #5 · answered by HCW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the state. In mine (Alabama), the child has to be 14 (about there, might be off a year or two) before they can directly say who they want to live with. Until then, the decision is based pretty much on other factors.
2006-06-10 14:12:38 · answer #6 · answered by erythisis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Overall their testimony may help but will not play a huge factor in the case. The fact is a child cannot make the decision as to who they can live with till they are at least 16, at least that is the way it is in N.Y. state. Though their testimony couldn't hurt.
2006-06-24 02:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by t-bomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the judge. Sons usually likes to live with dad. Getting sons to go to court may be the last resort, but it will turn things very ugly.
2006-06-10 14:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by A. Francis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that in Illinois, the child has to be 12 or 13 to decide which parent they want to live with...Other than that, I'd say talk to your attorney!
2006-06-21 15:06:56 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, kids can even divorce both parents, this happened back in 1999 in Michigan with a 12 year old boy.
2006-06-10 14:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋