I did not betray a friend's trust, but she thinks I did, how can I make her change her mind ?

Question

One of my friend told me a thing about other person, who was bad mouthing about me. I did not confront the other person who was on one hand being nice to me but on other hand sending emails to people on my actions, and trying to picture me as a person who has no moral ethics or code of conduct ? I however asked a simple question on Y!A on whether one should trust a friend who betrays you? The person got the idea and she told my friend. My friend thought I had betrayed her trust and broke of a wonderful exchange of thoughts and friendship. In her words "i would never make yahoo a priority over people,that is sick, yahoo and points over friendship", but now the situation is different. She is refuses to talk to me, thinking I betrayed her trust ! How do I make her change her mind ? Its not that I cannot live without her friendship, but I do miss a candid thought exchanger, a person without bias, a truly interesting person !!

Citizen Caine: you are so right. i can always find friends who are candid, interesting and unassuming. but the mental compatibility was set in this case. infact in real life i do have friends like that. but as petty human beings we always like to live in world of "what if". i think i have to change that and accept things that are there. Other thing is the friend told me I betrayed her trust and then broke the friendship, I did not disregard her. So, now no matter how much I try to tell her she is never going to take heed. Not much to do from my side you see.

Answer 1

I can see what you are trying to say. But there are other people who are also candid thought exchanger, unbiased and interesting.

Try one last chance to explain your side (it's not that necessary, because if she's really a friend, then she wouldn't take anybody's word against yours or believe something she heard from people who is bad mouthing you, unless the person bad mouthing you knows her or she knows the person more that she knows you) message her, send her notes or call her do whatever necessary thing possible. If she still did not heed your side, then she's really not considered a friend. Not worth a thought. I know, she's interesting and all, but you can always find other people who have the same characteristics and much more and who will like you.

As for the person who is bad mouthing you. The question is why? You already know what this person is doing, it's best that you confront this person now in your own way. The person sounds two-faced. Not worth the thought, but you don't put this person at the back of your head. Do something about it.

Or if you don't want to confront the person, you can always do the ignore them part. Just ignore them, and if your friends are your real friends who believes in you, then they wouldn't believe whatever it is this person has to say.


I hope that helps. :)

Answer 2

Best to talk to your friend about this.
By the way you won`t lose a real friend this way, because anyone who lies and is nasty to you, really they ain`t no real friend, and you would be better off not bothering with people like that.
It`s sad but true that not everyone is honest and nice.

Answer 3

I think you got your point across.... I hope she reads it:)

Answer 4

I really don't know!