My wife has had a complete hysto--whatever.and hasn't had a drive for at leastthree years.PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-10 05:40:05 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
be good in bed
This is not to blame you but there is something you are not doing that would get her going. be romantic, buy flowers, make supper for her, rub her back, kiss her neck, take a bath with her....she needs to see a doctor and take something because this is more unfair to her that she is missing being a woman and tell her that. I had a hysto and it made me very horney and other women say the same thing... I think she was raised to think sex was just to have kids or something...
There are women natural enhancers...vitmins that help circulation to the genital areas. also medications for women like the viagra.
I think you should talk to her and tell her that you need to be with her and feel like you can be intimate with her, you miss that time with her being close. Be careful not to make her feel like you just want to get off...you can do that in the shower...
I never knew a woman who would not get turned on with oral sex. some do not like the breast stimulation and some do not like other things but the vagina does not have much sensory input beyond the first 2 inches and this is not what causes orgasm anyway...kissing and the clitoris does.
maybe there are other things bothering her like maybe she wanted children, or feels like she is changed after surgery...I do not know.
talk to her. I was certified as a marriage/sex therapist in California so if you need any more help I will try to help. seriously.
2006-06-10 05:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by CHERYL S3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried being romantic? Foreplay for a woman can start at the beginning of the day. Give her a little kiss on the neck and tell her she's beautiful, bring her home some flowers or just one beautiful rose. Throughout the day flirt with her. By evening you'll both be ready for some good lovin'
Good Luck
Also don't go to someone else. Work this out with her.
2006-06-10 12:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try the art of erotic massage. Set the atmosphere with candles, incense and soft relaxing music. Get a massage table if you can, it's easier to massage someone who is up high enough so you don't have to bend. Start with massaging her neck, back, buttocks legs and feet... take your time. Then ask her to turn over and start again at the top working your way down slowly. Take your time and don't rush to the private areas. You can take her as far as she wants to go and finish with either sex or no sex depending on how she feels.
Good luck.
2006-06-10 13:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try introducing some new ideas into the bedroom. After a surgery of this type, it is completely normal for women to have a drop in libido, and sometimes there is nothing that can be done. The problem is not necessarily psychological, but counseling may not hurt either.
2006-06-10 12:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by casaudiotc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should make her feel comfortable with sex and have sex as frequently as she wants (if it's at least one time a month). You have to respect your wife. If it really bothers you, you can see a doctor, because there are certain treatments for those who have a lowered sex drive. Otherwise, you can masturbate, because you'd better not cheat on your wife. You had a vow of fidelity when you got married.
2006-06-10 12:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by King Yellow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there's no sex then she's not your wife anymore, she's just a best friend. I'd either divorce her or get her permission to have a g/f but going without sex is not an option. Life is too short.
I'm assuming she's exhausted all medical options and they didn't work.
2006-06-10 13:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by jerryg1212 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are not created equal. You just have to find out what makes your wife tick.
You may or may not be the blame.
Diversify, use your imagination.
Take her out. A change of environment sometimes helps.
Change your image, perhaps. Change your hairstyle. Find out what she prefers. Change sets aside monotony. Maybe she is just bored.
And last of all, having a great sense of humor is almost synonymous to having a great sex drive.
2006-06-10 13:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by TJ Zez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not unusual. Do your best to cuddle with her and show her you love her for more than just the sex. She will be a bit slower to get in the mood and when she does, try to make the loving last for her to enjoy it the most! I hope this helps!
2006-06-10 12:49:12 · answer #8 · answered by Brenda A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm....all I can say is, from the looks of it, you just have to join the club of men!!!
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2006-06-10 12:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dood, take her to the Adult stores, start easy, stay easy, whatever is comfortable to her, let her pick and do the talking. I do this with my wife on a monthly basis or bi-monthly, Or try this first, Send her or set her up with other females to go to female only adult parties to view products. Eventually you let her feel like she is in control and comfortable. You stay quite,sly,and you will be doing your own training, she will just think she is in controll, don't over do it, reel her in nice and slow, eventuly she will be the one jumping on the hook all by herself!
2006-06-14 21:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by Padre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋