What do you say when your spouse asks you too many questions over and over?

Question

Like, when you go to the store on the way home or where you went on your day off:
When did you wake up?
When did you leave the house?
Where did you go?
Why did you go there?
What time did you leave?
It doesn't take ME that long to shop there, where else were you?
That doesn't make sense, what time did you say you got home?

And then he says he wasn't asking all those questions, he was just wondering why you got home at whatever time.....

I am NOT, have NOT done anything to have him drill me with all these questions.... and even when I answer them he doesn't believe me and KEEPS asking even more questions.

Do I just stop answering any of them?

Do I start asking HIM similar questions about his day, so he will figure out what it feels like to be interrogated?

What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

He seems very insecure about your relationship. It seems like he doesn't trust you. Is there a reason from the past that he shouldn't? He seems very controlling... you should really sit down and talk to him about all the questioning and tell him how it makes you feel. You shouldn't have to answer all of those questions, however some questions are reasonable. There needs to be a happy-medium on the questioning.

Answer 2

Sounds like he's a little insecure about something...as most men are, about one thing or another. It may be something that will pass. If not, ask yourself if you have given him a reason to act this way, weither he has said anything or not to clue you in. Has he:
Ever caught you in a physical / emotional affair:
Ever caught you openly flirting with a close male friend or someone else:
Ever caought you lieing to him about something that was really important to him:
Ever not been able to find you for periods of time when he was trying to contact you, weither you had a legitamite excuse or not (remember, his imagination can do some really awful things if he lets it):
Ever done anything to purposely hurt or misled him:
Ever treated him badly just because you could.
Was he ever dating / married to another woman whom he felt like he could not trust. (thats a big one for most men to overcome)

I would suggest you set down and simply talk to him about it and see where it goes. Call him and let him know where you are if that is what freaks him out. Try calling for a while and see if he slacks off the questions. If you tell him you will be somewhere/do something, then make 100% sure you do that very thing for a while and see if things get better.
Some men act like that because they don't know, for whatever reason, that the person they care about feels the same about them and they are just seeking reasurance that they have someone they can count on in this crazy world. Try reasuring him and tell him how much you care about him. Show him love and affection, don't just tell him you love him.
Give it your best shot and see what affect it has on him. If it has no effect, I would say seek a councilor.

Best of luck to you

Answer 3

You are probably not going to like what I have to say. Your man is a control freak. Statistically this is how physical abuse begins. If you do the same you may push that invisible button and set him off. Protect yourself and get out until he goes through counseling with you to get help. Another thing that is statistically proven is that women who accuse their spouses of cheating (which here is an unspoken accusation) are doing so themselves. Why else does he need to know your whereabouts every minute of every day.
You have the right to be happy in your marriage and the right to spend an hour or more at the store if that is what you want to do. How is this hurting him?? I am worried about you. This does not sound good. Please e-mail me with the outcome of your dilemma. Till then good luck and be careful. Please don't let him hit you.

Answer 4

Hi. Hon, my heart goes out to you. Geeze, this sounds like a HUGE case of lack of TRUST.
Honey, NOT good.

Talk to him flat out that you see he has TRUST issues, and you want to know why? Tell him you are glad to try to tell him what ever he wants to know, but you should be able to ask him all the same questions. Put a time limit on how long this can go on.
THEN tell him, you two are married for criminy sakes! He SHOULD trust you until you prove some reason that he should not.

Be on the look out for 2 red flags.
1. Does he not trust you because HE can't be trusted? (We tend to judge others by our own shortcomings. Look into that).
2. Are there MORE control issues going on like isolation, him "punishing" you when you don't obey, him tantruming when he doesn't get his way, threats, silent treatment, belitteling you, inspecting everything you do at home? These are "control" issues that get worse...Hope that's not the case here.

I think you can work to handle this in the right way.

I wish you love
stw

Answer 5

It sounds to me that he is insecure about something. I would give him three chances. Ask him why are you asking me these questions. Ask him three times and if he still has some stupid "I was just wondering" comment then tell him. I'm not answereing your stupid questions again. Every time he ask them either hang up on him, answer his question with a similar question to him, or walk out of the room and don't answer the question. Then when he starts talking you can tell him that you gave him his chance to accuse you of whatever stupid charge he wanted to charge you with and he didn't do it so as far as your concerned the situation is dropped. I

If he dosn't think that you are cheating he is a control freak. Watch out for him.

Answer 6

Send him a daily memo on where you were at all times...and ask him to do the same for you. After a few times of him having to let you know where and what he's done, he'll either back off or you will leave him. Are you married to this guy? If you are, it sounds like more than one reason as to why he wants to keep tabs on you. See what he's up to.

Answer 7

What your spouse is doing is a form of domestic violence where he indirectly is in control of your whereabouts and this may further extend to what you do, whom you see, when and why you do anything and everything you do etc he sounds quite insecure and possessive. To make things worse, it seems that you are unaware that though his actions and words infuriate you, in actual fact YOU are allowing his behaviour every time you answer and/or react toward his ludicrous ways. Take control of the situation before it gets out of hand. You don't deserve this kind of interrogation particularly from your spouse.

Answer 8

Give him a taste of his own medicine maybe than he will understand what he makes you go thru!! If that doesn't work just tell him that you don't need a minute recorder!! so he needs to back off and give you ur space!!
Seems like he doesn't have a life of his own?? Tell him to get a life of his own!!
or maybe he might be cheating so that way he knows exactly where you every minutes so he doesn't get caught!! Interesting!!
Think about it and keep an eye on him!

Answer 9

Your spouse is wanting specific timelines.

If you have had no affair or one time fling or close male friend then his suspicions may be feelings of guilt. Think through any possibilities that may have made him suspicious - has a male friend (his or yours) flirted with you in front of him, has a male approached you and the two of you conversed at a party or gathering???

Though you haven't lied to him in the past - now may be the time to check up on him.

What does he do at work? Where does he go to lunch? Who does he go with? Does he work late? How often? Where at? Who with?

His insecurities are going to result in his world falling apart or his gaining full control of you.

You do not deserve that...

Answer 10

because he loves you very much that he doesn't want to loose you. he feel unsecured with outside which or who will take you away from him.
He just ensure his self by interrogated you.
Please understand the reason. if you not feel convenience with his questions just be open to him, talk to him about this. .ensure him that nothing outside will change your heart from his love, hope this way will make him understand and stop interrogate you.