Okay, here's the story...I'm educated, I have a good career, and consider myself a pretty stable individual; however, I'm also a human being, capable of making mistakes. I have 3 teenage children from a previous marriage and I've been with Dawson for 8 years (engaged for 2). Not long ago, Dawson and I were having some major trouble in our relationship; in fact, we were talking very seriously about separating. It was hard on us both. Well, during this time, I met Sam at work. Sam and I developed a pretty strong friendship that evolved into something else. We had an intimate relationship for about 2 months. It ended when Sam began expecting me to leave Dawson. It finally dawned on me what a fool I was, shaking the stable life my 3 children had, and endangering an 8 year relationship. I was so ashamed. So, I had a long talk with Sam and, as far as I was concerned, it was over. We no longer work the same shift at work. Since then, Sam calls me constantly, threatening to tell everyone....
2006-06-10 03:06:49 · 5 answers · asked by sweetpea3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
....about what happened between us. He calls me late at night drunk. He text messages me all the time. I couldn't possible tell Dawson my secret because he would leave me in a minute (not that I'd blame him). I feel so ashamed and embarrassed and foolish. I will NEVER make the same mistake again. However, how do I stop Sam's actions without letting everyone in on what we did?? If I don't answer my phone, he gets angry, gets drunk, gets threatening. I'm afraid. HELP!!
2006-06-10 03:08:35 · update #1
PLEASE....no "comical" answers from teenagers unless you're truly giving me sensible advice. I only need serious answers here.
2006-06-10 03:12:07 · update #2
I feel for ya. I went thru kinda same thing....unfortunatly it ended in tragety. Best thing you can do is, go ahead & tell him truth. I know your a nervous wreck. Telling may get rid of Sam. I know Dawson will have to have time to think bout what you have done to him. If he really loves you, he will give you a second chance, but most of that trust will be lost. If he doesnt....then there is nothing you can do. Just know you made a mistake and learn from it.
2006-06-10 03:23:58 · answer #1 · answered by flowergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no possible way to stop him from letting ur boyfriend know. first of all the best thing to do to keep this a secret is to move. move someplace far. this is probally not an option. see not trying to be rude but u are an adult so when adults do something stupid they end up having to pay the consequences. having an intimate relationship with some one you worked with was obviously a stupid move and you should have avoided that at all costs. getting with a drunk was one of the worse mistakes you could make. the only other option you have when you are exposed is to lie and say u never did do anything with him. see if that gets you any where. but the ADULT thing to do in this matter is just to come clean. dawson needs to realize that you were with him for a long time. and he has the right to make the decision weather he wants to be with you or not. a relationship does not need to be based on lies and you are lying to him by not telling him that you were involved sexually with sam over there. i think he deserves the truth. would you rather have all this come out from sam and see dawsons reaction or would you rather drive some where with him secluded and tell him in private? spare your children the humility of listening to this from sam and seeing dawson flip out on you in front of them. i know this is not what you want to hear but if the shoe was on the other foot i am sure you would want to know the truth. good luck.
2006-06-10 10:19:11 · answer #2 · answered by wedjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I'd come clean with Dawson, let him know you have made a big mistake and that you regret it. Other wise you will always wonder if someday he will find out. I'm sure he will be angry, but I your love is as strong as you think it will survive. If this lie goes on, you'll never have a peaceful relationship.
Trust is one of the mean ingredient in a happy marriage.
Good Luck , and remember anyone can make a mistake, it's a darn fool who make the same mistake twice.
2006-06-10 10:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...this is a tough one. EVERYTHING is a risk that Dawson is going to find out. Unfortunately the phrase "you reap what you sow" comes to mind. My answer is as follows, but remember, you still risk losing Dawson...
You need to have a conversation with Sam. Let him know that you're tired of his b.s. Be stern, but not mean. Tell him that you and him will NEVER be anything ever again, no matter what, because of his actions since you broke up.
Call his bluff - tell him to do whatever he needs to do to feel better. Tell him that even if that means telling everyone including Dawson, then to go ahead. Tell him that even if Dawson leaves you, he has no chance with you whatsoever. So, if it makes him feel better to ruin a great relationship with NOTHING to gain from it, then to go ahead - and that will simply justify what kind of person he is.
It's a tough gamble, but hopefully it will play on the "good-side" of him that is obviously there since he was a good friend.
2006-06-10 10:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by RCF1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sucks. good luck
2006-06-10 10:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by Erik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋