We fight about it every weekend. He saids that I am trying to control him. I just don't want that type of home. The smell of liquor and smoke is such a nasty smell. It is hard enough to take care of a newborn but to have him drinking every weekend is hard! Am I being rediculous or is this a valid concern with or without a baby.
2006-06-10 02:41:15 · 13 answers · asked by sunneybear1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yep I knew about the drinking problem, DWI, smoking, etc before marriage! Thought baby would change him.... stupid and wrong.
2006-06-10 03:00:23 · update #1
No your not being ridiculous and yes you have a valid concern here...The truth is something is not right with your marriage this is not a very good family life and your baby is stuck right in the middle...See if you can talk to him and tell him you would like to have time with him and as a father he needs to spend time with his child...Everyone needs time sometimes so if he insist on going out tell him that's fine he can have one night and you can have one night...And do that see how long it will take him to get the hint...Go some where even if its to your moms or your sisters and just sit and chill for a few hours it would do you a world of goon...Good luck on this one hope it all works out...
2006-06-10 03:04:50 · answer #1 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No i personally do not feel that this is right at all. He seems to be putting drinking and going out above you and his baby. Is he an alcoholic? Okay look at it this way leave him with the baby on Sundays and you go out and have fun and see how he feels about it. Would he like this? It must be really hard on you to have to care for this baby by yourself without him being around alot and him emotionally supporting you as well. I feel bad for you and for that precious baby and i feel your husband may need to go to AA. You are not being rediculous at all. What you are feeling is normal and I do not feel that you are being controlling at all. Why cant he drink at home one night instead so that he is still with you? Or take you out with him sometimes on dates and take the baby to a sitters so you can get out too and have some out time. You will need counseling and help for this too. I am here if you ever need to talk!
2006-06-10 08:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was your husband like this before the baby was born? Even before you were married? I was married to someone like this ,his drinking eventually turned into full blown alcholizim and we've been divorced for almost 10 years. The thing is that I knew before we were married and had children that he was like this and then I expected him to just magically change once we had our first child. I finally realized that the only way he was going to change was if he wanted to (he is almost 40 years old and the last I heard he was still up to his same old ways). My point is you can't change anyone. He has to realize that what he is doing is hurting you, your child and your marriage.
It's hard to be with someone so selfish. I am so sorry that you are in this situation. You need to do everything you can to find some happiness for you and your baby. What are you doing when he's gone? Sitting at home waiting for him? Are you nursing his hangovers in the mornings? Why don't you try to find some kind of mother's support group? I belonged to one and the women there were awesome to be around. Try calling your doctor's office and see if they know of any in the area. If that doesn't intrest you, find something that does and that you can take your baby with you. Don't just sit around waisting your life waiting on him to change. Good luck and hold and snuggle and kiss that beautiful baby every chance you get, she'll be grown before you know it!! God Bless!!! :)
2006-06-10 03:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Stacy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be concearned about this......If nothing else, he should be helping you take care of your baby. Maybe you could make a deal with him 2 only go out on 1 night. Your right, now that he has a baby 2 care for, he is going 2 have 2 give up some of his old pass-times.
2006-06-10 02:44:34 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Weasel♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not being rediculous. i dont think its ok for hubby to go out drinking every weekend...however, was this something that he was doing prior to marriage or the baby? also, express yuor concerns again to him...is he willing to compromise. if not you need to establish some healthy boundaries with hubby. when he crosses them he should face the consequences.
2006-06-10 03:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you know he drinks and smoke before you married him?
He should not go alone. Get a baby sitter and join him or trade with him, he will baby sit and you go out and vice versa
2006-06-10 02:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very scare this problem. now i don't get married. because i don't know him is the best i must know everything about him before get married. But now i know that he drink and smoke sometime (it's not often) i'm not sure he may lying me. Don't worry if you have baby he'll better
2006-06-10 03:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a big problem if you ask me...Sure you can't stop your husband from going out but can you at least make him do it only one night per weekend?
2006-06-10 02:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Ani♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no no he should help you with the baby taking turns of nurturing give him a reality check and give one day to enjoy by this he will realize its to face the obligations
2006-06-10 02:45:01 · answer #9 · answered by a&d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it not right he needs to be at home with you
2006-06-10 02:54:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋