I am a big girl....I accept that and am trying 2 change. He said that I remind him of that fat girl in Date Movie. He says, shes only a little bigger than you. She was 387lbs. I weigh 220. Why does he hurt me? He introdues me to people as Gordita, and not a day goes by where Im not upset or crying about this. b4 we got together, I was dancing and having confidence. I luv him, but he really hurts me. I won't b intimate with me...but thats cuz he said I have sexual demons driving me. NOTE: im 23 and hes 41.
2006-06-10 02:39:11 · 12 answers · asked by stenochica2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, the longer you take it and put up with it, the more he will do it and won't stop. Does he know your crying all the time and what is his reaction?
You need to ask yourself this one question....
"Is the pain of being with him, worse than the pain of being without him?"
This man calls you names and won't be intimate with you..... you love him, but do you honestly think he loves you? Or do you question it...
Sadly, I think (Just my opinion) that he is hanging in your relationship either because he is not man enough to end it, or he is gaining something from this relationship, like financial help or something.. But it doesn't sound to me like love on his part at all.
Do NOT look to yourself as the problem... yes you may be overweight that is something you will work on, but having someone make you feel so lousy about yourself is NOT going to motivate you... many people eat out of depression or to fill a void.. and with him hurting you, it is self-defeating.
Love yourself enough to know you deserve to be treated with respect....
Try this if you want to test how he feels... Tell him it rips you apart when he calls you that or insults you etc... and that he needs to stop and if he cant then he needs to walk away and if he does... then that should tell you how he really feels...
No one should have to take that...
Tawny
2006-06-10 03:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by Tawny Amber 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why does it seem your husband gets a kick making fun of you?
Get your self esteem back. Don't let anyone take away your self respect.
You can start taking care of yourself - the way you dress, put makeup on, carry yourself... hey, some big women can have a commanding presence, Mona Lisa wasn't as "petite" as Barbie. Let that free spirit and beauty within you come out, some other guys are going to take notice of it, so he'd better treat the precious jewel he has now well. You have it, show the world what you've got.
At your age, girl, you're still a diamond in the rough. You can become whatever you want to become. Treat yourself good, you deserve it.
Don't mind him, if that's how he gets his kicks, he seriously doesn't know you.
2006-06-10 03:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Eiznot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that he is an old fart. If he knows that you a big and if it botheres him than he should give you moral support. Your age difference is almost 20 years. The mindset of a guy that age is very different from that of a younger guy. Maybe he wants to belittle you so that he can feel in control. You should pack your things and leave. Lets see if he will find a nice young girl again. At this age he has to be either filthy rich or exremely good looking for that. I also guess that his performance in bed must have gone down and now he is blaming it on you and your weigth. Don't let him do this to you. Stand up for yourself.
2006-06-10 02:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by hpadbanabhan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, you do not have to put up with his verbally abusive behavior. Find someone who will treat you right. There are plenty of fish in the sea. My ex called me "gordita" and said it was carino. He was a butthole. Get out of this relationship before he destroys what is left of your self-esteem.
2006-06-10 02:44:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to sit down with this insensitive bastard and tell him you are not happy..do you call him hurt full names no so he should show you the same respect by not doing it to you.the next issue if he and you both want you to loose some weight I'm Australian we are metric here so i have no idea how big you are but he needs to be supportive,if he doesn't change his ways perhaps its time to talk to a divorce lawyer.
2006-06-10 02:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you love someone, you don't hurt them like that. I would tell that SOB to pack his sh-t and get out. What is he, Mr. Perfect? I doubt it. To belittle you, makes him feel big. But all he is really doing is making an *** out of himself. That is mental abuse. Do not put up with that. There are alot of men out there who like a heavy woman. But if you chose to lose weight, do it for yourself, not for him. He is not worth it.
2006-06-10 02:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you allow him to treat and down you like this and call you names. Separate from him and get some counseling and help for this. If he cannot love you for you then he is not worth the pain. Is he slim and trim himself? I would definitly get away from him for good!
2006-06-10 08:34:17 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to break your spirit. He's very insecure of you so if he makes you doubt yourself you give your power to him. Baby girl take back your power it takes all kinds to make up this world. Be yourself, Love yourself, and if he can't handle it, oh welllllllllll!
2006-06-10 16:03:38 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only is he hurting you with his insensitive comments, he is also disrespecting you. Trust me, there are plenty of men who love big girls!
2006-06-10 02:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by tim b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry a old loser,is it Ur weight then try to reduce Ur weight.
2006-06-10 02:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by raja rock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋