My brother is married for16 years now and his wife was all ok with our family.He is now forced by her to have no relations with me(his sister) and his parents and she has even stopped the grand chidren to even wish their grandparents.We were so close knit family but this B**** has riuned the family peace.She is not ready for any communication further and she insults my parents with her attitude and ...This is making me sick and very sad!!i am happily married though but I am always in constant mental pain because of this.Please help!!They all are staying in one house but never speak to parents though my brother is real caring person but he is helpless as his wife often threaten him to leave him and also take away the kids.And my brother is really attached with them!! Agony!!! Agony!!!
2006-06-10 01:30:52 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Agony Agony... Drama Drama....
Look... This "B-I-T-C-H"... might be influencing people you know and love. But unless she's:
1) Drugging them
2) Holding a gun to their head
3) A professional Hypnotist...
THEY are making the decision... not HER. I love my sister... But... If her husband said "You can't see her".... I'd say... "Yeah right... and see her anyway".
There is MUCH MORE here then YOUR SIDE of the story.
Perhaps... when she tried to enter the "inner ring" of your previously "close knit family"... she met with resistance, and was not welcomed with open arms. Perhaps... Your family was UNUSUALLY CLOSE, and her's UNUSUALLY DISTANT, and the contrast has her thinking YOU GUYS are nuts.
I'm just telling you that HARDLY ANYONE causes trouble when they are treated fairly... And when a person marries, they leave ONE NUCLEAR FAMILY to start another one.
My advise? Try to get to the bottom of the stuff that YOU GUYS did to alienate her... It's hard work but it just may be worth it. ALSO... maybe call a TRUCE... and find out what other family members have done...
If none of this works... take some acting lessons. Drama... and AGONY AGONY... just isn't working for me.
The fact that you're trying to "TEACH HER a LESSON" not "get to the bottom of this and help"... tells me that this WIFE of your brother... probably has quite a few good reasons for staying away.
2006-06-10 01:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there really no hope for you to have a heart-to-heart talk with your sister-in-law? If she grants a word with you which humbly you should ask her to do, use this chance to ask her if she has a problem with your parents or anyone else in your family that makes her not to talk to them even if they stay in one house. She may divulge her reasons and if she does, analyze them if they are true and valid. Only then can you act towards a possible reconciliation when she lets the cat out of the bag. She could have had experiences that brought her to be like that. If your family side and your sister-in-law could talk peacefully, things may turn to be all right very soon.
I suspect that she is that kind of woman who does not want to live with in-laws which is common to independent women. Their living in your parents' house perhaps makes her feel miserable which in turn makes her relationship with all of you unfriendly and bitter. If your brother can afford financially to leave your parents' house with his family, I think, it may lighten up the tension and indifferences among you. And if they do transfer to another house, try to see if your sister-in-law's attitude will change. If she changes, then it's a sure thing that she wants to be in an independent family. And let them be happy as they please. All of you deserve peace and love in your growing family.
Teaching her a lesson should be your least concern. Act on the situation with understanding and patience. You will never go wrong.
2006-06-10 02:25:41 · answer #2 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact of the matter is that this woman doesn't own him. If he wanted to talk to you or his parents, he could and would. Just because she threatens him doesn't mean anything. He's a man, he can take the heat.
Family comes before friends or love - if he really cared he would say "screw it" and talk to you. Besides, if she's as horrible as you say she is, he should file for divorce. Courts can't keep his children from him just because she's angry that he's talking to his family.
You'll just have to let him sweat this one out on his own. I know it's hard for you, but just stop and realize that he's an adult and if he really cared, he would be ignoring it and doing as he pleases. She's not holding a gun to his head or keeping him tied down. He's a free man and can do what he want, and if he chooses to stay married to her and not speak to any of you, that just shows you what type of man he is.
2006-06-10 01:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kristen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't much YOU can do. It's up to your brother to control the situation. She is his wife and those are his parents and family. He'll have to be the man and stand up to his wife and tell her "hey look here, knock it off" or whatever. I'm sure it's not an easy situation for any of you and I'm sure it's hard for your brother to have to choose between his wife and his family; but he may have to do so. As they say "blood is thicker than mud" and women will come and go but his family will always be there. You can speak to your brother about this, but ultimately it's going to be up to him to set things straight.
Good luck.
2006-06-10 01:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you're going thru as my family is enduring the same problem. My brother is a wonderful father, but he also risks losing the children if she decides to leave, which would break him up. Unfortunately my brother thought with his p*nis instead of his brain when he got tangled up with her. Good luck in your family situation. Is your sister-in-law a hypochondriac too?
2006-06-10 01:40:02 · answer #5 · answered by jammer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! First off, your brother needs to stand up to her. I don't understand this "women bossing men around", it's total crap (for lack of a better word). He needs to talk to her and straighten this mess out. If she leaves, well he'd probably be better off (as she does not sound like anyone I'd like to know) and I'm sure he'd get 50% custody (if not more) if that's what he wants. Who says she can take the kids? Why can't he say leave but they are with me? This is tough and I hope it all works out for the best for you bro and your family. Good luck.
2006-06-10 01:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by Dukie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did something happen to make her behave this way? It seems strange that she was once friendly but now her feelings are different. Can your brother shed some light on the situation for you? Does he know why she feels the way she does? If you can't find out the truth, then you can't resolve it.
2006-06-10 01:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen very carefully - it is not your place to teach her anything. You cannot do anything, nor do you have the authority to do anything to HER.
...BUT, keep up relations with your blood - call, write (no return address - maybe to his JOB - especially on holidays etc.), do not cut the lines. You can only hope he'll stand up and put her in her place. DO NOT DEMAND OR CALL HER NAMES OR DO ANYTHING TO JUSTIFY WHAT SHE'S DOING - be loving and supporting only - to BOTH of them.
There is nothing more to be done. Anything other than this will make matters much worse.
2006-06-10 01:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll pray for you, sir, but I have no specific answers for you right now. God can help you (James 1:5), though.
2006-06-10 01:34:23 · answer #9 · answered by JSB2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your brother don't have the guts to teach some lesson to his wife, what is the alternative for you to teach her?
2006-06-10 01:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋